2008 

Wet Sands Archives 2008 - My Thoughts as I Knew Them, a diary of Sandra Lynn

These pictures were taken at midnight on New Years Eve/Day.  It was snowing quite hard.   The dogs seemed so thrilled to have new fresh snow to play in.  I believe all dogs treat a fresh layer of snow like an artist treats a new canvas...or, they just consider a fresh layer of snow just a whole new place to poop. 

January 11 2008 - It's been raining an we lost all of our snow, and we had a lot of snow.  When it rains and snow melts, it tends to cause flooding situations.  Ah, Michigan.   This morning, however, the wind is cold again and the rain wants so desperately to be snow, I can just feel it.  It's 'pelty' rain, and we all know rain that pelts is just the gateway rain to snow.

My motto this new year is "If it's on the ground (and doesn't belong there) just pick it up!" Basically, it's a 'just do it' sort of statement, but Nike beat me to that one...  I know, I've said that before, claiming it's one of the things I live by but it's so easy to forget what you think you believe in.  I have been mired in depression for two months now, and I finally decided it was time to piss or get off the pot. Depression has a way of freezing you in time.  (If you've never been depressed, then you probably have no clue what I'm talking about, and I want to know your secret...)  

If you don't deal with your emotional issues, they just get layered and compressed in your brain and your brain has no room for layered repressed stuff, so it sends it off to storage units along your spine and other places in your body where it gets forgotten as it wasn't properly inventoried in the first place, and it never gets dealt with by your rational center.  This causes an issue when an completely innocent brain function happens to stumble upon a stash of repressed and unresolved issues...and then the crap hits the fan. 

So I will come to terms with my 'fake' depression and deal with it.  I say 'fake' depression as it's not valid - I have a house and kids and people who love me and pets that make me laugh and I'm far from starving.  I have no REAL thing to be depressed about, but we as humans can get all confused about life sometimes.  Our priorities get off kilter and we tend to dwell on issues that are not, in fact, issues at all. 

So, the other day I decided I was sinking further in to a hole that I knew perfectly well how to get out of, so I am getting out of it.  Oh sure, I'm older and it's harder to get out of holes, but I'm climbing out at a nice pace.  I know it was all cumulative issues directly related to work...but when you obsess about one thing, it's like a black hole - drawing more 'issues' in to the mix.  Sigh.  We have an offsite meeting with our new owners in two weeks, so it will be nice to hear what is in the works for my place of employment.  Of course, I immediately think of Auschwitz when ever anyone mentions 'off site meeting' and picture them getting us all in a room and turning on the gas...but that is being so negative and I digress... 

Other than that, life has been good so far all year.  The kids are back in college/school and life continues on.  I force myself to read the news every morning lately, only because that was one of my issues - that I couldn't deal with how the world seems to be falling apart so I avoided it and hid from it.  You can't avoid it.  You can't judge other people and ignore the world, but you can help out where you can to keep others from having problems or going in a direction that is not a good direction. 

I went to the doctors after the first of the year to get stitches out of my head (had a cyst removed) and she said in a matter of fact voice, "So, when are you going back on Weight Watchers?"  I laughed out loud.  "We've been back on it for a week!"  I stated.  I think she noticed my weight gain.  I've noticed my weight gain.  All three of us (my husband and I and my oldest son) fell off the WW wagon a month or so ago and now we're back on it.  We all feel better not eating entire planets every day.  Food for us as a family is definitely a comfort thing during stressful times.  Plus it tastes so darned good.  Over Christmas we didn't watch our intake AT ALL.  If you heard a vacuum sound ringing in your ears, it was us sucking up food.

My dogs are so confused over the fact all the cars are parked right out front.  We normally park to the side of the house, but due to the large amount of rain induced sink holes, we've all been parking on stable ground. They will catch the reflection of a passing car on the window of one of our cars and it drives them NUTS. They have been perched on the back of the couch watching and protecting us from our parked car for several days now. One never knows when a vehicle will have a 'Christine' fit and attack.

My youngest turned 15 on the January 5th.  Sigh.  I cannot believe he's 15!!   Just seems like yesterday he was pushing his baby toes through my uterus to the point where I could count all his toes from his forceful impression on my skin!  He came out with the greatest speed of all of my babies.  I broke water at 9:30...we got to the hospital at 10:10 p.m. and he flew out at 11:11 p.m.  It took me all of last weekend to spank him 15 times, as he's much taller than I am and strong.  Every time I'd spank him, he'd hit back.  Fun was had by all...He is officially 5' 10" now, and growing in leaps and bounds.  He got my good looks and his Dad's height.  My BFF Vickie says he looks just like me.  My son would like to argue that point...

January 17 2008 - My dear friend Diane wrote me a wonderful letter with the subject line, "...the funny thing about depression..." and it was so true.  Depression is a Catch 22 of sorts.  You know you are depressed but you can't do anything about it because you're so darned DEPRESSED.  I have been feeling much better by just saying, "Hey, I'm depressed!" and dealing with it from there.  Vickie called me last night and we talked a long time about many things and various topics.  I think we both agreed on the fact that all of us in the whole USA have/had parental units or relatives that probably needed a form of brain chemical assistance over the years...sigh.  Being human is a drawn out 'mental evolutionary process' that never stops and is sometimes very confusing.  (And Vickie - congrats on your weight loss!  You rock, soul sister!)  

Speaking of Brains...(or the lack thereof)

The other day on the way to work the Journey song called "Open Arms" came on the radio.  I love Journey music, mainly the early stuff when Steve Perry was with the group. "Open Arms" came out in the early 1980s and was not one of my favorites back them because it was such a whiny song, but over the years I have come to appreciate the vocal range of the singer so I will listen to it and even attempt to sing along to it. (Steve Perry has a vocal range from here to California and back. That man can sing.  Sandy on the other hand has a three note vocal range and it's never the same three notes so when I am singing it's like a crap shoot what might eek out of my mouth...) The verse to the song "Open Arms" goes something like (as the title implies) "...So now I come to you with open arms..." 

So there I am, a 47 year old woman attempting to sing along to this song (which in itself is hilarious had you heard me trying to sing it and I am sure people and wildlife all over this county are grateful it wasn't summer and the windows of my car were not down) and I'm trying my best to sing along to this song but failing miserably, when it gets to the verse where Steve sings in a high,parallel octave range from another dimension and universe, "So now I come to you with open arms..." and I sing the line loudly and as clearly as a bell ringing through the clean crisp morning air on a quiet Sunday morning, "SO NOW I COME TO YOU WITH BROKEN ARMS....." My eyes were already watering from attempting to hit notes outside of my three note range, but when I heard what had just come out of my mouth I burst out laughing.  "What the hell was that?" I laughed, "...BROKEN arms???!!" 

Seriously, I was so concentrated on trying to sing this song I couldn't figure out where BROKEN ARMS came from when 1). I've never had a broken arm and 2). I know perfectly well what the lyrics are! 

I am now convinced my brain, seeing me strain with the task of this had to do something to stop me from singing.  I can hear my brain now barking commands to it's cells, "Break that connection, now!  We're all gonna die if you don't!  If she keeps singing like this we're going to collapse upon ourselves and implode, ripping a hole in the time/space continuum!  I don't care how you do it - make her laugh - whatever, but break that synapse and stop her from going on with this heinous crime to humanity!"

My friend Jane also had a brain misfire the other day.  She was in the shower going through her morning routine like we all do mindlessly most mornings, and she said she had put on the shampoo and washed it out and grabbed the conditioner and proceeded to smear it all over her face and massage it in.  She missed her hair completely. Her brain apparently had to shake things up or just it just had a general brain fart.  (On the other hand, she says she's never had such soft facial skin...)

I had also been thinking about kicking people in a ninja fashion all day long on Monday.   I would envision it in my head in microsecond burst of mental vision, just having my leg shoot out and catching them in the back of their knees and dropping them.  I am in no physical condition to do this, and I well know it, but this thought of kicking like a ninja haunted me all day.  So precisely at 8:45 p.m. that night I decided I could just 'kick' and get it out of my mind.  Just kick the air...that way I wouldn't be dreaming about it all night as well.  I stood in the middle of my living room alone for approximately 10 minutes sorting out the pros and cons of using a body part in a way that it was not conditioned to be used.  Suddenly, I just kicked the air.  My right leg shot out and swung around in an arc and returned safely to it's original starting position.  I giggled.  It didn't hurt nor did I fall to the ground in pain.  I kicked 'like a ninja' for no good reason then went to bed.  I smiled to myself 'til I fell asleep...

January 22 2008 - My daughter and her boyfriend went to 'prom' last Friday, although I'm not sure you call it a 'prom' in college.  Band Banquet is more the term, I think.  They had a hoot. 

She took me along with her for a hair appointment with Terri last Thursday.  My daughter even PAID which is wonderful as I had no monies for a hair appointment.  It was nice to get out with my daughter and we blabbed the whole time about life, the universe, and everything.  (Kudos to Terri for listening to that train of thought for two hours and surviving.)  I love going to see Terri.  She wise magic for a hair.  My BFF Vickie is coming up in April, maybe I will get us a hair appointment for that week just to 'relax' and hang out...I love having my hair played with.  I go into a hair coma.   Very relaxing. 

My oldest son is going to the car show today in Detroit with one of his best friends.   This has been an annual tradition for them several year.  Hopefully they drive out of the snow band that has engulfed this morning.  They can be old codgers, but if they are your kids - you still worry.

Tomorrow is the first official collective gathering offsite with our new bosses from Japan.  I hope it's a meeting full of inspiration and happy fun super news for us as a whole. Staying employed is a good thing at this point in Michigan's economy. 

January 28 2008 - I stood with my head sticking out of the door this morning at 5 a.m. calling "Kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty" although I was doing it so fast it sounds more like "kikikikiikikikikii" and as I was calling the cats I wondered how many times in my life I've used the phrase 'kitty kitty kitty' to summon critters of the feline persuasion.  Too many times to count, I assumed to myself as I've always had cats when I could in my 47 years on earth, and if everyone in the United States uses the phrase 'Kitty Kitty' to call their cats then why do I bother naming cats in the first place?  

So as I was pondering that fact I got to looking at the stars directly above me and was in awe of the grandness of life in general when I heard a horn blasting down the road.   If it were not 5 a.m. I would have assumed it was part of a wedding party, but figured it was someone on their way to work honking at a herd of deer because in reality not many things need honking at on country roads besides deer this time of year nor at this time of the morning...but we all know once you honk at a herd of deer on a country road at five a.m., they will come back later when you are asleep and let all the air out of your tires.  Deer are born rebels and can hold a grudge forever, but I digress...   I was also thinking on the fact I had forgotten my Aunt Trudy's birthday as well as my dear friend Reva's birthday over the weekend, and talked to myself a bit about that issue.  All the while I believe I was still spewing forth in small bursts of "kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty..."

Due to the fact my ears were very cold, I pulled my head in from outside. It was 5:10 a.m. by then and the cats had already slipped in the door, eaten and pooped, and were snuggled down in on the chairs in the living room no doubt wondering why I was still hollering out the front door when they were all accounted for and present. 

The offsite meeting went well. The head of our new company was there to welcome us. They also had every major head of every major department there which to me was a good show of support.  They encourage communication!  Wow!  What a concept!  I was not disappointed after the meeting, and even had a hint of hope in the back of my mind.  

My son can't find his wallet this morning, and I don't even feel bad for him.  It is time he started taking care of his 'stuff' and knowing where his 'stuff' is.  If his stuff is missing, he should have figured that out last night so he had time to look for his stuff.  Sigh.  A parent will forever worry about their kids and their stuff...

February 08, 2008 - My Mom's Birthday would have been this weekend, and it was always said in the family that you always knew when it was Bettie's birthday because there was some kind of ice storm.  We got that a bit early this year, but still - we had ice.  Up north more they had ice and snow.  The roads have not been kind the last few days. 

Me, being the official story teller of and survivor of the "Blizzard of '78" would much rather drive in 8 ft. of snow than drive on sheets of ice.  You know where you stand with snow - you can either drive through and over it or you can't...you get stuck in it or you don't.  Ice is more like life in general, as you have limited control of the situation.

Wednesday night, if you walked outside, it sounded like a large bowl of Rice Krispies as the ice coated trees swayed in the wind.  I spent a half hour feeding ice to the dogs that night.  Taking a chunk of ice from the window well and giving it to them was like handing them a side of raw beef, I swear!  They ate it with gusto.  Apparently fresh and natural house ice is much tastier than your normal domesticated ice cube produced in a freezer. They even fought over the house ice like a pack of wild dingoes would argue over a fallen zebra.

When the roads are icy, I always warn my kids (who have cars and drive) to drive carefully.  I worry.  However, it dawns on me that telling them to drive with caution in visibly blizzard like conditions out is just plain stating the obvious.  No one is going to go out on icy roads telling themselves, "Heck, I should go 80 and drive with reckless abandon while talking on my cell phone and knitting this sweater..." However, as a Mom, those warnings eek out of me like water through a crack in a bucket.  It's not like saying these things to my kids will absolve me of any wrong doing should something happen to them..."Oh, I told her to be careful - I swear I did!"  It's more like a requirement of Mom-hood.  As a Mom you've seen them grow up and do stuff like leave for school without a back pack or clothes or underwear.  You've seen them digs holes then turn right around and step in them...so it's required by law that you warn grown children to be careful in winter weather.

My youngest son had two days this week where there was a two hour delay - one on Tuesday for fog and one on Thursday for ice on the back roads.  I must admit the fog was the worst I've seen in a while.  If you are over 40, you tend to see mostly white fluff with those eye-floaty things dancing all over your frame of vision while you try to navigate in the stuff. 

The Super Bowl was a very good game, I must say.  I enjoyed it.  It didn't even feel like your normal Super Bowl or normal football game...it was just good entertainment and it was over before you knew it as it was so watch-able.  Commercial wise, I loved the e*Trade commercials with the baby and the Bridgestone Tire commercials.  Since the whole Janet Jackson boob deployment thing, they have toned the Super Bowl entertainment down a bit and I think that includes the commercials, but you can't go wrong with talking babies and talking animals or Richard Simmons. 

Several of my kid's friends are going through some tough times right now.  One lost a dear Uncle and is grieving.  One lost a girlfriend as is depressed and sad.  I wish I could offer up words of hope to these people, but words sometimes lack any meaning when you are so sad.  I wish I could tell them I too, have gone through these type of things and survived, so if they needed to talk, I would listen and understand. I guess we all just have to take it one day at a time and hope for the best and if the roads are icy, drive with caution because, well - I said so...

February 11, 2008 - My friend Esther pointed out (after reading about the dogs and house ice above) that dingoes and zebras are on totally different continents and seeing a pack of dingoes ripping into a zebra carcass would be highly unlikely.  (Very true, unless the dingoes saved up their frequent flyer miles and flew to Africa for a snack?  OK, well...I tried.)  It would have been more appropriate to state that the dogs tear into house ice like a pack of hyenas on a fallen zebra OR the dogs tear into house ice like a pack of dingoes tear into a vegemite sandwich.  What this all boils down to is I have dogs with an ice fettish and Sandy has no clue where Carmen Sandiego is... 

This weekend we had large amounts of very cold wind small amounts of snow.  However, that "little bit of snow" created some huge drifts around the yard.  There is a three foot drift out front of the house, and a four foot drift off to the side.  I went out this morning to snap a few photos.  According to my bladder's reaction whilst outside, it's still very cold out there...

Local schools are closed, as I assumed they would be.  Getting to the side roads to clear them out yesterday would have been nigh on impossible for the road crews. 

Last I knew my poor cousin was stuck in Detroit due to the weather.  (He lives in Wisconsin and was travelling to Virginia for work.)  I hope he got to where he was going.  When I traveled for work, I always felt trapped and claustrophobic when delayed in airports, especially if they were relatively close to home and you knew you could rent a car and DRIVE home faster than waiting for your connecting flight.

February 15, 2008 - Yesterday while I was spreading love at work by passing out my Valentine cards and while I was upstairs in the mezzanine near the bank of windows facing east, I was paralyzed by the beauty of the sunrise.  Seriously, did you all see that sunrise yesterday?  I am 47 years on this earth, and never have I seen a sunrise like I saw yesterday.  I couldn't move it was so awesome.  Sigh.  All I could picture was God in heaven hanging around with His angel friends playing cards when the angels start taunting God, "Gee, God, what cool thing have You done lately?..." and then the angels continue to razz God about stuff and He finally says, "Shut up and watch this!" He snaps his fingers, and the most awesome sunrise on earth EVER happens, and the angels all say, "Whoa - cool!" and He turns to them and says, "There, take that!  Now shut up and deal the cards..."  Yep, that's what had to have happened yesterday morning.

February 21, 2008 - A picture of my youngest and one of his best friends.  This is their new official band uniform - tux for the guys and the dresses for the girls.  I think they looked smashing at the pre-festival concert on Tuesday night.  My youngest has my poofy curly hair.  He has grown it longer into an "Aarfro" as he calls it...(his name is Aaron so he named his hair style after himself.)  You can't tell in this picture, but the new bands on his braces are fluorescent green.  Oy!   Kids!  Although if I had a choice on colors on my braces and if I had ever had braces, I would go with something very bright and LOUD in color...so I don't blame the little booger.  He was my eclipse watching buddy last night.  We went out every 20 minutes or so to check up on the progress.  The moon turned a reddish brown as the shadow of earth covered it up.  I tried to take pictures, but being so cold and me being so shaky, it looked like I was filming an oncoming car on a dark desert highway whilst running down a slip 'n slide after drinking an excessive amount of coffee.  I would need a 'real' camera for that sort of shot.  As the planes flew high over head, I wondered if they could see it better than we could and if the people on the plane were all fighting to get a window seat on the moon side, pitching the plane to one side or the other and irritating the pilots. 

Work has been so busy, but I'm learning so much that the days fly by.  I think learning is a key thing in life and should never stop.  I think after I retire (hahaha-assuming I someday get to do that) I will volunteer a lot so I keep learning.  I pity people who think they have life all figured out and that they are in any way, shape, or form better than another human.  Those people are missing out on so much. 

There have been so many deer crossing our back lot that it looks like we have a deer convention center back there.  Now not only do the deer taunt the dogs, but there are a ton of rabbits all over suddenly.  Maybe they were there all along and I just noticed them?   They make odd clicking noises as they talk to each and romp about.  They found the pile of bird food near a bush out back and have taken it upon themselves to eat up the left overs.  You can also hear coyotes yapping in the distance.  Standing outside at night here while observing the stars is a rich experience.  You all will have to assume that when I am older and wander off it's because I heard something at night and went to chase it down.  (Adding that statement to assist the search parties when the time comes...)

February 25, 2008 - Another week.  I am thankful for that.  I will complain about my work load (at work) and I will complain about the stinky cat box at home and I will complain that my youngest doesn't put out much effort on his homework, but I am thankful for a whole new week in which to have things to complain about...

My daughter was in her first car accident on Friday.  She called me at work (while they were waiting for the police to come) and she was crying.  I don't blame her.  I would cry too.  "I didn't even have time to swear or anything!" she sobbed.   She was waiting to turn left and someone rear ended her.  That pushed her car into the person in front of her.  When the policeman came, he made sure that both my daughter and the jeep she hit were able to drive safely, then sent them on their way and started to make out a ticket for the girl who hit my daughter.  My husband went up to check out her car afterwards and calm her down a bit.  He took her to lunch as well.   In the afternoon, my daughter brought her car out to the house and my oldest son and Dad fixed the hood of her car which was bent up pretty good.  The back bumper has a nice chunk out of it as well.  At least everyone was OK and the damage doesn't stop the use of the car. 

Tonight is 'Girl's Night Out' with my high school buddies.  We get together one every three months or so for dinner.  We laugh a lot.  I look forward to that.  We also have a winter storm watch out for late tonight.  More snow.  Go figure - snow in Michigan?  Who would have thunk?

March 6, 2008 - I fell asleep in my Lazy Boy chair last night and never made it into an actual bed.  I woke up at four a.m. realizing my uvula felt like a cat scratching post in a cat orphanage with only one scratching post and lots of cats with pent up scratching issues.  I must have been snoring very loud and hard.  The living room was void of any critters and normally I have quite the entourage around me when I sleep, so I am pretty sure I was making enough noise that they ran upstairs in fear.   After going to the bathroom then drinking a cup of water to soothe my poor snore torn throat, I stood at the kitchen sink in a "just-woke-up-where-the-heck-am-I" daze trying to decide if I would go back to bed for an hour or so or stay up when I happened to glance down at the bottle of dish soap.  Proudly it declared on a bright orange sticker at the top of the bottle, "Eliminates UNSEEN food residue!"  

