May 13, 2025 - Well, I'm back. It is so lonely in this house now, and talking to myself wasn't gettin' it, so I will type instead.

Norman died suddenly on April 29th. My neighbor Sue and I were outside playing with the dogs. Sue would kick the ball to Norman then he'd bring it to me, and I'd throw it. This went on for quite a while until he saw me loving on Gertie (Sue's doggie) and he came running up and got slobber on her (which I tended to find humorous since Ron hated that...no offense, Ron!). After the slobbering, he turned around and saw a stick in Justin's yard he had yet to pee on (which was his goal in life, to urinate on every possible piece of tree debris in my yard). He went over and started chewing on it and Sue thought she should take it to Justin's burn pile, and I told her, "No, he's happy - let him chew on a stick!" and we continued to talk when we heard a god awful noise from Norman's way and turned and he was down flat. I got down on my hands and knees and crawled up to him. Just by the look on his face - his eyes - I knew he was leaving. Sue ran to get Ron and take Gertie home. I petted Normie, told him to find his Dad and slobber him for a change and I thanked him for the comfort he brought me. There were several tremors as I petted him, then he was gone. Ron came over and confirmed he felt no heart beat then the neighbors went in to over drive. Ron called my vet and asked when they closed so we could bring the body up, and then he called Justin and told him to come home because I needed him. Ron went to get a blanket and Sue stayed with me. (She had to help me up, though. I was down there and couldn't get up.) Justin got home and cleaned up Norman's back side for me, and they wrapped him in a blanket and loaded him in the back of Ron's truck. The boys were off to our veterinarian's office in the truck and Sue took me up in her car. The boys carried him in the back and placed him on the little room's floor. I had started to kind of go into shock on the way up with Sue. The vet on duty came in and had confirm he was gone. "No heartbeat" she muttered and she felt him all over and said, "I bet it was a massive heart attack..." That was my thought, too. He had previous spells where he 'fainted' and collapsed. I am sure he had a bad heart, now that I ponder it. The last time he did that my niece was here and he crapped himself too, but he came out of it. Sigh. They took Norm away on a gurney and the neighbors took me home.

I drank heavily that night. I cried my heart out. I had the music up loud. Norman had been with me for five years, through my husbands passing, through thick and thin these last five years. He was my "Covid Baby" as it were - spoiled beyond belief. He was MY BABY BOY and he let everyone know it, especially my grandson. Norman did not like him one bit! He got the attention that I am sure Norman though should be his.

The house has been too quiet. I have been getting full night's worth of sleep (I've not slept all night since I got the boy). There is no chaos as before... just silence. I gave all of his food and toys to my niece for her doggies. I moved the couch around and it opened up the living room quite nicely without his huge bed taking up half the floor. For two weeks I've been working through this all in my head. He was a good boy. I miss him terribly. I am just glad he passed FAST and he didn't suffer. We should all be that lucky when our time comes.

We are in "End to End" daily meetings all month for our up coming migration to the new software. Today was the first day I kind of got excited about the whole thing. Not sure why, really. So much to stuff into our little brains, but today I saw 'hope' in a remote, very far away way...

All my kids were here the weekend after Norm passed. That was great comfort. My grandson was so good all weekend. Normally I call him "Mr. Peepers" (a skit from an old Saturday Night Live show) because his attention span is normally .03 seconds...but that weekend he was just a doll. I blew up two balloons for him and you would have thought I had given him the world, he had so much fun with them. He also loves BUBBLES, so there were plenty of those flying around. I too, love bubbles. He's my kind of kid.

This Mother's Day weekend my sons took me to breakfast on Saturday and came back home so my wee one could mow my yard and my oldest helped me do a few things - mainly we gabbed - but still - it was nice. Sunday my niece came over and cleaned for me, and we had pizza and sat around talking which was also nice. I did not feel lonely on Mother's Day weekend. A blessing!