I cocked my head to the right and immediately thought to myself, "If you can't see the residue it in the first place, how do you know if this stuff works?  My dogs eliminate unseen food residue, too, if you set your plate on the floor..." By then I decided I would stay up for the day because if I had gone back to bed, I would have been in there thinking about that statement being such an obvious play to capitalize off of the human tendency toward being paranoid about such things as "unseen food" and "unseen dust mites" that eat your "unseen eye residue" that I would have never gone back to sleep.   Sigh.

Coming home last night I saw four Sandhill Cranes in the field across the road.  Already?!  The Sandhills didn't leave until late December so they must have only flown down to Indiana and hung around a McDonald's parking lot or something to be be back already.  You can also hear herds of red winged blackbirds in the woods to our west and turkeys as well.  Down the road there were two swans and a ton of geese.  If there is a pandemic of bird flu, I'm screwed.  The skunks are out and about sharing their essence as well.  There are deer everywhere.  If I stand outside with the dogs at night I can see rabbits and deer and hear all sorts of critters and birds in the woods and it's times like those that I wish I had 'Snow White' super powers to direct all that wild life into my house to clean said house as was done in the movie. 

Last weekend my husband and I spent the weekend in a hotel for our anniversary.  It was a very relaxing weekend.  The room had a jacuzzi tub and I played in it a lot.  We have very hard rusty water at the house, so a weekend with 'real' water and also highly chlorinated water made my hair very soft and my skin very soft .  The kids got us a gift card to Red Lobster so we ate there.  I love crab.  Don't get near me when I'm eating my crab legs or you'll lose a finger.  I always have a goal to crack open the crab legs and pull out the meat intact without using the tiny fork thingy...I get quite involved with the crab leg eating process and forget anyone else in the world exists. 

You know those arm rest covers on chairs and couches?  I used to hate those when I was cleaning the house as I grew up.   For years after moving out on my own, I would NEVER use those things because they were evil.  My Mom had arm chair holder thingys that you sort of screwed in through the cloth to keep them on the chairs.  Now I know why!  When we got the new Lazy Boys they came with arm chair covers, of course, and now I find it's my personal goal to keep track of those things and keep them on the chairs.  The dogs drag them off when they get up and down and so do the family members.  When I woke up this morning I had one statically charged and stuck to my butt.  They have come up missing for days then suddenly reappeared out of no where...  Arm chair covers are just plain evil and they baffle me.  However, I do have that goal to keep them in place and I am committed to it or should be committed, it could go either way, and there is on turning back.  I can see it now...we have a house fire and I scream at the kids, "Grab the photo albums and the arm chair covers and RUN...!!" 

Our new Japanese bosses sent us the company magazine, and in the back there was a "birthday number" section that tells you what your color of the month is and what type of personality you have, etc.   I don't believe in horoscope type things, but the running theme to mine over the years has been that I'm artistic, funny, and other wonderful things, but then it always ends with something like "However - YOU'RE GULLIBLE."  I never thought that to be true, to be honest, until it finally dawned on me that it is.  I am gullible.  Took me 47 years to finally admit the truth, but I have to admit it.   My brain had apparently been pondering this issue in the back of itself for some time while I went on with more important things such as breathing and living and the like.   Finally, after it had analyzed the issue to the fullest of it's capacity, my brain shoved this little gem of info forward to the front one day.  "Yep, we're damned gullible!" it announced.  Then it played all the remembered instances of being gullible for me as proof.  "Wow, I'm right!  I am gullible!"   Growing up never stops. 

March 11, 2008 - So I'm sick with bronchitis and sinus infection.  I started drugs today to cure this issue.  I threw in the towel today at work and finally called my doctor's office.  "I give up!" I declared, "I know when I have an issue, and I have an issue."  Funny how the older you get you learn to read the signs your body sends you, such as the inability to breath through your nose while your teeth pulse with pain which I know is a sure sign of a sinus infection.  Shortness of breath followed by lots of violently expelled phlegm from a coughing fit indirectly causing a bladder leak is a sure sign of bronchitis.  When I go to the doctor, I prefer to have more than one ailment to 'save' money as it were.  I want to get my money's worth.  My body tries to condense it's illnesses.  "Yeah, I lost my right foot last week in a combine accident, I can't breath from bronchitis, I lost the sight in my left eye after a bird flew into it at a high rate of speed, and I also ran out of my Allegra prescription if you would be so kind to give me another one..."

Have you ever known you were sick but kept going and going out of human nature, but when the doctor tells you that you are actually sick, you suddenly feel worse?  That happened to me after I got back to work.  I took my steroidal anti inflammatory pills with lunch as I was told to help reduce the facial swelling.  The doctor said I would feel better in several hours (face pressure wise) and she was correct, but it also meant that the floodgates opened wide to the lava like flow of snot.  Suddenly it was dripping out of my nose without permission, then flash flooding out my nose and down the back of my throat causing coughing spasms.  All in all, it was a moist afternoon.  I finally came home at four once I was unable to keep up the mucus removal on my monitor.

Tonight my son and I are watching an older show with Carl Sagan about this solar system's planets.  We were quite fascinated with the amount of satellites the world community has launched into space since the 1960s.   My first thought was, "Dang, if we had all that fuel NOW that they used on all those launches, gas would be .85 cents a gallon!" 

My son meandered upstairs I was flipping through the channels and found the NASA station, where they have a live camera feed into the Johnson Command Center for the shuttle up at the international space station.   There was no sound (I thought) and after playing with the volume button, I decided I didn't care if there was sound, I was sick, after all - so I just watched the 20 or so people in the Center fidget around and look at the tons of computer screens.  You could see them talking, but if it was to each other or to the Endeavor crew, who knew?   Like I said, I was sick and just staring at the TV to have something to stare at.   I started to wonder if they could have coffee at their work stations and how often they got potty breaks.  All of a sudden, someone "phoned home" and the volume was up so high due to my goofing around with the remote that it was a shock.   Both of the big dogs flew off the couch as if someone had kicked them and the cats went running in a panic into the bedroom.  I jumped as well, and fumbled with the remote to turn the sound DOWN.  Hahahaha.  There was periodic sound after all!   It took a whole five minutes before the critters would return to the living room.  

In the mean time I heard conversations between Houston and several people on the space station as they inspected the heat shielding with a camera mounted on an external grappling hook.  I could tell that is what they were doing, although the video feed looked as if they were pointed directly at my son's closet and this is what I heard... "Houston, we're at step 31 and getting readings of .88 which is outside the limits.."  "Copy that, Endeavor, we see that and advise you continue to 32..." "Copy that, continuing to 32..."   "We need you to set the whosawhats to calibrate with the thingamabob to 815SS .9256 to the third power and then some..."  The jargon got quite technical and I had no clue what they were talking about, most likely the reason I was watching it instead of sitting in the control center myself.  I was interested in the fact that they just said "copy that" and not "roger, over" anymore.  I would have been saying, "Copy that, Over" or "Roger That, Over" so I would have looked quite silly had I been working in the JCC that night.  I wonder if the space program had to stop using "roger" because a lot of Roger's were now astronauts?   I will have to look that up...

When there was a period of silence on the screen now, no doubt the guy who lost the straw pull that night before the shift started had to comment on what we people were watching on the cable feed.  He didn't sound like he enjoyed that, but he did it.  He also was quite technical in his descriptions and it completely lost me.  (He was probably just reading the ingredients off the side of his candy bar wrapper for all we knew...)  I finally gave up and decided it was time to go to bed.  Watching an external robotic grappling arm with a camera mounted on it looking for damage to thermal shielding isn't as exciting as I thought it would be.

March 16, 2008 - Last evening, standing outside with the dogs, I was frozen with the cacophony of bird sounds.  I mean, there were swans and the redwinged blackbirds and sandhill cranes and geese and ducks and robins and...seriously, it 'froze' me in one spot as I was trying to separate all the different calls.  It gave me a weird but good, peaceful feeling...the feeling I get when I go to the beach.  Life was put in perspective - suddenly I saw how small I was in the bigger picture of things.  Those birds would carry on just fine had I not been listening, there were so many of them calling and talking to each other.  Just as the universe would go on without earth or the moon and ...

Anyway, it was just a weird but awesome feeling.  As I stood there in a paralyzed amazed state, the dogs seemed to understand what was happening to me and flanked me on each side and sat there.  "Ah, look!   She's having a moment...we'll leave her alone to try to comprehend it all...!" Kia said to Jake.  "She's seeing things on a whole new level, 'tis true.   Hey, you gonna eat that stick?" Jake replied.

The weekend has been a combination of lazy yet productive.  I got some things done I wanted to do for a while, yet there was no rush about it and I even took a nap yesterday.  My youngest son waited until this weekend to start working on a big project that is due Monday.  I wasn't going to bail him out this time, so I let him have the computer to do his work and it was his big brother who pestered him from the background, lecturing him on "putting stuff off" and "how long did you know about this project?' and the like.  I even made my son use his own money to buy the supplies for the project that he needed, since he had known about it for 3 weeks.  "Time's up, Dude - you waited - you pay!"   I announced.  I did get to wax poetic about some of the stories my Mom told me about the depression, and he was forced to listen.  He had a very good working knowledge of that time period when I would say, "Do you know what that means?" and he did know, and explained it back to me.  I offered to take him over to see Aunt Jean and Uncle Lorin, who lived through it themselves, but he was "good" he said. 

At 3:30 a.m., I woke up this morning because of the smell of bacon.  My husband is a third shifter, so even on his days off he has odd sleep patterns, and made himself breakfast at 3 or so.  He didn't have bacon, he had Smoky Links, but they were still "hickory smoked" and what I woke up to "BACON!"  I responded to the smell like those dogs on the 'Snausages' commercials.  After I scurried down the bunk bed ladder, and after I got rid of the previous night's water intake, I started laughing at myself.  "I think you could wake me up from a dead faint if you waved bacon under my nose!"  The smoky smell of hickory is a very comforting smell, actually.  I find the smell of smoke houses or wood burning whilst driving down the road a 'homey' smell.  Must be genetic memory from my pioneer and/or primitive ancestors.  I ended up making myself a pot of coffee and staying awake for the morning.  There is a nap in my immediate future, I'm pretty sure.

March 24, 2008 - We had a foot of snow in a 24 hour period starting on Friday and going until Saturday a.m.  It came down fast and furious.  Winter's last hurrah, I hope.  This is the first time all winter that the weather reports were accurate.   I had Friday off from work so my husband took me to breakfast Friday.  We also went shopping and when we came out of the grocery store, it was coming down in a pelting sort of way.  (He went grocery shopping with me only because I said I had to get a "few things" which of course in Sandy-speak means half a truck bed full of groceries.)  As we fished tailed our way home in the slushy snow, I had called and left a voice mail for my daughter who I knew was getting ready to go to work, to warned her about the road conditions.  I was a worried Mom.

My youngest had wanted to stay after school Friday and I told him I would pick him up, but I rethought that promise with the roads being so bad, knowing I wouldn't get out in this crap even for my own kid, so I left him a message on his phone to COME HOME ON THE BUS.  I also stated that if school let out early COME HOME ON THE BUS.  Of course, he claims he had his phone off (as you are supposed to do during school) and didn't check his messages until way after the busses were gone.  I had to go get him.  I went very slow and got to the school and picked up my little bush headed cherub.  His friend Kenny came up to the car and asked if my son could spend the night.  I tell you what, I can't say no to Kenny.   Kenny has a face that would melt any Mom's heart and I'm glad I'm not his Mom.   (Of course it's easier to say no when it's your own kid, as I've learned over the years, so your own children learn early on which of their friends can get through your steel parental facade.  They employ those friends with great skill.)  So there is Kenny in my window asking if my son could spend the night ("Pleaseeeeeee?") and I finally agreed.  I am surprised I didn't open up my wallet and give Kenny all my money and the keys to my car as well.

So I agreed to haul my son to Kenny's house in the winter storm (after he came home first and did his chores and fed the dogs, etc.)  Duh.  I made my husband go with me because what wife wouldn't force her husband to partake in her bad decision?  We immediately got stuck in the drive way.   (I had the brilliant idea at that moment to test the theory that you should 'turn in to a skid' while I was in my own drive way, but the snow was so wet and sucky that it pulled me clean over almost into the trees.)  The boys had to push me out.  My husband was convinced we would be sucked off the side of the road at any second given the winter conditions and voiced this every time the snow pulled us one way or another.   We were almost to Kenny's house out in the country when my youngest mentioned that he didn't think I would actually TAKE him to Kenny's.  "I mean, come on Mom, you didn't have to!  You could have said NO!  Look at the roads!  Geez!"  

It's moments like these I'm confused as a parent.  If he didn't expect me to take him, why am I risking life and limb?  He could have told me, "Mom, you don't have to take me" but he didn't.   Really, I was quite confused.  (Although he admits later he didn't know how bad the roads were until we were sliding all over them.  A 15 year old non-driver has no clue to road conditions just by eyeing up the situation, so it seems.)  Plus, why did I agree to take him in the first place?  I knew the roads were dangerous, so why?  

We got the wee one to Kenny's house (I refused to pull in to Kenny's drive way...I dropped my son off in the middle of the road...I have been known to get stuck in Kenny's driveway on occasion...) and got home safely.  "What were you thinking?" my husband said upon our safe arrival home.  "I have no clue, my dear...no clue at all..." 

I have a vacation day today.  I had over 56 hours to use up before May 11th and I'm trying like heck to use them all up.   I have taken a Friday off here and a Monday off there up until May.  I already had a week off scheduled in April when my BFF comes up from Florida.  I worked last week to train my co-worker to be 'me' while I'm off, but we only scratched the surface.   I didn't realize there was so much of 'me' to teach a person!  This will take a while... I have amassed a great deal of knowledge that needs to be 'given' away to other people.  Sigh.

I have also noticed that if my family knows I'm on vacation at all, they tend to slack off...forget to do their normal chores.   I think it's a subliminal sort of thing - not done intentionally.  I think they all have in the back of their minds a little voice saying, "Oh, Mom is home, she'll do it..." Seriously, though, they don't do it with malice or intent.  It just happens.   I may not be able to say 'no' to Kenny, but I can tell my family to get off their butts and do their appointed duties;  I have not problem with that at all.  : )

April 1, 2008 - Auntie Em!  Auntie Em!  April is coming in like a lion!   Wind gusts today up to 50 miles per hour.  I was outside looking for Stewie the Cat and heard the old weeping willow tree emit a loud 'CRACKKKKKkkkk' so I decided Stewie was on his own and I came in the house.  That poor tree has taken a beating ever since last May when we lost the roof and had that "non" tornado that downed trees and power lines, etc.  I love that weeping willow, or what is left of her.   Sigh.  She won't fair well today with the high winds. 

We were without power for several hours last night when the winds started up a bit.  I assume a branch came down on a set of power lines.  Today will be no better since the winds are kicking butt and taking names.  Herby Curby has already migrated out to the back sheds where it's wedged and I think that's a fine spot to keep it until the winds are over.  We had just finished supper and were going to start dishes last night when the power went out.  Since we're in the 'country' and are on well water, doing dishes during a power outage is a no-no, so my son and I played with the dogs for a while.  My husband slept in his Lazy Boy, and I can't see how anyone can sleep with all the noise my son and dogs were making.  PLUS when we were not noisy, it was completely QUIET and I can't sleep in QUIET.  I have to have 'white' noise...but he did pretty good snoozing. 

After the thrill of chasing a ball and dogs around ran it's course, and due to the fact we couldn't see the ball anymore, we quit and did our own 'things'...my son watched a movie on his Zune and I cleaned.  I figured you really don't need light to clean some things such as mirrors and dusting furniture, so I used the 'force' and washed a few mirrors and folded a load of clothes that had just finished up before the power died, and dusted.  I also dusted my pretty pretty shelves and organized the pots and pans cupboard.  I was running out of things I could clean in Braille just when the power came on.  I made my youngest help me with dishes right away.  I am a bit OCD when it comes to dirty dishes and bad weather.  Apparently something deep within me feels that even if there is a tornado or bad thunder storm or I'm sure even if it was Armageddon, I'm must shuffle off this mortal coil with clean dishes. 

My son leaves next week for spring break in Texas with the High School band.  I am actually glad they are not flying over oceans and the like to get there.  They are taking motor coaches there and back.   They will be on the bus for 24+ hours, stopping only for food and poop sessions.   The itinerary looks packed full of fun, so I'm sure he'll have a hoot.  Watch out Alamo, you are being invaded again!

April 8, 2008 - The wee one is outbound for his safari in Texas.  I received a text message from him last night at 10:31 in response to my text of "how is the bus ride going so far?"   He typed back, "Fantasticle!"  I doubt he'll be saying that today around noon after being on the bus for 24 hours.  They made if very clear that the kids shouldn't poop in the bathroom on the buses.  I imagine it would be pretty stinky if 40 kids were all crappin' on the bus.  Ah, the little things in life...

Speaking of poop...I was reading at Yahoo news about people throwing their dogs doo doo in the garbage and that goes to landfills and then breaks down into methane, hence global warming and all.  I sighed.  I do that.  I pitch poop in my Herby Curby.  (Dog pooh that is, I keep mine in the toilet like a good girl!)  I am not sure what else to do with it.  I mean, we all poop and it has to go somewhere.  The article said some people have taken to flushing dog pooh down their toilet instead.  I guess I could do that as well, collect and flush the piles of glacier melting doggie dung...

I just get discouraged - all things on this planet are like little parasites causing some form of inflammation or damage to the earth.  Even if humans had not had the whole industrial revolution thing and contaminated the ozone layer with our filth from raping the earth of all her fossil fuels, the buffalo dung and animal pooh in general would have eventually lead to disaster on it's own apparently.  Damned if we do, damned if we don't....

I joined the site Weight Commander for support this weekend.   I have been eating too much and too often and I'm not losing weight.  I needed help.  I keep hoping they will get Weight Watchers back in at work, and apparently the HR person says they are working on it - but until then - I needed outside support.   My issue comes after 9 p.m. when I'm watching a TV show and mindlessly eating.   When we were members of WW, I was going to bed at 9 p.m.  Now I remember WHY.   Not only does a body need a good night's sleep, it keeps you out of the kitchen!   Staying out of the kitchen is a good thing, especially if you tend to suck up everything not nailed down while you are in there.  I still try to think of the excess fat as 'evil' - because it is.  It controls me and I let it.  Sigh.   I'm such a push over.  As my husband says, "...but food is so GOOD!"   Alas, it is, but since we both forgot to go to moderation classes, we must stop and analyze our eating habits.  A very hard thing to do. 

My sister's birthday is today!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER-O-MINE!  She is 56 years old.  Funny how as we get older the 'older' numbers are not so 'old' anymore.  Turning 56 in my mind NOW is how I felt about turning 25 back when I was 18.  Age is relative.  As long as we're still breathing and able to tie our own shoes - baby ,we got it made!

April 18, 2008 - My wee one arrived home from San Antonio in the wee hours of Monday morning.  Two motor coaches full of kids who looked like they just spent 27 hours on a bus poured out.  They were several hours late because one of the coaches blew a tire just outside of Texas. 

After my oldest and I got him home, he told us a Reader's Digest version of his trip and by 4 a.m. he was in bed.  I woke him up at 6:30 a.m. to get ready for school.  He was exhausted.  He lived through Monday but once he was home he slept from 3:00 Monday until 5:30 a.m. Tuesday.   Poor kid.  He had a hoot, however.  He rode roller coasters for the first time.  He hate heights, but he rode them and had fun.  Everyone should experience at least one roller coaster. 

He ended up taking naps after school every day of this week except today.  Today he has some friends over for a while.  I think he's fully recovered from Texas.  He's quite upset that I have yet to get his film developed.  Oh well.  As his big brother said, "Get a Job!    Then you can get your film developed when you want!" 

Today is the first day of my vacation, and I got my refrigerator freezer defrosted and the normal freezer defrosted.  I feel like I accomplished something.  Might be the only thing I do get done in a week, but hey - it's something. 

April 19, 2008 - I was thinking at 5:30 this morning that my first day of vacation was marvelous, so stress free.  I was thinking that it felt like I had been on vacation a whole week in just one day, I felt so good.  Then I logged on to work this morning to do some upgrades to our mainframe, since no one was working this weekend, and while I was doing those, read my email - and suddenly felt like crap again.  I guess I'll just have to stay clean away from anything related to work as best I can if this is to be a restorative vacation.  Sigh.

April 20, 2008 - I spent another lazy day doing absolutely nothing.  The windows are all open as it's 71 degrees out!  Almost like summer!  There was a red bellied woodpecker at my feeder this morning.  I have never seen one so close.  The reddish orange color of the head was fascinating.  I couldn't stop staring.  When I finally got my wits about me to get a camera, the little booger flew off.   My daughter spent the night last night after work and ate dinner with us then goofed with her brother.   I tried to braid her hair, but I am horrible at 'girl 'stuff so I failed miserably.   Her hair looked exactly the same this morning as it did last night before she went to bed!  hahaha.

April 21, 2008 - I actually read the paper front to back this morning!  WHOO HOO.   I have not done that forever!  I know that doesn't sound like much, but for me - it is!  I mean, a whole block of time to read a paper in the quiet.  Awesome.   It's the little things...seriously.

I also cleaned out my Herby Curby which was quite Stinky Winky.  We've had the same garbage can thingy since we've moved here, I swear.  She's old and scarred but still functions.  The company who's name is on the side has long since been bought and sold - several times, but she keeps on taking our junk, and now she is pine fresh for a day. 

I put up my hummingbird feeder this morning as well, as it's time for the males to be coming up.  I checked out hummingbird.net to be sure - and there have been sightings in Michigan already.  I also put out my bird bath and cleaned out the recycling tubs.  (Anything where I can play with the hose.)  Tonight I will be seeing good friends from High School and my BFF is up from Florida.  I can't wait.

My daughter has exams this week, and she's nervous and excited all in one.  Nervous because of the tests, yes - excited because this is the last week of her sophomore year of college!  I can't believe it.   Sigh.  We are due to do something this week as  "Mom and Daughter" type outing.  It will be fun.  She wants me to go to Noodles & Company.  She knows a Mom sometimes needs noodles. 

April 22, 2008 - What a marvelous night last night!  I had dinner with BFF Vickie and Sue and Dawn and Deb and Grace and Kathy and Mom and Dad Stolarz.  What a hoot!   A night of nothing but laughter and good friends and good food!   After we left the restaurant we talked in the parking lot forever.  Wonderful night...contented sigh.

We had a power surge yesterday, and my husband never bothered to reset his alarm clock near his bunk bed.  The doggies bunk in his bed at night until my oldest gets home as I go up to my bunk bed and of course they've yet to learn to use the ladder.  Kia was crying last night.  It was a scared crying - so I reached down to pet her head.  She was restless.  I wondered if there was a fire or something.  She cries like that when there is thunder, but it was stormless last night.  I eventually did check to see what she was upset about, and turns out it was the flashing '12:00' on the alarm clock!  Hahaha.   She was upset at that bright light doing things it shouldn't.   At least I know I'm protected from evil alarm clocks should a herd of them ever attack!

Today my daughter is taking me to lunch, and hopefully we can walk and talk for a while.  I miss my baby.

April 27, 2008 - Vacation is technically over.  I did absolutely NOTHING yesterday.   I just lounged.  Literally.  The only thing missing were cabana boys to wait on me hand and foot.  Other than that, I vegged and it was kind of nice.   However, a house full of left over junk food was not nice.  My son had friends over Friday night, so there was plenty left over begging to be eaten.  Sigh.  I will hate weighing in tomorrow.  It won't be pretty.

Lunch day with my daughter was a hoot.   We ate at Noodles and Co., and it was delicious.  Thursday night we went and got our hair cut and played with.  This was her last official week as a sophomore in college, so getting our hair 'done' was a celebration. 

Today my friend Grace is having a get together for her son George for his first Holy Communion.  I will drop by there and then swing around to get groceries, I think.  I live life on the edge.  (The get together was marvelous - I love that family.  Food - delicious as always!)

Friday night it looked as if we would get bad storms from Wisconsin.  The weather channels showed a line of thunder storms heading over the lake our way.  I got paranoid.  Next month will be the year anniversary of the storm that ripped up our roof.  So "in case" of more big storms, I went outside and took photos of my house from all sides.  I also took pictures of the 'Walk of Sheds' in case one of them blew away.  Nothing happened of course, but I had pictures in case.  Once bitten....

My kids got me a subscription to "Sky and Telescope" for Mother's Day.  A bit early, but very welcome nonetheless since I had told them that is what I wanted.  Now all I need is a telescope....maybe next Mother's Day?  (Hint Hint)

This morning I was thinking to myself, "I wonder where 5-o-clock Charlie has been..."  (That is the German short hair dog that lives at the farm house behind us.  He used to make regular visits to all of our houses in a running spastic arc at the same time every day, and normally you would see the owners in hot pursuit in their car.  Charlie has an invisible fence that is apparently REALLY invisible.)  Anyhow - I have not seen him in ages, and wondered if they finally got rid of him or he met a car head on over the winter... not that I was wishing bad things on old Charlie, mind you.   I had my son take our Herby Curby to the road since tomorrow a.m. is garbage pick up.  We always take the garbage to the road the night before.  After that I kept hearing people beeping their horns and I was thinking that people on this street were sure being neighborly.  Duh.   They were honking their horns because GUESS WHO was taking a bath in our garbage.   I happened to look out to see 5-o-clock Charlie wallowing in a bag of two he had managed to drag out of the container.  I chased him away once, picked up the garbage and watched as he ran back home.  It wasn't a half hour later and that dog was back basking in the glow that is my trash.  I had my son bring the container back up after cleaning up.  Sigh.  Never a dull moment at my house.  I blame myself as I was the one who just HAD to go and THINK of the stupid dog!

April 28, 2008 - Well, this is a fine thing.  I had a week off from work and had cramps the whole time - gearing up for a monthly that would make any woman proud, but nothing happened.  Then suddenly this morning, TA DAH!  I AM A WOMAN!   Cripes.  It couldn't have taken place last week, NO.  It had to happen the morning I go back to work!  Oy and Sigh.  My Monday Morning weigh it will be up a few pounds due to water weight, and I guess that's fine...I mean, I'll eventually pee it all out so no big whoop.

I notice some things irritate me more when I'm due for a monthly, such as when young son uses his Water Pik on his braces and blows food chunks all over the bathroom sink and mirror.  Normally I find this, well...NORMAL I guess, but on days like these, I picture holding his head in the line of a fire hose screaming, "You want a Water Pik?  I got yer Water Pik!" 

I have learned to control my outbursts as a woman, reasoning with myself that it's all due to circumstances beyond my control and all and I have gotten quite good and curtailing the roller coaster mental gymnastics that can bless us females at this time of the month.  However, there are times when even the most blessed and focused female on earth who knows well and good why she's feeling the way she's feeling still wants to wrap all the sleeping males in the house in toilet paper like mummies because they can't seem to hit the toilet when peeing. 

Sigh.  Speaking of toilet paper, NO ONE EVER CHANGES THE ROLL!  They will leave a tiny shard on the tube just to say, "There was some still on it when I used it last!"  Arghhhhhhhhhh.   It's those little things one normally takes into stride on a daily basis that seem to get blown out of proportion.  I think it will be wise tonight once I get home from work to just make dinner then go outside and pick up sticks.  Less people will get hurt that way, but I pity the sticks...

May 5, 2008 - Ah, May.  The month of green grass and pretty flowers.  I am on vacation today and tomorrow AGAIN to use up the last of my days.  I have no big plans.  I will just veg out.  I was hoping to have our Economic Stimulus money by now so I could buy some flats of flowers, but alas, we've yet to receive it.  Odd how humans criticize things and complain about things, but then when we don't get it, we bitch as well.

Over the weekend we had a visitor - a neighbor's dog named Taz.   A sweet female doggie that was very well behaved and very friendly, but she had escaped the confines of her back yard fence and had taken it upon herself to live life to it's fullest and roll in any pile of any type of stinky thing.  She was covered in, well, crap.  Every time I would go outside in the morning on Saturday, she would come up being very social and lead me to the back yard.  Finally, since I was so dense I didn't realize what she was trying to tell me, she pawed at one of our back trees and looked up.   She was quite proud.  She had treed Stewart!  I laughed out loud, as Stewart was WAY up in a tiny little "Y" shaped branch holding on for dear life with his fat belly hanging over the "Y" part.  Taz was very very proud she had treed the kitty, and Stewart was very content to stay up in that tree while Taz was down below.  I had never met Taz before, but she presented herself with confidence and acceptance of all things EXCEPT cats. 

Later in the day a very frustrated young woman came to our house looking for her dog.  I met a new neighbor!  She mentioned she had a dog that jumped the fence.  A friend had been watching Taz for them as they were out west on vacation.  (They also got married in Las Vegas while they were there!)  She said she got a phone call while they were at O'Hare airport from the friend saying that Taz was GONE.  The friend felt very badly about this.   I told her Taz had been here and treed Stewart and I had taken pictures, and I had no clue where the dog was now.  However, as soon as the lady drove away to look for Taz on the next street, here came Taz.  My husband ran inside and got a leash and we hooked her up and stuck her in my car so I could follow the poor woman and let her know we had Taz.  Just then the woman was coming back down our street and I flagged her down.   The reunion was stinky but sweet.  That was the big excitement for my weekend!   (Oh, and Stewart did eventually come down once I brought my oldest son outside to coax him.  I think he thought a big male was protection enough from a dog, and he made his way down the tree ever so slowly to my son's reach.  He wouldn't come down to me alone!) 

I usually set up my coffee at night after I make my husband's batch (as he's on third shift) so in the morning all I have to do is flip the switch and I have a pot of coffee in no time.  This morning I flipped the switch and went about my morning business and came back later to get a cup, and I had a nice pot of hot water.  I had forgotten to add the coffee.  DUH!  I started over...

May 6, 2008 - OK, this is very funny (to me) - our local TV station has weather posted, of course, like any good local TV station would, and this is what it has said about our area for the last 18 hours... notice that the current temperature in Southwest lower Michigan is 95 degrees.  HAHAHAHA.   I'm sorry, I find this very humorous.  ("Boy, and they talk about global warming, man - they were RIGHT!")  It's 46 degrees here in my little chunk of the woods this morning, and the high will be nigh on 74 degrees today. 

On Tuesday and Thursday my youngest has to go in early for jazz band.  I take him in without getting 'ready' per say - I mean, I have on my jammie pants and whatever top I was wearing and I don't even think to comb my hair, I just get in the car and take the boy in.  This morning on the way back home I was going 35 down a 25 mph street, and noticed the local police sitting at a baseball field.  I slowed down like a good girl and was not pulled over, but I did look in the rearview and saw what I looked like!  Oh My!  Had the officer had pulled me over for doing 10 miles over, he would have immediately thought a homeless person who was down on their luck had stolen a car.  My hair was sticking straight up and out in no discernable pattern.  I looked down to see my one pant leg was up to my knee on my sweat pants and the other was practically covering my over sized slipper on that side.   The old T-shirt I was wearing had a sleeve on the right and none on the left.   (I remember I had started to cut that old shirt down to be sleeveless for outside mowing, but apparently forgot what I was doing before finishing.)  It wasn't pretty.   I will have to at least comb my hair in the morning next time. 

May 7, 2008 - The inside of the house is covered in a thin layer of field dust.  They finished plowing the field across the road last night.  There is grit everywhere.  DUST BOWL type grit.  I am not complaining, however.  At least the field is being plowed for corn or what ever they happen to plant and not being built up with houses.   I dread that.  I don't want the field across the road to ever be sold and built up.  That is where all the cool wildlife lives around here, back in those woods and they entertain me in that field.  Sigh.  I'll take three days worth of dusting to suburban sprawl any day.

Yesterday was the last of my vacation days for a while.  I roll over again on May 11th and get another five weeks.  I didn't do anything exciting on vacation but I was not at work, so in a way that is exciting.  I took one heck of a nap, boy howdy.  I can't remember the last time I slept that hard.  Hence the reason, I'm sure, that I'm up at 3:30 this morning.   So far I've gotten several loads of wash done and the dogs are fed already... I dread going back to work yet I don't.  I like to work.  I like what I do.   I just don't like the politics of things sometimes and the PANIC mode that's on most of the time, but all in all I really like my job.  It is, after all, a job - and I am lucky at this point to have one!

One of the cats finally brought me a mole this morning on the stoop.  I made a fuss to all of them and petted them and said, "Good Kitties!" even though I know it wasn't Stewart who did the hunting.   He's just not a hunter.  He gallops loudly when running and thinks that is being 'stealthy'... sigh.  However, I was positive in my attitude and made a mole fuss, pointing to the dead mole and clapping and gushing over all three of their hunting prowess. 

I saw my first hummingbird of the season yesterday - FINALLY!  I was so excited I yelled, which of course scared the hummingbird away, but I saw one!  Later than normal, but then again, it's been a bit colder than normal for early spring.  I changed my sugar water to assure that they had fresh food, and I will remember not to yell in joy when I see the next one.

May 11, 2008 - It was an interesting last few days to say the least.  Work Wednesday - Friday was quite busy and overwhelming and by Friday it felt like I had worked 5 days instead of three.  Sigh.  However, Friday was fun on the 'side' in many ways.  I walked into work serenading Jane who was filling in at the front desk.   I modified "Mandy" to be "Janie" and that started the day long battle between Jane and myself of "songs that stick in your head and drive you nuts that happen to have women's names in them."  Back and forth all day we would 'give' each other songs that would of course stay in your head and run over and over and over again. 

The day was full of songs.  Jane countered with "Delilah" via our message service, and the day went on from there.  I believe we covered "Windy", "Wake up, Little Susie", "Penny Lane", "Lucille","Copacabana" and tons more.  It was funny.  Little blurbs throughout the day that kind of broke up the intensity of the 'overwhelming' part of work.  Jane won, however, because as she was leaving for the day, she came back and personally sang the opening verse of "Hello Dolly."

One of our friends and coworker who had a baby recently brought her wee one in.  Brenda brought in Ethan and he is a cutie.   He has a full head of brown hair and looked so angelic.  I love to see babies, then think to myself afterwards that I am SO GLAD I'm past that part in my life!   Children are a blessing, even more so when they can talk, walk, and support themselves.

Later still Jane's daughter Jess brought in the doggie she rescued - Buddy.  He is a mix of Jack Russell with ... well, we're not sure, but he is a doll.  He really liked  my coworker Doug, and went right to him.  He was scared of the rest of us, however.  (I assume when you are a dog that was probably abused then rescued, you would be a bit leery of humans...at least I would be.)  Buddy would sit, but not really 'sit' as his butt hovered above the floor.  Jess said that is just how he sits.  I was just impress with Buddy's incredible sense of buttocks control and balance.  

Oh, before I forget, my husband called me on Thursday morning.  "Guess what?" he asked in a child like I've done something I'm sure you will hold over my head for years to come kind of voice.   "What?" I asked.  (I was so busy at work and being the ever supporting wife, I had little interest in his call unless he had hit something head on or lost a body part...)  "Well, I took a vacation day for tonight..." he said in a slow drawl (and I am thinking to myself "So?  You have to call me because you are taking a night off?") then continued to say, "...and I bought a motorcycle!" 

After a long pause, I said, "Oh really?" in my best 'you bought an expensive item without consulting me first you rat bastard - can you tell by the tone of my voice I am a bit irked ' voice.  He had bought a Yamaha Stratoliner (or is it a Stratocaster?)  All the guys at his place of work are getting bikes due to high gas prices, and we had talked about my husband getting a bike as well, but I didn't think he'd do it without discussing it, price wise.   My husband has had several motorcycles over the years.  I am not worried he'll get killed.  (After all, he's highly insured and he's a good cyclist.)  I was just stunned he would just 'go and do it' without prior firm discussion.  I told him I was very busy and suggested we talk about the 'new member' of the family after I got home.

Later that day the phone rings again.   I couldn't answer it, so there was a message waiting for me.  Then my cell phone rang.  I didn't answer it, and there was a message beeping in my purse.   Finally I listened to the messages.  My husband was stranded (on his NEW bike) about five miles away.  His new bike just quit working;  it wasn't getting gas.   I laughed out loud when I heard his message.  After calling him back, I told him to call the place he just bought it from and ream them a new one and get them out there.  He wanted me to pull him home with a rope, but I said NO!  "You call them and tell them their NEW motorcycle isn't running and you want them to come get you and you and ..." (Needless to say I went on a bit in a huff.)  Finally he agreed, found the business card from the salesman, and called him.  He called me back to tell me they were coming to pick him and the bike up. 

After continuing to work for a bit, and assuming that he was safe and 'he got himself into this, he can get himself out of it and all'  I decided to go sit with him.  How heartless was I to let my husband sit alone on the side of the road with his non-working new bike?  I got in my car and headed over to where he was.  He seemed happy to see me.  He plopped in the front seat and sighed.  I laughed.  He laughed.  Then he just sighed a lot.

It is a HUGE bike, mind you.  I was thinking it would kill a small child if it fell on them, it's that big.  While we waited, I asked my hubby if he locked the doors at home, and he said, "Well, Yes!   I'm not stupid" so I called my youngest son's cell phone (who was due to get off the bus and has not been carrying a house key lately.)  He answered his cell, and I asked him where he was, and he said, "Home, duh!"  "Are you in the house?" I queried.  "Yeah, why?"  "You don't have a house key, wasn't the door locked?"  "Yeah, the front door was locked, but the back door was wide open..."  I gave the wee one a lecture about carrying a house key from now on then gave my hubby a lecture about locking the back door.  At least the young one was home safe.  He asked where I was.  "Sitting here with your Dad, waiting for someone to come get his new motorcycle that he bought that doesn't work."  I had son on speaker phone.  Young son laughed and hubby rolled his eyes.

I called work to let them know where I was.  After telling Doug where I was and why I was there, he laughed, too.  Hubby said, "I'm glad I can bring such joy to everyone!"  I explained to him it was just plain funny.  "You buy a new bike and you are all hyped up and immediately it doesn't run.  It's like a Catch 22 kind of funny.   People are going to laugh." 

After 20 minutes, and after the humor of it all had drained from my husband completely,  I made him call the bike dealership back to find out where their pick up was.  Apparently they sent out their delivery boy with the truck/trailer from Paw Paw (which is where he got the bike, at Paw Paw Motorcycles, which is a good 1/2 away to begin with) and he got lost.  We waited another 1/2 or so before the kid showed up.  The delivery guy was smaller than my youngest son, and there was no way he could wrangle a bike into a trailer.  My husband pushed it up the ramp for him.

The kid said he'd never driven a truck w/a trailer and a bike on the highway before, and asked how to get back to Paw Paw without taking a major highway.  My husband gave him directions, then looked across the road at me and mouthed, "Will you please take me home?"  I nodded my head and but I laughed even more.

I took the poor guy home, and then I went back to work.  (He had told me on the way home how much the bike cost, and that is when I stopped laughing.  Oy.)  I told everyone that "I got a new motorcycle for Mother's Day!" in a joking kind of way, but I was still a bit miffed over the whole deal.  Sigh.

However, my gift from hubby for mother's day was truly not the motorcycle - it was my own personal telescope!  I was quite thrilled and now it's my turn to laugh and be laughed at, as it's done nothing but rain and be cloudy.  This is my 'Catch 22' thing.  They predict icky weather for a few days.  I won't be able to sight it in until next weekend.  It's computerized and can slew to the star or location I want on it's own, but it has to know where it is first, and currently it will just sit in my living room until I can introduce it to my personal sky.  (I did take it outside after I assembled it yesterday and looked at the trees across the field from us.  I could see the turkeys on the ground doing turkey things and birds in the trees like they were right in front of me!  There was a crow picking meat off of a deer skeleton and I could even see the ribs on that dead deer!!  I looked at the horses in the field out back and saw what brand of trailer was sitting back in the field.  I viewed signs down the road and I could read them clear as a bell - well, besides them being backwards, but still!!  It will be so cool once I can see the Moon up close and personal and the stars and the like!  I really can't wait.)

For Mother's Day, my daughter got me a ton of cool flowers to plant!  I will do this as soon as it stops raining.  It had better stop raining ... I just looked at the weather and it's supposed to be cloudy and rainy all week and next weekend as well.   Arghhhhhh.  I should quit complaining and be thankful that we didn't get those horrible storms they did down south, huh?

My oldest son took us all out to the dinner as well.  It was a wonderful Mother's Day all in all.  I got flowers, a telescope, dinner (and a motorcycle!)  I am a lucky woman and blessed a million times over.  They like me - they really like me!!

May 13, 2008 - I forgot to mention the fact that the only issue with hubby's humongous motorcycle that day was due to the reserve tank not being turned on...I guess they can turn off the flow between the main tank and the reserve tank.  His bike was returned the next day.  Did you know that thing weighs 782 pounds?  782 POUNDS!???  Sigh and Oy.