I suppose I will go do something constructive. There are hardly any dishes to do anymore...hardly any laundry. I did not realize the amount of effort I put in to keep Norm's bowls clean and the amount of slobber rags he produced - I had to do a load every day! I also figured out how much I spent on food for him a month, and if I told you, you'd most likely lose control of one of your orifices. Smile. Unreal.

May 25, 2025 - Ah, a nice quiet day. I ran up to get a few tomato plants to put in my boxes I had ready for them. I picked up some parsley plants, too. I go through a lot of parsley. Yesterday when the boys came for breakfast, we went to the nearby green house and picked out the rest of my flowers for my flower beds. Two wee beds i just put in wild flower seed. I love wild flowers growing all willynilly. I planted wild flower seeds in the old dead spiral willow in the yard, too. I loved it last year when they were blooming on top. I stopped and had lunch at my favorite diner. (SOS). Now I'm home, chillin'...

Mid June I am getting two sibling kittens - one male, one female. I am adopting them from a rescue place. I have started stocking up on things...kitty litter, a scratching post, I already had a kitty condo. I got kitty food and some toys. I am not really 'excited' but I am looking forward to introducing chaos back in to my life. I am looking forward to someone needing my attention again. (I believe I've always had to give my attention to someone. My youngest son said, "Mom, why don't you just worry about JUST YOU for a change." I told him, "Hey, I bought myself a new bra! I have been good to me!") I do miss the chaos part in the house a lot. I would like to name one of them Bonkers (if the name applies) and one Rishi.

Rishi is actually someone I work with in India on the implementation. When we started the whole process, we'd be on the teams meetings and their team would literally yell at poor Rishi, "RISHI, WRITE THIS DOWN!" "RISHI, ARE YOU NOTING THIS?" "Rishi (do this) and RISHI (do that)!" I felt bad for the guy. He wasn't stupid by any means, just obviously lower on the totem pole. I had had about enough of the Rishi abuse, so one time when he joined the meeting I screamed RISHI!!!!!!! Everyone kind of laughed and the head of the team in India said, 'Sandy, you are full of coffee this morning?" and I said, "This is a possibility, Nagesh, but I figured all you guys yell at poor Rishi all the time like I yell at Norman, so I thought I would at least try to make him feel a bit of happiness and appreciation before we start." Rishi thanked me and now it is tradition to holler at Rishi. They've even let him actually do presentation now, and I like his style and his understanding and his knowledge. Hence the reason I want to name one kitten RISHI because it is actually fun to scream out, to be honest...

I have the bedding in the washer. Like I said before, the need to wash anything has fallen dramatically since Norman's departure from this earth. Tonight, though, I thought I would have clean bedding and take a nice bath bom hot soak before bed. I would shave my legs but my legs don't grow hair anymore. They barely ever did. I got that from my Mom. She didn't have hairy legs, either. All of my hair is in my mustache and beard and I would gladly exchange that for excessively hairy legs any day. Oh well. It is what it is and who am I to complain? At least at this point I am still breathing!

I made chicken salad for sandwiches and brownies for my sister in law's visit - which I thought was today - but it is tomorrow, but that is OK - the chicken salad will have time to blend flavors well. So me, I'm going to go take a nap. I seem to excel at naps lately. (Until there are kittens running all over me...)

May 31, 2025 - We have a bad air alert due to the smoke from Canada. I don't see it like I did last year with the fires out west, though. My cousin in Wisconsin says it smells like 'butt' ...

I have been so enjoying the birds at the bird feeders in the dog pen. At night I get raccoons in there eating the fallen seed, which is OK. I've yelled at them and they fear nothing, those raccoons. During the day, I get so many types of woodpeckers, titmouses, nuthatches,  grackles, redwinged back birds, cowbirds, chickadees, finches, bluejays, orioles, mockingbirds, cardinals, juncos, sparrows, mourning doves, starlings, hummingbirds, and I've had one sighting of a catbird and a rose breasted grosbeak and an indigo bunting. You can imagine that I go through a LOT of bird food and you would not be wrong.(I didn't count robins as they don't come to the feeders).