I took my scope out last night (still light out) and looked at the moon.  How awesome.  Sigh.  Craters - the thing if full of craters!  It was a wondrous site.  It is still very cold at night, so I didn't take her out after dark to align the computer part of it.  Just seeing the moon (and the horses pooping a mile away) was enough for me for now.  I could even focus in on a bunch of dragon flies that were over in that field!  Holy Crap! 

I also got some of my flowers planted last night as well.  I am thinking it won't frost this week - being the positive person that I am - so I took a chance.  (I bet I could walk a mile away with my telescope and see my flowers as if I was really HERE. ) 

May 14, 2008 - I believe STEWART THE CAT actually IS THE ONE bringing me dead moles!  JOY.  I watched him last night under the bird feeder (where the moles will tunnel to eat seeds) and he was vibrating in a seizure type way, almost like Michael Flatley in 'Lord of the Dance' - he was so excited over the ground moving around him.   You could see where the mole was tunneling.  (Even I was vibrating as I wanted to go out there and kill the thing, but I waited and watched Stewie.)  Stewart watched and watched and vibrated more and then he would pounce and dig and struggle with something (I am assuming it was the mole) and then lose it and then settle down until the mole moved more dirt around him, then the whole dance would start again.  This morning on my stoop was another mole as a present.  Sigh.  My little Stewart is growing up.  *Sunrise...Sunset....swiftly flow the years....*

May 21, 2008 - Tonight I decided to finish planting the flowers my daughter gave me for Mother's Day.  I headed out back to tear up some dirt in a spot behind one of the many sheds we have, and hit something hard.  I dug around it and thought I had found a buried broom handle, so I kept digging.  Took me a bit to realize I had hit a root!   We have a willow tree out back, and I've heard they will send roots out quite a distance...but never actually SAW a root 50 feet away from the parent tree!  I started hacking at it and got the length of it out I wanted out and continued digging, but then I found a root as big as someone's arm in thickness.  This one couldn't be hacked out with my little digging tools, so I went for the only ax I knew we had.  (A little one my son had used after last year's storm that was back by the wood pile ... about the only thing it's really good for is stubbing your toe on...not very sharp at all!)

So I'm hacking away thinking, "Cripes, this is gonna take all night!"  Apparently, however, that root went farther than I thought as I soon heard someone letting the dogs out and they came out barking.  Then I heard my husband come out muttering to himself.  (Remember, he's on third shift and should have been sleeping...)  He went to one of our other sheds and came out with a BIG AX and walked up and hacked my root away in no time.   "Next time use the real ax!" he told me, and went back in the house to go back to bed.  As I was walloping on that root, it was vibrating all the way into the bedroom under his bed and woke him up!  Hahaha.   It made me laugh.  (And it's good to know we have a REAL ax!)

The last few days at work have been CRAZY with over load.  By five-o-clock my eyes are shot and I can't see worth crap and my brain is fried.  I tend to play with my hair towards the afternoon if I'm stressed, and I'll eventually put it up in a bun and secure it with a pen or pencil that's handy.   Last Thursday I was doing this as I was trying to work through a new problem and later went to write something down, and my pencil was gone.  "Odd, I just got a new one out!"  After a while more of working I couldn't find THAT pencil.   "Cripes, where are my pencils..."  On the way home I found three of them crammed into the bun in my head!  Oy.  At least I remembered where I parked. 

I think I've officially reached the rank of "perimenopausal" if there is such a word.  Lately my 'cycles' have been non-stop and my mood has been either 'down' but not in a suicidal or weepy way or I'm 'up' so high I'm chatting with geese and poopin' on picnickers.  My beard is also coming in especially lush and BLACK, and over all I have a total 'Maxine' attitude about life.   As I was getting ready for work the other morning, I realized I've reached the age where one can spackle in the bags under one's eyes only so much with makeup and the wrinkles and puff and excess hair are just THERE and that is ME now and I have to just accept it.  Sigh.  A line from one of Billy Joel's songs says, "It's either sadness or euphoria..." and now I know after all these years he was talking about pre-menopausal women. 

Aaron with Grandma after his concert

Last night was my son's spring concert.   My Mother in Law, my daughter and her boyfriend, and friend/'fake' son David were there with me.  There were the two High School jazz bands that played and the concert band and the symphonic band.  Then 'Legends' played - a brass and drum type ensemble from Portage.  Local kids play in it as well, so they come out and showcase themselves at other High Schools.  (My daughter played in 'Legends' when she was in High School and she LOVED it and I LOVED it!)  This group has SOUND that blows you back a few rows.  Happy Sigh.  They did "Jesus Christ Superstar" and I was so thrilled I was hollering.  We didn't get out of the High School until 10:15 p.m., but it was well worth the numb buttocks to hear all that wonderful music!  I am so happy my kids don't run screaming from me from embarrassment when we are at concerts, as I will hoot and shout after excellent selections or cry uncontrollably because I get so worked up over band music.  Music moves me.  We bought raffle tickets and won a handmade blanket,too!  Most wonderful evening it was.

When I got home and got the wee one off to bed, I headed outside to view some stars.  Last night was the first night it wasn't totally cloudy since I got my telescope.  I thought to myself, "Ah, tonight is the night I will be able to set up the old girl!"  I hauled her outside and set her on a level surface.  I turned on the hand held computerized type device thingy and started the process of entering in my location, date and time, and I chose to align it with three stars.  I got one star done, and used the hand held controls to move it to another one.  I sighted that in and entered.  I then 'slewed' it to the next brightest star I could see and I heard the motor come to a slow and grinding halt.   "Bwahmmmmmm...sputter."  I let out a loud 'UG' as I realized my batteries were already dead.  Apparently 'slewing' takes a lot of juice and I had slewed a lot just looking at horses poopin' in the field out back and the deer prancing in the woods across the road.  I also spent a lot of time the other day watching a herd of male turkeys in the woods  - sort of an avian gang - as they were all running around and puffing up and acting all 'manly' like...but I digress. 

May 25, 2008 - Last night we saw the International Space Station go overhead twice!   Woot.  I know it just looks like a moving 'star' but just knowing it was the ISS was cool enough.  (I make the family watch enough of the NASA channel where they know what is going on in that space station so seeing it fly over was exciting.)  I couldn't get my scope fine tuned on it as I'm new at the whole telescope thing and it's a small scope.  I tried, mind you.  The first pass lasted like 5 minutes so I had time - I'm just not good at doing anything with a telescope yet except looking at animals crap a mile away.  Smile.  The ISS makes orbit around the ENTIRE EARTH in just 1.5 hours or so.  Unreal.  It's travelling at 17,000+ mikes an hour.  As I'm watching it speed past up above, I think of all the fuel we've used up on all the various space flights over the years, and I wonder how much it must be costing NASA now with gas prices the way they are.  When we run out of fossil fuel, I won't mind riding a horse to work so much as I will miss the space flights. 

Friday night my husband took my youngest son and I out to dinner, and I ate and ate.  I got three huge blueberry pancakes and I tried like heck to shove them all in with my eggs and toast.  After waddling out to the car and driving home, I decided I couldn't let such a huge meal sit there all night while I passed out in my chair, so I mowed.  I did the push mowing/trim work first, then before it got dark I got the front half of the lawn done.  I was so thrilled.   My husband mowed the back half yesterday while I cleaned the house.  I washed all the bedding and swept and mopped and scrubbed and sucked things up and threw stuff out.  I was done by the late afternoon.  I am constantly amazed how dirty we are.  We're pigs.  Even the fish had algae growing on the side of their tank!   Oy.  I scrubbed their 'house' out too. 

My youngest has a friend coming over tonight for our bon fire, and he decided he should clean his room.  Now mind you, I ask him to clean his room all the time but that usually just involves him bringing down a sock or two along with the vast array of pop cans he's been storing up there.  (I'm convinced he's doing experiments to see if sugar free cola will turn into the next alternative fuel source by letting them age in his room until it's congealed into a nice mass of goo.) 

There was a lot of noise up in his bedroom for a while, then he came down with a big garbage bag full of 'stuff he no longer needs' as he called it.  He took that outside, then got more garbage bags and cleaners and headed back up.  (He wanted me to call him when the ISS flew over, but I was so intent on trying to get my telescope ready I forgot - and he was deep in to cleaning his sty.  He got to see the second pass, however.)  There was more noise upstairs and he had his music up quite loud, but you could tell things were happening.  I yelled upstairs to warn him at 11:45 that the ISS was coming again, and at the top of the stairs I could see a pile of things from his room piled high. 

He ended up emptying the vacuum three times.  I cannot believe it was so filthy up there!  (When the kids reach the age of 13, they are on their own to clean their own rooms.  I did it for the first 13 years - and I think 13 is the perfect age for them to take that chore over.)  He moved everything out and did along the walls and did all the corners and threw away stuff that apparently he's just been shoving under his bed for the last few years when I tell him to clean.  Hahahhha.  He filled up Herby Curby and started putting bags of junk in the 'tent' (not a shed in our famous 'walk of sheds; but a wannabe shed that covers my husband's 1989 Camero that doesn't run and just sits there getting cat tracks on it, but I digress...)

I went through a bag or two to see what he was throwing away, exactly, and had to laugh.  There was boxes for items he got several years ago.  There were notes from Jr. High.  I had always thought his bed sat high up for a bed, but now I know it was just elevated by years of shoving stuff under it.  I can't wait to go up today to see what he did and how it looks.  The mere fact he had to empty the vacuum canister three times still has me amazed.   Obviously the boy is not allergic to dust or he would have been dead by now.

Tonight we have a bon fire, weather and wind permitting, plus we are going to BBQ as well.  I made potato salad last night, so that's done, and my oldest bought chips and pop.  We got the meat and buns and veggie tray.  I look forward to just being mosquito bait later today.  Very relaxing.   (My youngest son asked a few weeks ago, "Is it BOMB fire or BON fire?"  I laughed and told him it was 'bon' fire.  "Oh, OK.   Haven't you ever noticed, Mom, I have never called it the same twice in a row all my life because I never knew what it was really called?") 

Bomb Voyage to you all...

May 28, 2008 - Happy Almost Birthday to my BFF Vickie.  May this year bring you joy and happiness at every turn.  May you enjoy sunsets and sunrises with gusto.   May you laugh at children at the grocery store.  May you smell the smells of the woods and trees and flowers and sigh with contentment.  I love you! 

My Aunt Trudy sent me some pictures and here is a good one from our reunion on Mother's Day weekend.   My Cousin Wayne was up to visit, and we had a gathering at my Uncle Merton's house.   Starting at the left and going around the table:  Aunt Trudy, Me, Cousin Carl, Sister Joyce, Niece Tori, Cousin Wayne, and Cousin Dan.  It was a hoot to see everyone. 

The bon fire and BBQ went well on Sunday night.  It was good having the family herded together.  The mosquitoes were HORRIBLE until the fire really kicked in.  (Fire was the original bug zapper, as I'm sure you are all aware.)  We played badminton and the food was good and the night was full of stars.  The kids got to see the ISS fly over, if only for a a minute or two.   We laughed loud and hardy as well.  Laughter is good for the soul. 

*I want it noted here that Sandy is the Bird Queen.  If you could please direct all correspondence to 'Sandy the Bird Queen' that would be appreciated.. You may ask yourself exactly why is Sandy is the Bird Queen?  Read on..*.

Monday it was warm and I had all the windows open.  I was sitting on the couch sniffing the warm breeze like a doggie out a car window.  There were wonderful smells of flowers and grass and earth.   Really, it was the first warm whiff of smells since spring and all the scents were just marvelous.  Then, I heard geese...  Here came two families of geese out off to the right.  Where did they come from?  I don't have geese in my yard EVER, and here were two families with at least 10 goslings that I could count.  I watched them make their way up through the yard and out to the road.  I grabbed my camera but taking a picture through a screen window just doesn't work so well and I don't recommend it.  The first family crossed over to the corn field.  (Aided by some kind motorist who didn't slow down and assumed beeping his horn would help the geese walk faster.)  The second group was a bit more hesitant but finally crossed.  I laughed to myself for a while, but still wonder where they came from.  The nearest swamp in the direction from whence they came is a long way back there. 

I was also able to see the Sandhill cranes across the road with binoculars as they were out with their chicks.  They have TWO babies this year.  (They are 'my pair' - the ones that bring their teen aged kids to the bird feeder and they come back every year.)

Monday late afternoon  I was outside trying to get some sun on my shiny albino legs when a barn swallow flew by me.  I thought to myself, "Oh, how nice.  A barn swallow is saying hello!"  I like swallows as they consume mass quantities of mosquitoes and bugs.  Then the swallow came back and said hello a heck of a lot closer.  Then two barn swallows were hello-ing the heck out of me.  It dawned on me as one grazed past my cheek that I had to be too close to their nest or their wallet or something...

I moved and they still swooped near my head.  I ran in the house and they were swooping towards the door.  Once they calmed down, I could see why they were upset.  They have a nest in the tarp/tent thingy that my husband uses for his Camero cover and I was sitting right under it.  I watched them swoop and dive and go after bugs then return to the nest.  I went and got my daughter so she could see.  We went out and watched them, hiding behind my husband's car, but they found us and showed us their flying expertise.  "See how close I can get to you without actually touching you?"  We laughed and ran back into the house. 

Later that night I had all three kids outside watching them.  With so many of us out there, they didn't dive and swoop at us but they made it known they were watching us and also made it clear they were not happy with an audience.  When Kia the dog got out of the door before I could stop her, they went after her.  Hahaha. 

Tuesday morning as I was outside waiting for the dogs to do their business as any good Mom would, with poop picker-upper in hand, when I head DUCKS.  By now, after a weekend of odd bird invasions, I could only laugh out loud.  "OK, now it's time to queue the ducks!" I proclaimed to the dogs.  I went out of the dog pen and walked out to the back yard.  There were four ducks out back.  They were very vocal yet seemed perfectly content to be back there.  "Quack!" they said to me.  "Well, Quack to you as well, my avian friends!" I replied and went back to scooping poop.  About then I was picturing what kind of sign to hang out front for my little bird sanctuary here...

So yesterday I was discussing all of this with my coworker Mike, explaining the plethora of birds that had visited me all weekend.   (Mike is forced on a weekly basis to listen to my animal exploits at length.   Kudos to Mikey for not bringing down duct tape when he talks with me.)  He asked if it was time to put up the humming bird feeders.  "Heck yeah - they've been back for a month!" I stated, being the expert of all things with feathers that I'm not.  I told him about my humming birds and how the males came back first but now I have a female visiting the feeder, when out of the blue came a female humming bird buzzing right near us.  I smacked Mike and said, "Mike, Look!  A humming bird!"  We watched her check out a pine tree directly in front of us.  She hovered there for a minute then shot off to the South.  We both burst out laughing.   Apparently all I have to do now is just THINK of a bird and they show up.   "I think I'm buying a lottery ticket tonight..." Mike said, "Can you concentrate on a pot of gold or something?  Let me know when it shows up..."

June 2, 2008 - I spent the weekend dodging killer barn swallows.  I know they won't actually hit me and put my eye out, but frankly, I don't want to to test that fact...they swoop with gusto and come very close to contact - I suppose they wouldn't swoop and try to impale themselves into my forehead if I wasn't out there playing junior paparazzi trying to get pictures of their nest.   Their mud nest is coming along well.  They followed me as I mowed out back, sucking up the bugs I shot out of the mower.  The dragon flies followed me too.  I had quite the mower parade. 

I also got a poor picture of a wood pecker at the suet feeder - taken through the screen, so it's fuzzy, but as the designated paparazzi of the immediate wild avian kingdom, I have to at least try. The woodpecker can take me to court if he needs to...

It was a good weekend all in all - weather wise and life wise.  We went to a 60th Birthday party for my sister in law Sue, and that was fun.  My husband and youngest son put in river rock around the base of the house/siding as I mowed the yard.  My daughter came over last night and spent the night.  She did her laundry and we had a BBQ and then went out for ice cream.  We laughed so hard in the car on the way home from ice cream ... let's just say I was thankful for Poise Pads!  I have a neat family.

June 8, 2008 - Ah, a quiet Sunday morning.  I miss 'being alone' and having quiet.   I am never alone ...  never ever alone.  There is someone on every possible working shift in this house, and getting a moment where I'm the only one awake and coherent is RARE.  I savor these moments like a nice warm slice of apple pie with ice cream.  (How come I have to compare everything good in my life to food?)

Many storms last night from what I could gather from the news this a.m.  I worry about my cousin in Wisconsin, my friend Dan up North, and my friends Diane and Terri near Indianapolis.  Lots of flooding happening.  Mind you, we need the rain, but not all in one fell swoop.   Right where I am there was rain and thunder and lightening, but nothing severe.   Some trees down around the area on Friday night - but still, nothing like what they got up North of us and South of us. 

This is the last week of school for my youngest.  He will be out and free by Friday.  He then starts DRIVER'S EDUCATION next Monday.  I am so not ready for this.  Out of all the kids, he will be the one that rips my hernia out and chokes it from the stress and worry of the process.  You know, they say you "don't remember the pain of childbirth" but that's a lie.  If you happen to forget the pain of childbirth, it's all recreated for you during the driver's education process and you say to yourself, "Oh, Yeah - I remember now..."

My youngest and I have been going round-n-round over some issues as of late.  I adore the little booger, but he pushes my buttons.  He knows he pushes my buttons, hence he pushes harder.  He likes to get a reaction out of me.  ME only from what I can tell.  He doesn't push Dad's buttons at all.  He doesn't test that ground because he knows that ground is rock solid and pissy.  Mom, on the other hand, is a bucket of fun apparently - watching my reactions to daily life issues.  Every time I tell him to do something his reply is, "I know, Mom!"  He couldn't possibly know all the wisdom I am bestowing upon him, but he claims he does, and that irks me even more.

He announced to me he was failing Environmental Science. "What?!" was my reaction to this statement, my head cocked to one side and my eye twitching.  He explained why (bad test score, missing work.)  He has issues with the teacher.  He blamed the teacher for his failing grade.  "No!  Not acceptable!" I retorted.   "I know, Mom!"  (When Mom issues the statement "NOT ACCEPTABLE" the older two kids will tell you it's either time to run for your life, or get on your knees and start pleading for mercy.)  I suggested firmly (which is the kind way to put it - I'm sure I didn't say it like that - I'm sure I was more animated in my suggestion) that he had better beg for extra credit or ask what he could do to improve his grade. 

He managed to bring home a progress report with a D+ in that class.  Once again, my head spun around and pea soup shot out of my mouth as I roared, "NOT ACCEPTABLE!"  If my youngest son struggled and had issues with getting passing grades to begin with, I would be more understanding.  My youngest son has carried As and Bs throughout his school career without even studying at night or cracking a book to study.  So far in his little life he's cruised by on his good looks and the original intelligence God gave him.   He has not had to work on a grade.  Good grades, up until this point, have just fallen from the sky like manna. 

I suggested we sort through his binders and folders in his back pack.  "I think you need to be more organized." (That was my reason I gave him - I just wanted a chance to talk to him about school.)  As we sorted through things, I found paper after paper that was incomplete or not even started.  "Why don't you do this stuff?" I asked in the calmest voice I could muster.  "Because I don't care about that stuff..." was his reply.  No fear in his voice at all.  Not a care.  I was of course turning various shades of red and foaming at the mouth.  He had the nerve to laugh at me, as I'm sure my emotions were clear on my face - and that's when I snapped.  "OK.  Since you obviously don't care if you get good grades enough to get into college, you might as well get used to manual labor, I suppose.   Oh, and give me your Zune."  *A Zune is like an MP3 player that can house music, movies, etc.  He uses his Zune to listen to when bored, or doing dishes, and he falls asleep with his Zune.*  He laughed again as he handed over his Zune, shaking his head  He claimed he didn't care he lost his Zune.  Oh well....

I hauled him outside and I made him tote branches back to the burn pile as I trimmed bushes and trees. We were both sweating a lot by the time my rage was exhausted on the poor innocent foliage.  I played a bit of a mind game on him while he was sweating profusely as well.  "You know, this IS tick season, so keep an eye out for ticks..."  After that he was brushing himself off and swatting at himself and running his fingers through his hair.  He hates ticks.  I smiled to myself at my evil deed of mental manipulation.

When I had pretty much cut what I could on all the bushes and trees to the south of our property, we came in.   "Take a shower before you go to bed, make sure you are tick free." I commanded.  He did that without hesitation. 

I was still fuming to myself and shared my anger with my husband when he woke up to get ready for work.  Since I was fuming, he fumed.  We fumed together.  I have not given my kids anything to rebel against.  We are not a dramatic household.  Oh, sure - we've had our ups and downs - but over all my kids were taught to live without 'drama' and angst.  I allow one 'rebellion' per child, however.  All kids must 'rebel' to grow, is my theory.  I was thinking to myself that this was his little 'rebellion'... I was beside myself.  How could one of MY kids not CARE?  My daughter was on line as we discussed this.  She is a good sounding board as she can see things from his perspective as well as mine, but in this case she was leaning to my side of the fence as she, too, couldn't figure out why he would act like this.  I was so perplexed until this email came to me later in the evening as I was pondering all of this:

"Sorry for acting like I don't care about environmental science. I do care. It's just I'm not worried about failing. That doesn't scare me or worry me. A d+ isn't going to change the rest of my life. Now - more than one will. I'm sorry I haven't been trying my hardest in his class but you don't understand How Annoying He IS!!! he is just a bad teacher. but you'll just reply that doesn't matter or that doesn't stop you from trying your best or something to that effect....I Know! To be honest I really don't know why I don't try hard in his class. In English we did a report on how the brains frontal lobes are sooo important during the teen years. and a quote from one of the articles was "teens don't think they react" so I guess I was just reacting to what everyone was saying. and what everyone was saying was... "GAH he is a sucky teacher. you can't get anything from this!...blah blah etc. etc."  So I'm sorry it looked like I didn't care but I do. and Most of all I'm sorry for treating you so rudely and for saying I know, even though I do know a lot of the time...Not ALL of the time but a lot.

And now's the part where I try to convince you to give me back my zune. I use it to block out everyone in AE so its just my little world that's why I gots no homework a lot of nights. and when I don't get it done I like to listen to it during homework at home. And it helps me get through dishes. It helps me to calm down from stupid people. So I would LOVE it if you could give it back. AND don't think I'm still not going to try cuz you are wrong I'm going to try harder. because if I don't you will take it away. so if you could please could I have it back? so Goodnight Love you mooshy moosh night."

I cried when I read the first paragraph, and I laughed when I read the second.  I forwarded this on to my daughter and printed it out so my husband could read it.  This email SAVED his life, basically - and had he not emailed it when he did, well - I'm not sure what I would have done.   My daughter stated that she forgets he's 'growing up and maturing' and aside from the begging for his Zune, it was a mature letter.

I thanked him in the morning, stating that I wasn't sure what I would have done had he not emailed me, and he's always free to talk to me in person as well.  I didn't give him back his Zune, however, for a day or two. 

I thought I was over a huge hump in our relationship until Thursday night.  He was working on a book report for his English class.  He had chosen "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams.  Excellent book.  Funny as all get out.  His big brother has all five books of the 'trilogy'... So my wee one decided that would be his book for his report. 

He had to find two on line book reviews to include in his report, as well as his own.  He had to find out history about the author, etc.  After an hour of typing and being on line, he turned to me and said, "Mom, why don't you type up my review for me?"  I thought he meant he would dictate it to me, as it was getting late and my typing skills are much better than his, and I stated as much.  "No, I mean - why don't you DO my review for me?" 

Once again my head began to spin and I raised one eyebrow and lashed out at him.  "You read the book, you write the review!" 

"But you have read it too, a couple of times, and write much better than I do!" 

"Flattery will get you nowhere...wait - YOU DIDN'T READ THE BOOK!!"  Realization hit me as an official member of "MOMS OF AMERICA" as I stared into his eyes.  "You didn't read the book and you want ME TO DO YOUR WORK?!!!!"  "I read the book..." he said sheepishly.  I asked him some questions.  He could only answer a few.  "OK, Mister - how many pages DID you read?"  He told me and I was livid.  "You're gonna fail this one, son.  You had a month to do a project, and you couldn't even find time to read a damned good book.  You would have laughed.  It's a funny book - well worth the time reading." 

"I just don't read - I hate reading.  I would rather watch or do!" was his reply.  I simply got up out of my chair and went to bed.  I couldn't even talk to the boy at that point, so I left him there to finish a bogus book report.  I was going to sleep - where I was free to roam in my dreams where my youngest reads non-stop and where I'm skinny and where there are many hot cabana boys who think I, too, am sexy ... ah, yes - DREAMS are marvelous places to hide. 

I think my barn swallows have pulled up stakes and moved on.  I have not been attacked by swooping in two days.  No bird activity in the tent at all.  The nest is 'done' and huge, but now Mom and Dad swallow are MIA.  All I can guess is that they were sick of all the activity in and out of that tent.  Maybe it was us humans or the constant cat parade, but alas, they are gone.  Maybe they were foreclosed on, who knows?

June 9, 2008 - My wee one got a late start this a.m. - he stayed up late with his siblings, and didn't wake up to my beating on the floor with a broom ritual.  I finally called him down and that gave him 15 minutes to get ready.  He barely got out the door.  It is raining, so I yelled out after him, "Do you want an umbrella?"   "No," he replied "but I want deodorant!"  He had forgotten an essential hygiene tool.  I got it to him and he was fresh as a daisy and on the bus within minutes.

Jake the big dog (biggest one, I should say - around 80 lbs.) has become shepherd to a family of toads that live in the dog pen.  He spends hours monitoring their activity.  They hang out there, I assume, because I always leave the light over the kitchen sink on as a night light - and that draws bugs and the toads have a constant food source.  Jake is fascinated by the toads and watches them.  He will glance at me on occasion as if to ask, "What the heck are those?" or "Look at this!  I have discovered a new species!"  Kia could care less about toads.  Jake makes it his personal mission to know where each toad is at all times.  The toads will even try to hop in the back door now and then and I will pick them up and put them back outside of the dog fence.  They will then hop right back in and take up station under the kitchen window.  Jake is by my side the whole time making sure I handle the toads properly.  

I miss my barn swallows.   It's not the same walking outside and having to immediately throwing myself to the ground to save my eye sockets from swallow bombardment.  Sigh.  I get way too attached to birds.  I'm sure a psychologist could have a hay day with my fascination of birds ... something lacking in my youth or in reality I was raised by a herd of wild birds and they gave me to my human parents because they knew that they couldn't find enough worms to satisfy me. 

June 16, 2008 - It was a pleasant weekend.  Rain and hail, but sunshine as well. A good balance.  I pity the people being flooded out.  I think the weather is trying to cram two months worth of rain in to just a few weeks. 

The cranes are bringing up the babies and sharing the joy that is Sandhill Cranes with us.  The kids still have their fluffy butt feathers that make them look like something from Dr. Suess.  Yesterday, they were out front by the road, so I went to fill the bird feeder.  When Daddy Crane saw me doing that, he marched right up the driveway toward me.  I am a big woman, mind you, but I had no inclination to wrestle with a large bird.  He was on a mission to get new seed, and I was not about to stop him.  I backed away from the bird feeder as he strutted up the driveway on his mission, and I came into the house to watch them through the safety of the window.  I was shocked by his actions, as I've been an admirer of the cranes for years and feel honored by their visits, but not once in all that time have they willingly came up to me whilst I was outside.  The other birds give these guys full control of the feeder area when they come up, so I do, too!  I wish I could set up a BIRD CAM and just monitor that area all day from work.  I'm sure it would be a hoot...or a cackle...or a tweet...or a chirp...

Oh, and my youngest starts driver's education today.  This is just a heads up for those of you in the greater tri-state area.  You have been so duly warned.  I have no idea how parents with 12 kids get through this whole process over and over again ... I am not a bit sad that this is my third and final time, assuming the wee one passes... 

June 23, 2008 - In bed last night I was feeling amazed at being human.  I am always amazed by humans and actions of humans and just being human in the first place.   Quite overwhelming if you ponder on it.  Example from this morning of human amazement - I walked outside with the dogs just as the morning light began over the horizon and immediately saw clouds that remind me of a Ninja Turtle eating a live shark and a dragon in dire need of a nose job.  Those thoughts came to me instantly upon seeing the cloud formations.  That amazes me.  Human brains like patterns, and I just proved it. 

First week of driver's education went well for my youngest.  No one was injured.  He will get more driving in this week.  Apparently, according to his riding partner, he tends to hug the center line.  He was also very nervous, he confessed.  They all are.  I forget that teens DO get nervous about stuff.  The way he acts sometimes - his shows of bravado - that is all a front.  The instructor took them right out on the roads the first time behind the wheel!  Oy.  I could launch into a sermon about how "in my day" things were different, but really in my day they DID kind of just throw us to the wind, behind the wheel - and it was sink or swim.  From what I can remember, we drove a little then suddenly we were licensed.  My Dad took me to get my license on my 16th birthday.  My driver's test was going around the block.   Seriously.  I just drove around the block.  Four right turns and I was licensed by the state of Michigan.  I do suppose the three tiered licensing system now days for kids is MUCH better and much safer than four right turns and a handshake.

I spent yesterday watching "Cosmos" shows by the late Carl Sagan on the Science Channel.  I also saw, for the first time this weekend, the Discovery Channel's little commercial called "Boom De Ah Dah" and was just thrilled.  How cute.  It features people from all the shows they have.  And now, I will sing it to you because it's so cute and needs to be sung ...

I love the mountains

I love the clear blue skies

I love big bridges

I love when great whites fly

I love the whole world

and all it’s sights and sounds

Boom De Ah Dah….

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

I love the oceans

I love real dirty things

I love to go fast

I love Egyptian kings

I love the whole world

and all it’s craziness

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

I love tornadoes

I love arachnids

I love hot magma

I love the giant squids

I love the whole world

it’s such a brilliant place…

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

Boom De Ah Dah…

The world is an awesome place, with awesome Ninja Turtle clouds and deformed dragons.  I am honored to be here for a short while to enjoy it.

June 27, 2008 - Well, then...I have a 'mission' for this weekend.  I woke up to find several huge black ants holding a satanic ceremony around my sugar container.   This is not acceptable.  Ever since 1982 when I woke up one morning and poured myself a big bowl of Lucky Charms and discovered, after eating half of it, that there was several thousand huge black ants doing the back stroke in said bowl, I've made it my personal mission to NOT LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.  I mean, I have nothing personal against ants in general.  I just don't like ants floating in things I want to consume.  So my mission this weekend it to seek and destroy their point of entry.   Sigh.  I get all 'Rambo' like when it comes to those big ants...stupid Lucky Charms anyway...

My youngest son, who you will remember was failing Environmental Science pulled it out of the toilet by getting an A on his exam.  I asked him WHY HE COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT ALL SEMESTER.  "Live and learn...." he said. 

June 29, 2008 - This morning I got up because I had to pee in the worst way.  I think my brain and my kidneys were talking about this for some time before I was actually given the mental signal to wake up, because when I was bolted awake by the urge to urinate there was NO room for hesitation.  I picture my bladder calling to my kidneys in a voice not unlike Scotty from Star Trek, "Kidneys, I c'not hold any more!  I'm holdin' all I can!..."  So the kidneys call the brain to report a dire situation with the bladder, and the boys in the brain (who have totally forgotten what it's like to be a full bladder) tell the kidneys, "...Copy, over.  I think we're gonna let her sleep just a little while longer, however.  She only just went to bed at midnight..." The kidneys relay this back to the bladder, who immediately threatens to "let her blow" and starts playing all it's old home movies from the beach and of waterfalls, etc.  The brain realizes it can't hold back the inevitable, and I get the WAKE UP OR DROWN message.  I love being human.

I was so lazy yesterday, when it was sunny and nice.  I didn't do much of anything during that glorious sunny day.  I didn't get my rear in gear until late in the afternoon, when I took my husband grocery shopping.  After we got home from shopping and got all the items put away, my son drove us to dinner.  While at the restaurant there were TVs in the corners of the dining room, and one was turned to the local news station.  Right there in living color was the weather map showing a line of thunder storms coming over Lake Michigan.   "Oh..." I moaned.  We didn't get thunder storms, we just got rain.   This morning it's still raining.  See what you get for being lazy?  You get very long grass. 

June 30, 2008 - My friend Kathy said something to me in a letter today - how I'm 'not myself' lately.  I pondered that most of the day.  She's right.  It's so true.  I have not been 'myself' lately.  I've been tired and drawn out and stressed.  I've been feeling all used up.  Yet, after she mentioned it and after I thought about it, I realized I was doing a lot of that stressing and draining and drawing out to myself!!  Had she not mentioned it to me I think I would still be feeling that way.  Funny how a friend - gently saying a kind word - can totally pull your head out of your buttocks.  Very cool.

I also went out my group of my high school friends for our Quarterly Meeting tonight. (We meet for dinner after work when time allows.)   I love being in that group as we laugh and laugh and laugh.  We discuss everything from cute waiters to serious life issues.  However, when Grace bit into that cheese pretzel thingy and it technically 'farted' cheese all over - well, that was just the best thing ever.  I am so happy no one was seated directly to her right.   Grace managed to convey that it is indeed very hard to laugh hysterically when you have hot cheese melting your mouth's soft tissue.  I think we're suing the pretzel.

Once again, I have to state that being human rocks.  The body tries to tell us stuff about what it needs, but being human and all, we normally only hear about what it wants, so sometimes to get a point across various body parts will take drastic measures such as dying or falling off or the like. 

Today at work, I went to stand up after a nice long session of sitting in front of my computer and just as I stood up, the Evil Leg Cramp From Hell took every muscle in my upper right leg and prodded each of those muscles with a red hot pitchfork while banging on each muscle with a sledgehammer repeatedly. Immediately I drew my right leg up to my chest in a 'Karate Kid' sort of pose (I'm pretty agile for an older heavy set gal) and I started doing Lamaze class style breathing while I hopped around on my left leg barking "OUCH OUCH OUCH..."   I had my right leg up so high that my underwear was exposed (and it's not my best Sunday pair, mind you) so had anyone walked in about that moment, they would have suggested highly that I make a trip to WalMart as soon as I was able to walk again to purchase some new panties or longer skirts, I'm almost sure. 

I massaged on my leg muscles and in my mind took a delegation from my brain to my leg to convince said leg that it had no reason to cramp and if it would be nice enough to release it's death grip of pain, we could all just sit down and talk this matter over like decent human folks would.

Slowly the cramp went away and I was able to put my leg down, yet it was still very shaky.  No one walked in until AFTER I was in a normal standing position again, thank goodness!!  The leg cramp was just a little reminder to Sandy to DRINK MORE WATER.  When I don't drink half the volume of the Great Lakes everyday, my muscles will revolt and cramp.  I've learned this the hard way several times, having it confirmed by my family doctor.  (You may recall the telling of my story about the whole 'body' cramp that made me roll around like a frozen fiddler crab having a seizure after being encased in cement a year or so ago when I had the flu and the doctor calmly telling me, "You're dehydrated, drink more water.")  Seriously, if I don't drink my daily allotment of water, I seize up like an unlubricated U joint. 

Now how cool it that?  Really, I don't enjoy the pain, mind you, but I do appreciate the reminder from my body that I need to do something, even something as simple as drinking a glass of water.  Maybe the older we get the louder our body gets when things go wrong?  Maybe the older we get, we just learn to listen better.  I think it's the latter...

July 7, 2008 - The Fourth of July Weekend was grand.  We went to see the parade in Schoolcraft, and there was a fly over (early, about 1/2 hour before the parade began) by two A10s, and we all know how loud jets make Sandy happy.  I was quite sad, however, that the marching band could only muster about 30 people total, if that many, to march.  I made my son march, as he is required by Mom's law to march if he's a marcher, and he is.  It was voluntary to march in the parade this year, and boy howdy - did it show with the low turn out.  The band was so small you didn't even get to hear them play before they were gone again.  Sigh.  I did help the little kids around me get candy that was lobbed at them.  Some of the people in the parade had arms on them, boy howdy.  Bombardment!  I was the hunter/gatherer for my husband as well, because he has to have Tootsie Rolls during the parade, and I would occasionally bring him one instead of giving it to the little kids. Ug, me bring home bacon, fry in pan!  Ug!

My son got the traditional Mom speech before being dropped off to march..."What are you marching for today?"   "I know, Mom, I know!  I'm marching for Vicksburg..." "NO!  You are marching because you are an American and were lucky enough to be born in America.  You are marching because you can!" was my response and then the standard lecture about freedom and all came after that.   I feel sorry for my kids who do/did march as they both get/got that speech a million times.  My oldest was in band his entire middle school and high school career, but he had the option not to march so he didn't, but then he got the speech that he didn't have to march because of freedom of choice in America, etc.  Smile. 

We also went to the fireworks in Schoolcraft, and I protected my ears under all trees so as not to suck in a bug again like last year.  I do so enjoy sitting and watching people.  The kids played Frisbee and laughed and talked while we waited for the boom booms.  It was a good show.   I am always amazed how well the small town people do with their fireworks.   Each year it gets better.  After the fireworks we came home and talked and laughed.  I laughed so hard at the kids I couldn't get my breath there for a bit.   I also thank God for Poise Pads!  Really, if I were smart, I'd buy stock in that company...

We went over to see an evening balloon launch at the Battle Creek balloon show on Saturday.  It wasn't much of a launch as there was hardly any wind, so they mainly went up a while then came down, but it was balloons nonetheless!  We also got to see some jets flying and a few older planes from the tail end of the full fledge air show.  We got a fast food dinner and sat in the shade and watched the balloons.  It was pleasant to be with the family and just 'chill' and relax. 

The wee one passed his Driver's Ed course!  Today or tomorrow Dad will take him to get his first phase license.  I got all the documents together for the trip.  You have to provide eight million different types of proof of existence at the Secretary of State office, if you can find the office in the first place as it moves every six seconds to save money for the State, or so we're told...  So I gathered up his Social Security card and birth certificate and last report card and a pay stub of his from the corn fields last year and a scrap of his baby hair and pictures of me in labor with him and pictures from the sonograms I had at 6 weeks and a beer can from the night of his conception ... I hope it's all enough.  

July 8, 2008 - I had bum knee over the weekend.  My left knee ached with the white hot intensity of a 1000 suns.  (OK, I am being a bit dramatic here...but man, did it hurt!)

It started during the week last week, and got worse as the week went on.  It felt like I had bruised my muscles in my left knee.  I didn't pay much attention to it until it got to the point I couldn't even bend the poor thing.  Then, of course, I felt it.  "Ouch!" I said.  I compared it to my other knee - you know how you do it - the symmetry test.   "Yep, this one has a lump on it too...must be normal...yep, this one sounds like rice krispies when I move, so it must be normal..."  After assuring my brain I was fine, and this was just a sore muscle, I tried to forget about it.   However, the more I tried to forget the worse it got.

I used ice packs on it and took aspirin.  I thought I could de-swell it if indeed it was swollen.  The ice made it feel tighter and hurt more.  I tried to stretch it and massage it, but it hurt too much to do that.  Once I was up and walking, I was OK.  It was the getting up and getting down that hurt.  Climbing into bed even hurt.  I knew that on Monday I would have to seek medical attention for it was out of my 'home treatment' range.   Sigh. 

My husband kept telling me to try heat on it, but as we all know, if something is swollen you don't use heat on it, and it was after all my husband saying it, and who listens to those guys?  On Saturday evening I finally was in so much pain I decided to take a hot bath.  I ran the water, and in my infinite wisdom did not check the temperature before getting in.  I thought of doing this as I launch myself and my bum knee into the air aimed at the tub, but by then I was committed.  I couldn't put weight on my left knee to stop myself on the step once I felt the initial heat on my right foot and saw the skin start shredding off.   I sort of plopped into the tub and caused a tsunami effect in the bathroom.  I also made odd noises.  It was a scream mixed with a moan, a 'meam' if you will - as my buttocks caught on fire and the smell of bacon filled the bathroom.  The water was way too hot for a human and here I was basting in it.  I thought of calling out to anyone in earshot to call 911 and get a fork lift over here to get me out, but then something happened I can't explain, it was a welcome feeling...my left knee "unkinked" and the pain went away.  As I looked upon my beet red body, I could feel relief rushing to my leg.  I massaged the knee and was able to lift my leg and bend it.  Of course, my brain kicked in and said, "If you can bend the thing, GET OUT OF THIS WATER!!  NOW!!  PLEASE!  I'M BEGGING YOU..."   So I did.  I walked out of the tub without hopping or contorting and was able to move again. 

After my skin returned to normal color and I was able to put on jammies without igniting the fabric, I came out to my lazy boy and used the heating pad on my knee.  After 20 minutes or so, I used ice.   Then the heating pad, then ice...(you can see the pattern here.)  By the time I went to bed, I could actually 'crawl' into bed without crying.