June 1, 2025 - I have made myself ground chicken meatloaf, corn on the cob, and boiled taters for lunch. That most likely will tide me over for a supper, too. I felt like I had to eat 'real food' for a change. Cooking for one sucks, I must say. I ran to the store this morning to get a few more flowers to plant. Not many at all, just a few dahlias to put in the crotch of the willow tree that fell several years ago. What is left of the old willow tree is also a high rise chipmunk condo unit, so we'll see if the dahlias survive or if I end up blocking some of their entries and they take matters into their own hands.

My grandson will ask his parents for one of us (Me - who is NaNa) and the other grandparents (Oma and Opa for the the paternal grandparents) and TT (for my oldest son.) Once they do the video call, he is happy, but then soon says BYE BYE after he's pointed out various things such as his Mommy, his puppy, and his Daddy. My daughter said today he is moody because of teething and she just wanted him to get through til lunch then nap time. Smile. I sang him Wheels on the Bus. He likes that song. (Me, not so much, but hey - I try.)

Apparently there is a good chance for auroras tonight. During one of my pee trips, I shall check the sky for them (and no doubt break up a gang of raccoons out in the pen as well...) It would be nice to see them. Last time they were active, I could only see them via the camera. Tonight they stated they may be visible without the aid of a cell phone camera. Maybe it will even have an effect on radio signals on Earth. The weekend will go out with a bang. Or, with the majority of other cool celestial events, it will get cloudy here and I'll see nothing at all...

June 15, 2025 - There is a momma nuthatch bringing her two kids to the suet feeder. They won't get on the feeder, mind you, but she shoves their faces full of suet as they perch on the fence. Several momma birds have brought their offspring. The word is out - this old lady feeds birds so take advantage of it, while it lasts!

Nothing new to report. Besides feeding a plethora of wild life (from gigantic crows to the baby squirrels) not much is happening. I can't wait for my kittens. I want chaos in the house! Kittens are so darned silly I will thoroughly enjoy their antics to no end. I will contact the rescue place again tonight - just to check on ETA. Last time I picked out two kittens, she said that they were given away before I laid claim to them and now I worry the same thing will happen with my two tabby kittyies. NO worries. My youngest niece works as a vet tech and they have a batch of kittens. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GETTING KITTENS. I have kitten food, litter, litter box, scratching post, and toys....you name it.

Work is getting more and more intense. I could have worked all weekend on the project, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I did my 'normal' stuff, but I didn't attempt to work on the implementation stuff. I believe I'm broken? Sigh.

I had breakfast with the boys Saturday morning up by where they live at a new place they like. Today we had breakfast at my diner in honor of their Dad. I just got done having my leftovers from Saturday breakfast for my supper tonight. I will have the leftovers from this morning's breakfast for supper tomorrow. Woo Hoo - two days not trying to figure out what to make for supper. I made potato salad last week and had that for lunch and supper for several days, as well as forcing my neighbor to take a ton. It was pretty good, I must say. I do love a good batch of tater salad, precious.

I admired the turn out for No Kings Day yesterday. Impressive. Sometimes I wonder what we could do as a country if we band together like that - we could end hunger and housing issues.

I've been having such vivid dreams lately. One that is sort of a repeater takes place in a huge house I dreamed about a few weeks ago where my parents bought the house from Tom Hanks. It had room after room of stuff in it. There have been dreams lately in the same house, no parents or Tom Hanks, but room after room filled with things. I spend my night going through those rooms. Lovely sets of dishes. Awesome glassware....on and on it goes. I would LOVE to know what my brain is doing. Is it trying to tell me something or is it just showing me a weird movie to entertain me while it sorts stuff out and files things away? Maybe I secretly feel guilty for not doing the whole Swedish Death Cleaning thing (getting rid of stuff you will never use or sell at a garage sale so your kids don't have to deal with it after you pass...) I have no clue what those dreams are about.

Today when my boys were over, there was quite the raucous in the front maple tree and then suddenly a baby squirrel came flying out of the tree. The baby was fine, and scampered right back up, but I would love to have known what that was all about. Plop.


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