As I lay in bed and relaxed and felt my knee and the soreness of the muscles that had been apparently out of whack for a week, my brain mentioned to me in a kind and even tone that NEXT time I have something like this happen to PLEASE try the heating pad first before removing several layers of skin in the tub.  I agreed to this and went to sleep after my husband called up to the top bunk, "I told you so..." 

July 10, 2008 - A tree company trims trees near the lines for our power company.  The tree company's name is Asplundh, but every time I try to say that name snot flies out of my nose or it ends up coming out as 'Assplug.'  They started trimming the trees in our front yard yesterday and will finish today.  They mark the trees they want trimmed with red blotches of paint in early spring.  Of course my son in his infinite wisdom has shot every tree in a mile wide radius of our home with his paint ball gun in bright orange, so I hope they don't end up taking down every tree in the yard, as it looks like they are ALL marked for trimming.  We'll see how this goes.   I left dear son a note today asking him to haul what Assplug has already chopped up to the burn pile.

Tuesday I had the worst bout of PMS or "in progress" PMS that I've had in years.  I was just exhausted.  I had promised to walk with my friend, Effie, when we took the kids to band practice on Tuesday night, but all I could muster was taking a nap.  I got up long enough to take my son in, and set the alarm and collapsed 'til it was time to pick the boy up.

I had gone to the doctor's in the afternoon to get my blood pressure med refilled.  I had run out for a day or so, and since my doctor isn't 'in network' it cost full price to go until my million dollar deductible for out of network doctors is filled.  I put off the visit until a pay day was close by.  I got a lecture on this from my Doctor's assistant, and she filled out a prescription for more blood pressure medicine, as my blood pressure was rather high at office visit time.  I told her it was high because I was PMS'ing to the tenth degree, and was in no mood to drive downtown and ... No excuses are really valid when you have a stethoscope shoved down your cleavage or checking the arteries of your neck and the raised eyebrow "Spock" look from the doctor's assistant...   

When I left the office, I still had to go pick up my son from his friends and as I drove I was thinking I couldn't make it.   I was just too pooped to drive.  I almost pulled to the side of the road once.   My head was throbbing (because we all know once you find out you have elevated blood pressure, you tend to realize that 'oh, that is why my head hurts' and you let it start hurting.)  I did manage to pick up my son and then stop to get my medicine and I also got the BLUE MAGIC bottle of Pamprin (not the PINK, that doesn't work like the BLUE) and I took two of those in the parking lot.  I also stopped to get Subway for dinner, as I was not cooking and as soon as I got home, PLOP - I was out like a light.   I feel much better now, but Tuesday was just plain evil.

I have mentioned before how my bra seems to be the destination of choice for all bugs that make it into my house.  We all remember the time the earwig was impaled on my breast for the day and I wondered why it itched so much in that particular spot all day at work and when I got home I found the poor guy smothered with his body's imprint embedded into my boob...I am convinced critters send out those little vacation post cards from my bra, "Having a marvelous time, wish you were here..." sort of deal, hence the word gets spread around about the wonders of Sandy's 'cross your heart' vacation spot.

Yesterday it was a large ant that was using my right cup as a hammock.  (I learned a long time ago to check my bra before putting it on after the whole smushed earwig incident.)  I shook him out and he fell to the floor with a plop - he was HUGE.  My first impression of this ant, being so large and all, was that it looked like Marlon Brando during the fat years.   He attempted to waddle off and I of course crushed the poor thing.  "No, Bad!  Bad Ant!! You don't vacation in my bra!" I lectured as I crushed him.   I wonder what it is about my bra?  I could probably make tons of money by wearing a bra once and packaging it like a fly strip for people's kitchens.  Sigh.  

July 12, 2008 -  Last night was a wonderful telescope night for Sandy!  It left me wanting a bigger telescope IMMEDIATELY plus left me crying at the amazing universe we are swirling in. Sigh.  I took my scope out to the front yard facing west and checked out Saturn and Mars.  Mars was very red last night, and for the first time in my life, I saw Saturn's rings in my telescope.  Mind you, the mosquitoes were terrible and it took me forever to keep the scope from vibrating during all of my swatting and swearing, but there Saturn was  - plain as day once everything settled down.  I totally screwed up the site on the side of my scope so it took forever to get her in focus.  I'll have to fix that when I'm not being thrown to the ground by bugs and getting my life drained out by them. 

I was so excited that I, a little puny human in a yard in Michigan, could SEE the rings on Saturn with a beginner's telescope, that I ran inside and herded up the boys and made them look.  They were only out there a minute but the mosquitoes just flocked to them.  The boys were impressed by seeing Saturn's rings, but only stayed long enough to get their eyes to focus on the planet, then ran back in screaming from loss of blood. 

After I got enough of Saturn, I swung the scope around to check out Jupiter, which is huge right now.  I could see bands on it and moons on either side!  I was in tears last night.  The most I've checked out was a nebula (by accidental scope movement) and the Moon, but last night was a planetary bumper crop of cool stuff.  I really really want a bigger scope.   Maybe Hubble sized... Sigh.  The world's an awesome place...

I also started back on Weight Watchers this week and already I feel SO MUCH BETTER.  Seriously.  I was just reaching 'rock bottom' again, but you are what you eat apparently.  Some old sayings have truth.  I love feeling 'alive' again and not bogged down and gunked up.   Weird what humans will do to themselves willingly.  I mean, I knew I was eating poorly and feeling worse, but I still did it.  Sigh.  Oh well, we'll try again to see if this time I will Stella the hernia shoved back in from whence she came (if I lose enough weight.)  Out of the 60 pounds I lost with WW before, I had gained back 20.

I really don't care what I look like as long as I'm still able to tie my own shoes and pick things off the floor and such...I guess the older I get I DO care how I feel and I was so down in the dumps.  I am thinking it's the 'evil fat' that does that to a person - the worse you feel, the more you eat - the more you eat, the bigger and more powerful the 'evil fat' gets.  I swear I can hear it laughing in an mad scientist type manner sometimes...  "Bwahahahaha - did you see how I got her to eat that bag of Oreos?  Bwahahaha!!  Soon we will rule this body and all who reside within it!"  

Wish me luck.  I really hate feeling how I was feeling.  Feeling better is good.

July 21, 2008 - I was a busy girl this weekend.  I mowed and did laundry and did dishes and weeded and ... I tried to stay mobile a lot.  (Of course on Saturday I was forced by a gang of ninjas at gun point to take a nap, so that doesn't count.  That's my story, I'm sticking to it...)  It had rained and rained on Saturday so I couldn't mow, and taking a nap seemed a good thing to do.  I could have dusted, but why start now?

Yesterday when I was mowing, something (or someone) hit the back of my left leg and when I went to brush it off it BIT ME!  I only got a glimpse of it - light brown/tan color and wasn't very big, but the little bugger bit me.  It hurt a LOT and it hurt enough where I drove up to the house to clean it and put medicine on it.  The whole while I'm mumbling under my breath about "...rabid insane sadistic grasshoppers..." to anyone who cared to listen to me mumble.  I am really not sure what it was but it hurt like the dickens the whole time I mowed.  I doctored the bite up again before I went to bed.  This morning it just itches a lot.  I would really like to know what type of bug that was.  One would expect that much pain if one was out intentionally dancing and rolling naked on the beach after they issued a 'Killer Jellyfish' warning - but not from a little bug whilst mowing.

I'm doing well on Weight Watchers so far, but then again, I've bought no food whatsoever.  Really.  I've been making dinners from what I have in my freezer and cupboards.  If you don't have chocolate in the house, you can't make anything containing chocolate.  This applies to junk food in general.  If it's not in the house you don't put it in your mouth.  The only thing I have purchased recently is dog and cat food and items for my son's lunch.  (The wee one is detasselling corn again this year.)  I decided to buy him Gatorade powder and mix his drinks myself to save money and plastic containers.  Every night I mix up a batch and put it in the fridge for his lunch the following day.  Every night after I get home from work he tells me how "I nailed it" on his Gatorade.  "It was just perfect, Mom.  You did good."  I tell him the secret to my amazing concoction is reading directions on the side of the can and shaking well... It's nice to know people think I'm amazing when I'm just being quite normal.

Also, in a week, my wee one goes to band camp.  I have yet to start preparing him for that - packing and getting the little things he'll need.  I keep thinking that one day all my kids will just automatically prepare for things on their own and I won't have to worry about those types of things anymore, but I realize that my hope is just a wild dream brought on by poisonous venom from a rabid sadistic grasshopper... 

July 23, 2008 - My dogs have found a breach in the house security as it were - the back screen door that goes out into the dog pen is broken. 

I didn't know this until the other night when I walked out the front door (with the dogs laying peacefully all over my furniture, hair-ing up the couch and chairs quite nicely) to pull weeds and when I got to the flower garden out back, the dogs were in the pen assisting me in the only way they know how, by barking like idiots.  I didn't think twice of this until I went back in the house and there they were, on the couch, drooling like good puppies but no human was around.  I asked them how they did that without opposable thumbs and all, but of course no dog will reveal their secrets to a human as we all know. 

I went back out to water flowers, and there they were again, barking like idiots.  "Ah, I get it now..."   I went in the pen to find the back door flung open wide.  The springy bar thing had lost it's spring, so there was no stopping the door (when it was shut) from being un-shut and Jake and Kia had figured this out.  Just a little pressure and out they went - enjoying the warm weather and letting in every rabid sadistic grasshopper and flying creature in the immediate radius of my house. 

I have put in a work order to my husband to get this fixed.  I might just end up using string and chewed gum wads.

July 27, 2008 - I have been sick.  (Well, we knew that - but I mean sick sick.)  I have been feeling 'off' for a week or two now, but I just attributed that to the fact I was over worked or getting old and didn't pay much mind to the fact I was passing out immediately after getting home and barely had enough energy to wipe myself.  Nope, I had no indication I may be getting sick sick. 

It wasn't until one of the girls at work this last week went to the doctors (as she was sick sick as well) and found out she had strep throat (which I had told her she had in the first place, geez - won't anyone listen to me) that suddenly my brain decided - "Oh, great - now the surprise is OUT!   Forget the balloons - just spring it on her NOW!  This is why we can't have nice things..." - that it was time to let me know that I, too, was sick sick.

It hit like a hammer held by the Powers Above during work on Wednesday.  I had a raw burning in my throat and a deep cough.  (The cough had really started a few days before which should have tipped me off, but for the purpose of story telling all of my symptoms began all at once, ok?)   My ears ached.  I felt beaten.  Literally.  "Beaten by a large human with really big upper arms and not much intelligence" beaten.  My voice was croaking and I was leaning further and further into my keyboard.  My teeth even hurt.  My immediate diagnosis of myself was sinus infection with a side of strep throat and a dollop of bronchitis, but I'm no doctor.  I left work on time and picked up my son nonetheless to haul him to the store to get his final supplies for band camp.   I made him drive and was thankful for that.  As soon as we were back home, I barked a few orders for whoever would listen and went to bed in a heap. 

The fever kicked in that night.   I had dreams - boy howdy, did I have dreams.  When your mind is locked in fever - you dream very odd things.  I can't remember them now, but I do know some would have made Peter Max jealous that he had not thought of those things.  I recall a scene from one dream where there were little troops hunkered down in my lungs, declaring they were winning the fight, but their sergeant stated they wouldn't win without more ammunition and they shouldn't get too cocky...

Thursday I got out of bed and logged on to work same time as always in the morning and decided I was NOT going in being in the condition I was and all, and 'called' in which was more 'emailed' in to work as I had no voice to speak of unless you count something that sounded similar to what Marlene Dietrich's singing would sound like after she yelled at her favorite sports team for 24 hours while smoking a case of cigarettes a voice.  I did work, though, until the data bits streaming into my mind reminded me of gremlins once you fed them after midnight.   I just curled up on the couch and passed out.  I had called to get in to my doctor's office first thing in the morning, but they couldn't get me in until 8:20 on Friday morning!  Sigh.  So I slept and got fevers and broke fevers and became totally concerned about me and me only when I had lucid moments. (You know, selfish stuff like "Get up and pee, you!  Right foot, left foot, right foot...good girl, you're almost there!  Go Me!!") 

I got up and gargled with salt water at one point, which really helped.  I was able to croak to my husband what type of soup I wanted for supper that night and went promptly back to bed.  I dreamed about working on a river boat with my cousin, David.  (I remember that one because he was sort of the captain of the thing and this was a river boat from the days when women wore big old hoop skirts and I was complaining to him that the waitress uniforms were always knocking over tables ...)

I tried to work a little on Friday morning, but just couldn't and emailed in again and slept until it was time to have my husband take me to the doctors.  Amazingly, and to my surprise (not) I had a sinus infection, both ears were infected, plus bronchitis and one nice red, raw throat - although I'm not sure if the test said strep or not as I was losing my 'umph' I had mustered to shuffle in there in the first place.  I crawled back to the car, and off we went to get my drugs and then we came home and I took my first pill.  As I drifted off into a fevered sleep, I could hear the troops in my lungs shouting, 'HURRAY, HELP IS HERE!' and then I pictured a large German woman with a huge wooden rolling pin walking into the lungs and slapping the rolling pin against her large hips with force, just looking intensely at all the bronchitis troops with a sort of Elvis lip thing going on...   Suddenly there is a rush for the door as it were, all those germs being intimidated by the large woman with the rolling pin and I woke up coughing up a ton of goo, wetting myself in the process.  "Oh, thank goodness - it's on the move..." I wheezed with joy.

So, basically, that was my last few days.  In my own little world for the most part, fighting the good fight and being all weak and wimpy in the process.  I feel a lot better today, although still 'weak' per say - not like "I'm dying" weak, but "Geez, really - I have no urge to participate in the Olympics just now but thanks so much for asking" weak.

August 6, 2008 - I went for a blood draw yesterday morning (for tests ordered by my doctor-normal yearly tests) and when I got to the hospital in town and handed them my sheet of paper, she handed it back to me and said, "Can you come back tomorrow?"  "What, you're that busy?"    "You're chewing gum - we can't do a fasting blood draw if you chewed gum..."  "It's sugarless!  I just put it in my mouth so I didn't gag you from my morning breath!"  "Doesn't matter - can you come back tomorrow?  A 'fasting' blood draws mean nothing for 12 hours, maybe a tiny bit of water to swallow your pills unless you've been told not to take your pills..."   "Well, I suppose I have to come back tomorrow, now don't I?"

I walked out the front door of the place, mumbling to myself that in 47 years on earth I'd never been rejected for a blood draw because I chewed a stick of sugarless gum.  Sigh.  I had a doctor's appointment yesterday afternoon and told my PA about it.  "Have you ever heard of such a thing?" I whined to her. "Hmmmmm, that's odd.  Was it sugarless gum?"   she asked.  "Yes!"  "Then we would have done the blood draw here.  I even tell patients it's OK to have black coffee..."  So I am still a quart up and good on my blood levels until this morning, where I'll go for my fasting blood draw at seven a.m., and I'll remember to spit out my gum before I walk in.  I think I'm drinking a pot of black coffee as well - really throw them for a loop.

I bet half the people who have to go for employment drug screenings are hopped up on Sugarless Trident and that's why they don't pass...something to ponder.

My youngest son survived band camp.   He didn't get sick with what I had and didn't get sunburned (except the top of his feet) and didn't loose a limb or pass out from heat exhaustion.  He arrived home safely Saturday.

I do so love the difference between male and female children when it comes to high school trips or camps.  I used to instruct my daughter prior to band camp week to use the garbage bag I packed for dirty clothes so it wouldn't stink up the rest of her stuff and she did.  I gave my son the same instructions (you memorize the speech after so many years) and HE came home with a suitcase full of rotting wet sweaty clothes that burst forth when he opened the suitcase.   "Why didn't you use the bag I sent for wet and dirty stuff?"   "Mphhhhhump..." he said as he shrugged his shoulders.  (I believe that the sound 'mphhhump' used in this context is Son Speak for "Oh, yeah - you sent a bag, didn't you?  I wondered why that was in there.  Probably should have used that for my dirty clothes, huh?") 

Other than coming home with a smelly suitcase, he seemed to have a hoot.  He was not happy with me when I made him go back to work in the corn fields on Monday, however.  "I'm sore from camp!" he complained.  "I haven't had a summer!   I've had to work and work!" he whined Sunday night to his big brother and myself.   "You're gettin' nothin' from me..." his big bro said.  "I had to do it and you are going to do it.  Why, back when I was your age, I was not only detasselling, I was working at night as a DJ..." I had to laugh.  At 27, my oldest is sounding like ME! 

Saturday was also my cousin David's daughter's graduation party here in Michigan.  They live in Wisconsin, so I thought it was nice that he had a get together for the Mitten people.  The food was good, and the cake was good, and it was nice to see everyone.  I hope Caitlin goes forth and conquers at college and is happy.  Most of all, one must be happy where one stands.

Last Tuesday night, whilst I was still recovering from being sick, I was half dozing on the couch about 7 p.m. when the dogs started having a seizure over something, then I heard it...the whoooosh pffffffshhhhh of a hot air balloon.  It sounded CLOSE!  I love balloons.   I got off the couch in time to see a member of the chase team coming up my driveway.  "Oh, hurray!  They want to land in the back yard!" I said to the dogs and ran out the back door to tell the man it was 'OK' to land.  The dogs came out with me, their chests all puffed out and they were walking/running in a very cocky manner.  They rushed out the back door barking with gusto at the chase team man but he was already running back to his truck. 

"Awwwwwww...." I lamented.   I scanned to the west and to the east to see if I could see the balloon but I didn't.  "It sounded so close!  Where is it?"  The dogs were on high alert, making sure the chase team truck left our general area but they were still growling and their neck/back hair was flared as they sniffed the air.

"Don't mind us, we're just passing through..." someone said, from above.  DIRECTLY over the dog pen was a huge gondola full of people and a very large hot air balloon.  Jake looked up and his eyes got very wide and he proceeded to crap his pants as it were.  Kia looked up and her eyes got wide and she wet herself.  They both backed up against the fence and were terrified, shaking and whimpering.  (My brave dogs would be absolutely NO USE during an alien invasion, obviously.)  Kia began to literally throw herself at the back door to get into the house.  I chatted with the people in the balloon for a minute, then let the dogs in before they got so scared they pooped out their pancreas or something.

The both ran into the bedroom and stood next to my husband (third shifter - sleeping of course) and would NOT come out for anything.  They were still shaking.  When my husband woke up for work he noticed something was wrong with the dogs.  I told the balloon story.  The whole time he was getting ready for work he made hot air balloon noises and the dogs were barking and hiding and barking and hiding....sigh.  It was, however, quite humorous I must say.

Before I went to bed that night, I had to bait them outside to potty with actual meat products ... they were NOT going out there if they didn't have to.   They spent the whole two minutes they were out peeing and watching the sky and growling, then they ran back in and jumped on the bed.  Needless to say I had no need for sheets or blankets that night as I was layered with dogs.   :)

August 7, 2008 - I sent this email to some coworkers yesterday after lunch.  I will post it for the humor factor.  It's the little things in life that make it worth living...

"Ok, so I decide I’m running out to lunch so I can pick up supplies for my gag gift I’m making for *Carl’s goodbye present for tomorrow…*Carl is my boss.  He’s leaving for a new job.

Once I swept up what I could see up and the whole floor, having 'willies' the whole time I'm doing it, then I moved the CD case and got Mom.  I then ran the bagless dirt receptacle out to the garbage container outside and in my icky disgusted 'GET THEM OUT OF THERE' mode, broke the bottom off of it and that fell into the bottom of my garbage tote.  (This is my new vacuum from Christmas and I already broke the thing!!)  So I have to dig through all those baby spiders I just deposited in there to get the bottom of my sweeper thingy.   Ewwwwwwwww.  Mind you, I have nothing against spiders, but you know how when you hear of or see crawly things how all of your exposed skin space swears things are all over you and you just know you can feel them biting you and dancing on your head and the like...?  Sigh.  Seriously, I never saw an exploding live birth spider.  So glad I used my husband's shoes now.

August 11, 2008 - My poor BFF Vickie, who lives in Florida, wrote to me after reading the last posting. 

"Just read your blog.  After being out for 3 days on Dr’s orders.  After receiving a spider bite of some variety that resulted in a staph infection and subsequently a swab test for MRSA (a really bad staph infection); which, takes a week to get the results.  Also after sudden severe (cry like a baby pain), fever, chills, headache nausea and swelling and redness (cellulitis).  After 3 days (so far) of horse pill 500mg 2x/day antibiotics and 2 days of Lortabs for the pain.   After (literally) having to CRAWL (like a dog) to the bathroom for 2 days.  I HAVE TO WONDER… is  it Sadam we have to worry about or the spiders??? Or did he send them here after extensive training somewhere in Southern Florida?"

Many times when I mention something in this blog, it will turn out she just had that experience as well.  We tend to have a connection over the miles - and have spent many hours marveling over the fact that we are connected at the hip in a cosmic sort of way.  Unfortunately, she didn't get to suck her spider issue up in the vacuum like I did - she got attacked!  Poor kid.   So I won't mention spiders again today, but I will mention winning the lottery.   Maybe if I type about winning the lottery, she will in fact win some lottery worth millions and send me some money as a thank you gift.  Smile.

The dogs got me up at 4:30.  I don't mind too much, as my bladder is always happy to have me moving in the general direction of a toilet.  I was, however, even more thankful that they had a 4:30 spaz fit as I had turned my alarm to 5 a.m. but never turned it on.  Had they not been idiots, I would have been late for work and my son wouldn't have been screamed out of bed to get to the corn fields, and I would have missed all the cool 'falling stars' I saw by getting up so early. 

We're in prime viewing for the Perseids meteor shower, peaking tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning.  However, the shower has been busy for about a week now, and I've seen some marvelous burns from them.   Some of them are pretty big and the tail burns for what seems like seconds.   Being outside at 4:30 a.m. is also good when it comes to the mosquito issue - it's cool outside (55 degrees) and they skeeters come at you slowly without the gusto they have in the heat.  (Vickie - these mosquitoes of course won the lottery and didn't bite me nor did they carry any infection at all and gave me lots of money after winning the lottery...)

August 17, 2008 - Weight Watchers is going slow but sure - last weigh in on Thursday I lost 2.8 lbs.  You want to lose slowly, not drastically, so this is good.  If I would add a firm exercise regiment to my life, it would drop more, but I have not done that.  Still, being my 'monthly' week and all, I'll take 2.8 lbs. and run like heck.  My cousin joined WW where he lives, and he's lost 8+ lbs. so far.  Men lose weight faster.  Men suck.

Friday morning I saw the coolest thing...standing outside with the doggies in the wee hours, the sun was just coming up over the horizon of trees to our East and the horses were in the pasture back there swishing their tails and munching on grass as this low fog started to spread out.   The sun and horses were all at this perfect angle so that every time they'd swish their tails, it looked like shards of rubies were spraying out - the sun catching the colors of their tail hair and playing on that.  I was just amazed.  I stood there in awe until the sun moved and the effect faded.  It made my day, however.   I was upbeat and happy all day Friday.  I didn't even need any Pamprin to keep from killing people at work.  It was a very Awesome day.

Oldest son has signed on a house and will be moving in next week.  My youngest son drove my husband and I up to see it on Friday night.  He will live about a half hour away from us.  It's small but good for a bachelor starter house.  He's only a mile from where he works, which will save millions on gas for him.  My first instinct was the urge to tell him he had to mow the lawn and pull the weeds along the fence line and give him all sorts of 'advice' on what he should do at his new house - but I didn't.  This is his first real home.  This is HIS and not mine.  I backed off Mother mode and just appreciated the fact he worked so hard to get it.  )I did request that he let me put in flowers next spring, however.)

On the way back, me sitting in back and Dad and Aaron in front,  I told them,  "Gee, I think him moving this time will hurt more than when he moved out after High School..." and right about then I'm kind of started choking on a wad of snot that made it's way down the back of my throat at a high rate of speed and they both assumed I was crying.  "Come on, Woman!   He's 27 years old!" my husband said in a kind but "come-on-he's-27-already" voice.  "Yeah, Mom - he's old, let him go!" Aaron said.  "I'm not crying, really!  I'm hackin' a fur ball!"  I said in my defense.  I think they both still think I was crying.

My youngest is quite a good driver, I must say.  He's a smooth driver so far.  Out of all three, I've been the most 'relaxed' riding with him.  Oh sure, he has a long way to go yet and he has his first winter coming up and all, but in general, he's a smooth, even driver.  He gets more miles per gallon out of my car than I do.  He has to bring that fact up every time we drive, calling me 'lead foot' and 'speed racer' and the like...

He did ask when he could take people in the car with him after he gets his second level license, and I told him we'd have to see.   "You'll get yours in the dead of winter if you pass it, and I wouldn't feel comfortable with you hauling anyone around until we see how you drive in the snow, my dear!" I replied.  He understood this and didn't argue.  He even agreed with me!  (Which in itself is kind of scary!)

There have been spiders everywhere since I had my run in with the live birth one in the house, which most people might take as a sign from above but I take as a weird coincidence.  I went to get coffee the other morning at work and there was one poised in front of the creamer, ready to defend the powdery jar with his life.  I sent him to the great beyond.  After drinking that coffee, I had to use pee like a race horse, and there was a spider as big as a quarter guarding the ladies toilet.  He, too, went to meet his maker, as when I have to pee - I HAVE TO PEE and I did not feel like having critters in my underwear in the process.   As I've said before, I have nothing against spiders and I appreciate their hard work to keep my world free of other evil critters...but, well - I HAD TO PEE! 

I just heard a story about Hershey's raising it's prices on candy - and I am thinking this is a good thing, as long as I'm in WW and all.  Raise away.  (Since we can't afford to drive to the store to get the darned things anyway...)

August 20, 2008 - My daughter is a loud person.  She speaks with gusto and, well, is just loud most of the time.  It comes from having so many ear problems as a child, plus she's so full of life it just bursts out of her.  What we consider a soft indoor voice and what she considers a soft indoor voice are two totally different things.  Like I said, she can get loud when she's excited about life and she's excited about life most of the time. 

So when she called me at work yesterday morning speaking in a voice that was barely an audible whisper, my immediate thoughts were as follows...OH MY, MY BABY HAS BEEN ABDUCTED AND SHE HAS ONE CHANCE TO CALL FOR HELP AND SHE'S CALLING ME SO I'D BETTER LISTEN AS IF I'VE NEVER LISTENED BEFORE!    Seriously, that is what I instantly thought/assumed after just hearing her say, "Mom, 'tis your daughter..." in the softest voice I've ever heard her use, EVER. 

Turns out she just wanted to know how to make French Toast and didn't want to wake up her boyfriend, but for several seconds there I was already dialing 9-1, with my finger on the last 1 on my work phone and planning how the SWAT team would save her from her captors and wondering if I could get a helicopter to fly me in, because NO ONE messes with my kids... Sigh.  At least now I will know how to ask her to tone it down when she's getting loud - "Talk in your French Toast voice!" 

My oldest son has moved into his house.   We all helped at various times on Monday to get him in there.  I was freaking out that he was taking such a big step and leaving and all, but when I went to lunch on Monday I stopped at the hardware store and got his house numbers to tack on to his mailbox pole and his name in reflective letters to put on the mailbox plus and a new hammer as a housewarming present, so when I got up there Monday night after work, that is the first thing I did - I sat my butt down and hammered in his house number to each side of the wooden pole and stuck his name on the mailbox on both sides.  Immediately I felt relief.  I wasn't freaking out anymore.  I took a big sigh and let it all go... and of course sucked my left thumb a bit, because I smashed it with the new hammer dead on and with force.  I'm sporting a nice black and blue thumbnail now.

Later that night my daughter and I decided that I felt so much better because now emergency vehicles could find his house easier if he got killed in his sleep with the house numbers and name on the mailbox now.  (We got on the subject of him getting attacked in his sleep because a new neighbor of his came by while he and his brother were moving stuff in and said, "Who bought the house?" and my son said, "I did!" and the neighbor lady said, "Oh, I hope you have better luck than the last owners!  Do you know the owners?"   and my son said, "I met them when I signed the papers..." and she went on to tell him that people were murdered in the house and that her friend committed suicide in the garage there, etc.  My youngest son said he wished he had kitty litter because so much crap was coming out of her mouth.  It bothered my youngest enough to call and tell me this, so I searched on line for murders per capita in his new town and there were none.  Oh sure, there were break-ins and rapes and such, but no murders.  I wonder what she was thinking?  Maybe she has a warped sense of humor.  One of my coworkers mentioned that maybe she was upset that someone was moving in because she was using that garage as a meth lab or something.  Humor abounded on the reasons why she told him such stories.)  I'm just happy he is in his house and happy and has his own place.  I imagine it's a bummer to say, "Yeah, I live with my parents" when you are trying to pick up a girl.  However, as I said, nobody messes with my babies, and if the neighbor woman turns out to be an issue, maybe there will be a murder near that house...

My youngest is already spreading out to over take what was the front bedroom where his brother slept - he's actually cleaning and moving stuff and arranging furniture/beds to meet his new solo life style upstairs.   He even asked for special cleaning products to do the walls, etc.  I barely recovered from that shock when he told me last night on the way home from marching band practice that he isn't getting any taller than 5' 10" because of his bedroom.  "Um, what?" I asked.  "You grow to your environment, and our house is so small and my bedroom has low ceilings - so I'll never be taller that 5' 10" because I've grown to my surroundings!" he explained.  He sited a fish tank as an example.  Bigger tank - bigger fish.  I assured him he was tall enough so if this were the case he gas already beat the system as it were being 5 inches taller than both his siblings, so quit his whining and just drive...

Other than that, my son has been settling in nicely to his home.  I went over there and picked him up Saturday so I could bring him back to get leftovers that were at my house.  His Dad took him home in the truck so they could get the last of the crap out of his storage unit.  He paid $50 a month for that storage unit...that will now go towards the house payment.  I know my youngest son misses his big bro, and I know big bro misses his brother.  He came and got him this afternoon so they could hang out.  My daughter will meet them up there and hang around for a while, then bring her little brother home.  I am so glad those kids are so close...how lucky am I? 

Other than that, the weekend was uneventful.  I helped take care of my Aunt who had a knee replaced last week.  I came home from there and did laundry and cleaned a little, but not too much.  (I don't want get anyone's expectation up and make them think that I might clean ALL THE TIME or something.)  It has been VERY DRY and the dust just filters into the house and leaves such a nice layer of dust everywhere, which I've been more than happy to just leave where it lands until someone has to screw up the uniformity of the dust layer and touch the surface and leave a clean spot, which forces me to dust.  Geez.  People.   They just don't learn.

I also did a lot of stress eating this weekend, which is not a good thing.  Weigh in for Weight Watchers is on Thursday, so I have three days to work off all that junky food I consumed thinking it would make me feel better.  (I thought I would feel better eating all that junk at the time - but in reality, it wasn't all that satisfying.  I could have gotten that much joy out of a huge bowl of salad, to be honest, but salad was at the store and junk food was within my reach at home.  I had stocked up because my youngest was suppose to have a slew of friends over, but they never did show up and his plans changed, but the food remained.)    I have paid dearly for that food binge.  When you've been eating healthy and decided to go on a food bender, you end up feeling (seriously) like you've been on a week long raging drunk.  I woke up this morning with a severe food hangover.  I felt like dog dung.  I was disgusted with myself as well.  "Why did you do it!??" I screamed at myself internally.  It also helped that my husband happened to notice I had partaken of much crappy food.  When he saw me rubbing my belly in pain, he said, "Ate yourself sick, didn't you?"  He is so observant.   The 'evil' fat won again.  I have ignored it's gloating today and started to eat like a human again.  Take that, Evil Fat!

I thought tonight I would treat myself and use some new homemade bath salts that I ordered on line a while ago.  I didn't get them from my normal 'soap' lady, but a new place I found up North.  (I had gotten a bar of their homemade soap as a gift and loved that, so I ordered more soap and some salts and other things.)  I ran a big hot bath and used a heaping portion of the bath salts.  I got in and soaked for a while, enjoying the heat and the lovely smell when suddenly my "private" area started burning.  I had also washed my face in the water prior to soaking, and my face was burning.  "Holy #*^@!  What did they use, DrainO?" I cussed as I flew out of the tub.  I let the water out and rinsed off the affected areas with cool water over and over and over again.   It took a while for the burning to go away.  "Maybe you used way too much, Mom!" my son suggested after wondering why I got out of the bath so fast and hearing of the incident .  "I can smell you coming a mile away!" my husband laughed.  (After the lovely smell of the bath salts and the rinsing process, I also put on six layers of Noxzema which also burned at first but cooled the areas eventually to a nice simmer.)  I have decided that I am not using those bath salts as bath salts anymore, but will add a little to my laundry every time I draw the wash water.  Our water is very hard, and a little salt won't hurt the washing process in the least bit plus it will add the lovely smells to the wash water.  I, on the other hand, and steering clear of them as a bathing aid.  Maybe I can save them for winter when I need to melt ice, as well....

August 25, 2008 - CAUSTIC...that is the word I was looking for last night after the salt attack in the bathtub.  It was a caustic experience.  Everything seems to be intact this morning, so no damage done.  Lesson learned, however.

The dogs were spazzed out last night.  All my human kids were at my oldest son's house, and after my husband left for work the dogs were on level orange of House Security.  EVERY noise caused them to fly off of bed and bark.  Odie coughed - off the bed they went.  The cat farted - off the bed they went.  This went on until I finally fell asleep and forgot they were idiots.  They are still on High Spaz this morning and I don't see anything in the yard that looks suspicious.  (Of course it's dark and my night vision isn't what it used to be and a raccoon a mile away doesn't seem to bother me as much as it bothers them.)

The first home football game is this week.   Even before school starts they have a game!  Oy!  The schools don't start here until the 2nd of September, but sports seems to be an ongoing thing.  I get to see the marching band for the first time.  I have intentionally NOT listened to them play their show when I went to pick up my son from marching band practice.  I would talk on the phone or have the car radio up.  I want to be surprised come Thursday.

(Author's Side Note - My spell check will not recognize the word SPAZZED or SPAZ.  Odd.  If the people who put the spell checker together would live a week with my darling doggies, the meaning of that word would become very clear...)

Oh, yeah - I wanted to stress the validity of the term "sleep on it."  Seriously - as horrible as you feel the night before (mentally that is) you can wake up and have a whole new perspective on life.   I cannot stress this enough to younger people - sleeping on it DOES help.  I am not sure I had anything to 'sleep on' last night, but I know I feel much better this morning in general about life. 

I also know I spent most of my dream sleep in some sort of espionage type dream where whoever I was with and I were trying to rescue someone but the place that person was kidnapped to was like an old mine in the ground with many many steps throughout the whole thing.  I spend a lot of time last night running up and down stairwells in search of someone.  I remember one thing very clearly about the dream - at one point I turned to whoever was with me and said, "You know this is all going to come out OK in the end, so let's just skip to the part where we get out of here..."  That made me laugh this morning.  Human brains - go figure.

August 26, 2008 - The weather man said yesterday that it would be much cooler in the mornings, almost AUTUMNAL.  That word makes me smile.   Autumnal sounds so dramatic to me, as if you'd use it in a paragraph such as, "Oh My God!  The nuclear reactor has gone autumnal - it's gonna blow - RUN!!"  It was very chilly this morning.  I believe when I got up it was around 47 degrees.  

On the way home from work a younger human was following me in a truck.  He was very close to my rear end but I just ignored him.  If he hit me, it would be his fault, so I didn't worry too much.  (I have yet to figure out why some people find it so very important to ride people's rear ends in their car.  The split second of time you have gained by getting so close you can see the dead bugs in my rear window really hasn't gained you anything at all.  My husband is a rear end rider.  I see no need for that.  You need reaction time.  We live in Michigan, after all, and you never know when there will be a patch of black ice or a suicidal deer flinging himself in front of you.) 

So the young human followed me all snuggled up like that for a while, then suddenly I think to myself, "Man, my heart is beating way weird!"  Then I thought, "No, it's a stroke, not a heart attack..."  Took me a second to realize it wasn't my heart or brain, but the bass coming out of his truck that was vibrating my car and me to the point of disturbing natural body processes.  That has to be a bad thing, I've decided.  I like loud music sometimes too, but not with the bass so loud it alters how my blood flows and blows the windows out of surrounding buildings.  I suppose he needed entertainment to go along with following me so close.  Silly young human.  Silly humans in general who practice this deadly driving art form.  Drafting is not for the common road system.  Save that for Indy.

September 4, 2008  -Finally, some RAIN!  The smell that wafted into the windows after it started raining was wonderful - so earthy!  The ground is sucking it up at a high rate of speed as it's been so dry.  My lawn is either burnt orange or vibrant green - depending on where the grass is.  The grass that is shaded all the time is green.  The majority of the grass, however, is a lovely dead color.  I am sure it will appreciate this rain.  I even hear thunder as well and see lightening. 

I am on vacation, technically, for two weeks.  I have not shared this information with many, as I am being selfish because I wanted time for ME.  Very selfish, but needed. 

So far it has not worked out very well.  Work has called several times, but I expected that I guess.  Not enough people or time to cross train someone to know all I know - not their fault or mine, I guess.  Still sucky, however. 

Plus when I'm on vacation, the remaining members of the household just ASSUME that I will do everything.  It's a 'free pass' for the boys to stop functioning as viable human family members.  Sigh.  I could get angry at this fact - but why waste energy on anger when there is so much else to do?   PLUS - my husband took all next week off as well, which is NOT what I wanted.   I wanted to be alone.  Some people don't get it...  PLUS - the coworker that is my 'backup' at work has jury duty starting next Wednesday, so I'm sure it will be one of those cases where she'll have to do a trial and be gone for six months or something and I will have to go back into work early.  Sigh.  Listen to poor Sandy whine.

Other than that whining above, it's been OK time off.  We had a nice BBQ on Sunday and an 'end of summer' bon fire.  My daughter quit her cashier job at Meijer and she burned her uniform in celebration. (Burning stuff is very cathartic for us as a family for some reason.  No, we're not pyromaniacs!   Just seeing something go up in flames calms us.)  Her uniform burst into flames!  "Nice to know that if there was a store fire the cashiers would be the first to go..." she said.  She will be working as many hours as she can on campus at the Police Station.  "More money, less stress..." she says. 

My family doctor is 'quitting' the business, so I went up there to request records to be transferred to another family doctor's office.  (I dread this - I've had two main family doctor's in my life.   Dr. Dalhstrom who delivered me in 1960 and was my doctor until 1990 and Dr. Kordish after that.  I hate finding a new family doctor!  I love having one that 'grows' up with you...)

I got stuff set to switch my checking account over to a new bank, as I'm sick of my old one....(Standard Federal became LaSalle which was purchased by Bank of America - and they are not my favorite bank so I'm going 'local' and doing all my stuff through my credit union.)  I paid bills and swept out my car and washed my car and cleaned the carpets and mopped floors and picked up the yard and...all sorts of fun vacation type things.  I am planning on my first vacation nap in about 20 minutes here as well, after I eat my oatmeal.  With the storm outside, it's perfect sleeping weather.  I've hung up some lavender from my plants to dry.  It smells wonderful - I love lavender.  I've mowed the three grass spots that are green and alive.  I've washed windows...hold me back!  I'm living life to the EXTREME.

My youngest started 10th grade this week.  We had previously purchased him a new black backpack but he couldn't find it.   He didn't even sharpen any pencils getting ready for the first day of school.   I gave him a lecture on the way in to school on the first day (as he had to be there early because the band was playing for freshmen orientation) about how he's almost 16 and he has to take responsibility for himself.  After I dropped him off and did morning chores, I went to WalMart and bought him a new backpack.  When he got home from school I showed him the backpack and told him that was this week's allowance since he 'lost' the other one.  PLUS the little goober called me the afternoon of the first day stating that he was in the car with one of his friends and, "...can I go to the store with them for school supplies?"  I said, "No.  You don't just assume I'm going to say 'yes' so you will come home now - they will drop you off.   You have chores and you didn't get prior permission..."  Deep sigh.   I have good kids, mind you.  This is a tiny infraction as he could have been shooting up heroine with friends or doing something horrible...I don't take the 'goodness' of my kids for granted, but I still have rules.  Don't mess with Momma. 

To say the least, I've been quite pissy, haven't I?  My mood has been 'low' and I've been feeling OLD and have been thinking 'OLD' in terms of being angry with everything and complaining to whoever will listen.   Now I will broadcast this feeling over the Internet that I'm feeling PISSY and MEAN and you get off my lawn and stand up straight and When I Was Your Age, By Golly....   Sigh.  Really, that is not OLD - that is just pissy.  We all need a good bout of 'pissy' from time to time.

This morning my youngest had to go in at 6:20 a.m. for jazz band.  I offered to let him drive but he declined on the grounds he wasn't awake yet.  When I turned onto the main road to our East, there was, I swear, a lizard in the middle of the road.  It wasn't a leaf or stick.  I was a lizard!  It had the 'scared lizard in the middle of a busy road so please don't squish me' stance and was just standing there.  I shook my head.  It was 64 degrees this morning - did lizards move at 64 degrees?  I have seen many odd things in my life.  This will remain one of them.  A lizard?  Maybe I watch too much Discovery Channel or something?  But seriously - a lizard?  Go figure.

So, I'm off for a nap.  I could be painting.  I really wanted to paint this week.  The living room is in dire need.   The living room ceiling is even in MORE dire need.  I will paint - but not just today.  Today I will nap. 

September 4.5 - Well, my nap did not go well.  I listened to the rain and the thunder and enjoyed that, but couldn't sleep.  (Of course it had nothing to do with the pot of coffee that was working on my brain and bladder at the same time...) 

Stewie came up to the top bunk and loved on me for a while.  He is 12 pounds now, but he still thinks he's the size of my palm and tries very hard to fit into the crook of my neck.  (That is how the vet techs carried him around when they were raising after he got dropped off there.  His litter was found in a ditch along the road.  A nice person took them to the vets office.   Stewie - well, they thought he would die.  His eyes were sealed shut and infected and he was very tiny.   The doctor worked on him until he was 'cured' as it were, and the techs would spoil him silly.  I, of course, saw him and took him home like the soft hearted idiot I am.)  Stewie is a normal sized cat now, but insists he will fit in my neck to chest area.  I laugh every time he tries this, as he will flip himself back and forth trying to nudge in under my chin, contorting into shapes I find fascinating.  He will give up eventually, accepting that he will only get petted and not coddled under my chin, and he is content to purr and drool into my face.  That only will go on so long before my risk of drowning goes past my point of being comfortable - then Stewie gets the boot. 

After the drool fest, I just got up.   "It's my vacation and I'm wasting it on a nap?"  I muttered to myself.  I came out into the living room and watched 'Spongebob' with the sound down - just staring at the vibrant colors.  "How do they do that?" I questioned.   Such wonderful blues.  Then I stared at the crappy ceiling that's in dire need of paint and decided I would at least start doing the edges.  I did the edges.  Then I got out the paint roller.  Then I did the rolling.  Then I did a second coat.  The ceiling is now uniformly white. 

And amazingly, I'm still quite pissy and down.  I thought hard work would shake that right out of me.  Sigh.  Sleep on it - I will sleep on it tonight- that always works, yes?  Wish me luck.

September 5, 2008 - So, I slept on it and feel a bit better.  I slept hard.  I didn't even dream, and normally I have "Gone With the Wind" type epic dreams.   I don't feel over my bout of self pity, but don't feel as self pitying as I did yesterday.  My cousin suggested it was the lack of sun perhaps, but Sandy thrives on dark and cooler days.  I love winter.  I am filled with energy and joy during the winter and cooler months.  I don't think it's the lack of sunshine in my case.   I think it's the lack of common sense and the ability to realize I'm one of the luckiest people on this planet.  I think that even Mother Theresa had down days, or so I would assume - but nonetheless, I will continue to get over myself.  Stupid Humans, anyway...   

I let the cats in from their night of frolic and mole killing, and out by the pool was (what I thought) a stray type cat who's eyes were gleaming in the porch light.  I talked to this 'cat' for several minutes, trying to get it to come up or leave, either one.  It bobbed it's head and looked around, but never moved from it's spot.  I gave up.

After returning from taking my son to Jazz Band, I got to see my stray 'cat' in the headlights from my car.  I had been talking to a clump of leaves that fell from the tree out back last night.  DUH.  I felt very silly and laughed at myself.  I am the Leaf Whisperer.  There is no leaf that I cannot tame...

After breakfast with Husband and Mother-in-Law, we will go pick out paint color(s) for the walls in the living room.   Once the living room is done, which I hope I conquer by Sunday, I will be more content and feel like I accomplished something during vacation.  Just getting the ceiling done was a feat in itself, as far as I'm concerned.  I can't imagine doing painting as a living - the patience people must have!  I don't have that sort of patience.  I start out all full in intention and being very careful and neat and proper, then end up practically slinging paint everywhere.  I'm surprised I don't put a can of paint in the middle of the living room and set it off with a mini-explosive device like Mr. Bean did on his one show.  I'm not even sure what color to get for the walls or the trim.

I have no sense of fashion nor coordination when it comes to colors and the like.  I can see what looks good from a purely artistic point of view, which is the artist in me (what's left of the artist in me, that is) but the whole Feng Shui and don't-wear-white-after-Labor Day and this-throw-pillow-will-look-divine concept eludes me.  I am the one who wore plaid pants with paisley shirts in High School after all, thinking it was completely OK to do so.  I lack the gene that most women carry when it comes to coordinating things.   However, I DID FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE totally coordinate at work last week!   I wore a dress and over shirt and even UNDERWEAR AND SHOES that were so totally in line with each other that I amazed myself.  This was an accident of course, not a planned match up on my part.  I noticed the coming together of my outfit when I was in the bathroom at work, hiking up my undies.  "Holy Crap!  I match!!" I proclaimed.  I had to run out and show my coworker, Judy.  "Look, I'm coordinated down to my underwear!" I proclaimed proudly, even going as far as yanking up my dress to show her the underwear.  Not everyone on my end of the building was as excited as I was...the boys declined to verify the underwear color check...

September 7, 2008 - To the people who drove by while I was dinking around in my yard this morning, I apologize.  I so forgot I didn't have shorts on, just a huge T-Shirt and my psychedelic granny panties.  I don't think the underwear I had on looked bad at all.  They are quite festive, actually, but it was not my intention to share them with the neighborhood.  Duh.  How can someone forget they don't have on shorts?  

My husband has finished casing in the new front door.  It was a trip.  The house is just a cement brick thing - and he wasn't about to rent a jack hammer to make the door fit by chipping away cement, so he build the frame inward.  Considering NOTHING in this house is lined up, flush, or plumb, it doesn't look half bad.  It's solid now, to say the least.  When I was sweeping up the debris form all the wood work, I got something stuck in the vacuum hose, and turns out there was rouge Fisher Price person from who knows how many years ago crammed up into the corner.  It looked like one of the earliest version of the things.  Lord knows how long the poor thing had been encased in the door frame.

The painting is done in the living room, and everything has been put back together and re-hung.  The color of the paint isn't what I had hoped for.  I got 'Autumn Spirit' for the main color and 'October Leaves' for the trim.  What it dried as is 'Yellow' and 'More Yellow' - So much for paint chip things.  I tried.  So the living room is now basically yellow.  It's at least all uniformly yellow and the ceiling is all one color of white.  We're batting a 1000!

September 9, 2008 - I have determined Cheerios are migratory.  Whenever we open a new box of Cheerios, suddenly there are migrant Cheerios EVERYWHERE.  Either that or the cereal itself is a form of a spore which is lighter than air and the mildest breeze spreads the Cheerios seeds all over my house.  Sigh. 

My youngest couldn't find any jeans this morning.  He looked and looked.  He blamed the parental unit's system of laundry in this house for his predicament.  (He has two pair he will wear.)  However, after spending 10 minutes staring at his side of the closet waiting for the jeans to miraculously appear, he remembered he had the jeans upstairs in his room and had never brought them down to the laundry.  I didn't express any sympathy for the boy.

September 13, 2008 - Ah, the end of a very relaxing vacation week.  Finally, I relaxed.   It was quite awesome.  It took me one whole week off before I could enjoy my second week off, but I did it!

I did a few touch up jobs paint wise and then painted the new picnic table, but other than that, I didn't do any more home improvements.  I did buy six new frames and enlarged and printed six of my youngest son's coolest photographs for the living room and hung those, but then I just relaxed - I read, I watched T.V. shows I wanted to watch - I took my time driving places - I didn't stress one bit about anything.  I think, seriously, I needed that.  It's been a very long time since I shut off the modern world and didn't do much computer work and just closed myself into my little zone and relaxed.  Contented sigh.

It has done nothing but rain.  I cannot complain, however, for it's not a hurricane nor are we under water or fleeing for our lives .  I feel badly for all the coastal people with the hurricanes and storms down south.  We just get the left overs from the various tropical storms/depressions/hurricanes.  The grass is an amazing green now.  The Tornado Sirens went off around 4:45 p.m. today, but the worst was to our North a bit.  We have a nice line of storms that look like they will visit us all night coming all the way from Kansas and below.  Kind of them to share.

Last night we went to the football game.  Shockingly, it rained.  Oh, then it rained some more.  The only time it didn't rain was when the band played at half time.  (Which is the only reason I go to football games, of course!  The half time show was awesome!  Their theme this year is 'Colors' and the intro starts off as a soft version of 'Over the Rainbow' that gets louder and louder until the band is in one long line coming at the bleachers and it just lifts you off your seats and blows you back a few feet.  I bawled like a baby.   Way too Cool!)  We sat next to my son's best friend's parents.  I had a hoot talking to Wendy.  She is a doll.  The game FLEW BY.  I didn't even think to introduce her to my husband, as he's picked my son up at their house plenty of times.  She eventually asked if my husband was "my other son?"  (He was sitting down the bleachers past my daughter and me.) I looked at her and moaned - "He's almost 50!  He's older to than me!  He's graying!"  This happens to me a lot.  People often ask me if my sister is my daughter or my husband is my son.  Sigh.  I don't feel like I look that old.  (But then again, there was my 25th class reunion when everyone thought my son was my husband, so - I guess it goes both ways.)  It was lots of fun even if it was pouring rain and we were losing.  We left at the end of the third quarter when the score was 8 million to zero (the opposing team was winning by a slight margin.)  We went back in just a bit later to pick up our youngest, who was soaked to the bone with his trombone.  He called and said, "I WANT TO COME HOME, NOW!" 

Yesterday I made two Birthday cakes - one for daughter dearest who will be 21 officially at midnight tonight.  One for Dad who will be 50 on Monday.  She wanted to have her first drink with her Dad, so she is spending the night here tonight.  We got a small amount of alcohol and will toast her 21st.  We had cake this morning for breakfast, basically, because that was the only time her big brother could make it over.  (He's working seven days a week.)  By noon we were all thoroughly hopped up on sugar.  We had a hoot.  Then I left my brood and got my hair cut and enjoyed the wonderful relaxing work of Terri, my hairdresser.  She straightened out my hair, because it takes longer and I could just Zen out in her chair - but the minute I hit the humidity and rain - SPROING.  I had my curls back by the time I got home.  No taming the curly headed beast. 

Now it's time to go liquor up my daughter.  Viva the End of Vacation!

September 17, 2008 - I spent Monday with hurricane hair.  I looked like a poorly maintained Brillo pad.  Sigh.  The humidity plays havoc on curly headed people.  I didn't even try to fight it.  If I had spray painted it red I could have made tips as a clown.  There are many places in Michigan flooded as a result of all that heavy rain.  It's times like this I am glad we don't have a basement. 

I am glad the Birthday cakes are finally gone.  One can only shove so much chocolate product down their throats without feeling like a container of lard.  Oy.  It was so good, however.  I weighed myself yesterday and only gained two pounds from my last Weight Watchers weigh in - so I was impressed.  (Considering I ate enough cake and take out food in the last two weeks to supply China with three meals a day.)

My daughter's first night of drinking was a not what I think she expected.  We started to toast her around 10 p.m.  We got her some pink lemonade tasting type rum stuff.  She guzzled the first one pretty fast as she didn't care for the taste much.  After that first one she said, "Don't feel anything yet...maybe a bit relaxed, yes..."

After she drank a Blue Margarita version of the rum stuff, she was pulling at her clothes and spreading out on the couch.  "Is it hot in here?  Man, is it HOT in here!  Are you guys hot?  It's so HOT in here!!!..." 

Drink number three had her rolling on the floor with the dogs with stomach pain.  "I think I may want to puke..." she said.  "Maybe you should!" I told her, "Maybe you can't handle alcohol..." "I think I'll just roll on the floor here, and see what happens..." she muttered.

After rolling on her stomach for a while, she popped back up to the couch, got her fourth drink and asked, "Do you guys have any frozen pizza?  I could go for some frozen pizza!"  We made frozen pizza.

After the pizza and sipping on a beer, she decided she had a headache and took two Tylenol and we all headed for bed.  "I'm quite disappointed in this whole drinking experience, Mom!" she told me.  In a three hour span she had gone through all the different stages you could possible go through. 

I didn't want to glorify the whole drinking thing, really I didn't.  I just told her,  "Getting drunk with your parents is not a funfest, I am sure!"  (I could only manage to down a full beer before I couldn't drink anymore that night.  I just can't drink anymore.   Sigh.  Dad had several drinks, but then went catatonic and just sat in his chair staring at us all with a look of wonder on his face.  Being old and on third shift must suck.) 

She has heard me wax poetic over the years about my romps with my BFF Vickie back in High School and she also has heard the stories of the nights the kids were conceived (after Mom ingested tons of booze) and how much fun I had back then, etc.  I always wanted to be very honest with my kids, but I didn't want them to think just because I did something that THEY had to, etc. 

Her boyfriend took her out on Sunday night with his cousin.  She had two drinks.  She didn't feel anything, she said.   "Mom, you broke me!  You drank so much on the night I was conceived that I have a booze immunity gene!!!"   I had to laugh at that one.  Still, I am happy she's had the experience in a control environment and can make her own decisions from here on out. 

She called yesterday to tell me she took her car to her Dad because it was 'growling' at her.  She hit a major pot hole coming over to our house on Friday, and my husband thinks it messed up the muffler.  "When she pulled in, I could hear it was the muffler..." he told me.   So now, as she says, she has a "real" college kid's car.  "The hood is buckled and the back is smashed and it growls - I'm a REAL COLLEGE KID!"   She felt much better after Dad said he'd get pricing on doing the muffler himself or taking it in.  (I'm betting that he will take it in...)  She also told me she aced her first to major tests and she was quite happy about that. 

My youngest has brought home the first wave of germs that all kids bring home when school starts.  He has been snotting and sniffling and blowing his nose and has been very tired.  I've heard of lots of kids from the local elementary that have strep already and stomach flu.  Viva the sharing of germs in public places!  Sigh.  Where does all the snot and vomit go in the summer, I'd like to know, and can't they just retire and STAY there?

I looked at my 401K last night, and sighed loudly.  Another 2000k gone.  I will never get to retire and I already knew this - but one can dream.  Oh well.  It's just money.  Humans are idiots to have created this form of exchange in the first place.  If we had chosen rocks as currency, we'd all be rich right now.

September 19, 2008 - It's gonna be a Pamprin kind of day.  I can feel it.  I wish they'd make Hershey bars with Pamprin infused in the chocolate.  That would make life so much easier!

I do so love sitting outside with the doggies in the morning in the dawning hours.  Enough light to see things and enough quiet to hear things.  This morning, there were three hummingbirds sharing the feeder (which in itself is amazing as they usually fight) an every so often they'd play Chinese fire drill and chase each other around but then land again in different places and eat some more...  There were foxes or coyotes howling with the sound of a train off in town... There were geese flying over and the sound of sandhill cranes having a board meeting down the road.  It was very wonderful and peaceful.  I love where I live.

I have to learn not to cook for 5 people.   I've been eating chicken chili all week for lunch.  (Made it Monday for supper and I'm sure my coworkers will be glad when the bean consumption in my office goes down.)   I also made a huge pot of goulash last night, and am thinking to myself, "What am I going to do with all of that???"  I should freeze it and force it on my firstborn when he visits.  I dread the time when it will be cooking for two.

I went to dinner on Wednesday night with my girlfriends from High School.  I had a margarita when I got to the restaurant.   I always have one when we 'meet' - but I was starving so this one went right to my head. When the waitress came to take our order, I had been reading the 'specials of the day' and decided I was going to have a chicken chimichunga.  So I told her, "I want a chippy chippy chunga, please!"  Duh.  I couldn't for the life of me say chicken chimichunga.  Hahaha.  My youngest was at school for trombone sectionals and he drove Mom home.  Smile. 

Stewie, our youngest addition to the cat collection who up until this week couldn't catch a building it you threw him at it ACTUALLY CAUGHT LIVE PREY!  I was out with the doggies, admiring the sunset, when I saw Stewie running down the driveway with something in his mouth almost as big as he was!   "Stewart!?  Is that a rat?" I yelled.  Seriously, I think I expected an answer from him.  I wanted him to at least stop and turn so I could see what he had in his mouth!  "Stewie!  STEWIE !!  S T E W A R T!!" I wailed.  The dogs helped by barking like idiots as they were not sure about my voice and the excitement and wonder in it.  They just barked randomly in various directions.  They didn't care if Stewart caught a rabbit or rat or huge mole.  They just knew 'Mom" was acting weird.  My newest 'great' hunter of the cat domain kept running toward the road with his catch.  (I was still so in shock from the fact he CAUGHT SOMETHING that the thought of him running to the field across the road and getting hit by a car didn't even occur to me!)  Sigh. 

The next night he spent indoors with me and he was very cocky and manly.  "Yeah, I caught a large mammal and ate it.  Yep!  I had it down in one fell swoop.   It was no match for Stewie the Great and Powerful Hunter.  I stashed the leftovers in the corn field.  Nobody is getting my mammal."  Muffy, the 11+ year old Alpha Male Cat just rolled his eyes.  "If you think you caught something big, now I can tell stories...took down a horse once by myself with my bare paws in the middle of winter..." 

September 21, 2008 - Oh my goodness, I love my life.  I let the dogs out this a.m. around 5:30 a.m. when I got up, and they were fine - doing morning dog things and scanning their immediate domain to verify security of the grounds.  It's hazy out, and the half moon was off to our East a bit at that time.  I just let them out again, and the half moon was directly above our house with a huge glowing ring around it.   The dogs ran out and Kia looked up and flew backwards barking her brains out.   Jake saw the moon too, and went nuts.  Hahahaha.  I had to laugh - I'm sure they are having flash backs to that hot air balloon.  I seriously couldn't imagine not having pets.  They provide too much entertainment.

September 24, 2008 - I purchased myself a PedEgg tonight and spent a half hour grating 47 years of calluses off my feet.  (They say on the T.V. that the PedEgg will collect the debris scraped off your foot and you can empty it out neatly, but apparently they had not tested with someone with so much dead skin from so many years of running around with bare feet.) There were piles of Sandy flakes all over the kitchen floor.  The floor is black tile, so I'm sure it made it look worse that it was but I still had to use a broom to herd up the little piles of 'me.'  I  am sitting here now rubbing my feet on the carpet, giggling to myself, because I can feel carpet in places on my feet where I've not felt carpet in years.  It's the little things...

My youngest brought home school pictures today and I had to go through the routine I always go through every year for every child - before I hang up the 8 x 11, I go through all of the 8 x 11s like a flip book and watch them mature.  Oh, yeah - and I cried.  I always cry.  It's an annual event I wouldn't miss for the world.  Pretty cool. 

My husband hurt his shoulder at work on Thursday night.  (Over used it apparently...)  He was in great pain all weekend - barely able to move his shoulder.   He couldn't sleep in bed due to the pain or in his LazyBoy due to the pain.  I convinced him (since I was in the midst of my monthly, and if you're female you KNOW how bad those cramps can hurt) that he should try some Pamprin.  (Actually, it was an insult to begin with, because he was so whiney - and I thought something made specifically for bitchy whiney pain would help him.  However, I must say in reality - Pamprin ROCKS and whenever I take it, I reach a state of Zen within 1/2 hour and all the pain goes away and everything is beautiful, but I digress...)  I finally convinced him to take some Pamprin.  He was out like a light in MY CHAIR in no time.  Seriously.  I believe his quote later that day was, "Wow, you were right - that stuff really works!"  He spent the weekend in MY CHAIR after that.  Sigh.  I find it funny how humans can be just as possessive over items as animals can.  I wanted to walk up to him and pee on his foot and bark, "MY CHAIR!  THIS IS M-Y  C-H-A-I-R!!"   I was good, however, and let him use my chair since he was in such pain.  

That changed on Monday.  He had called in sick to work on Sunday night since he still couldn't even raise or lower the leg rest lever on his own in my chair with his bad right arm/shoulder.  At 8 a.m. on Monday, I dialed his doctor's office and handed him the phone as I walked out the door to work.  He called to tell me they couldn't get him in until Tuesday at 11 a.m.  I suggested if the pain was as bad as he made it out to be he should go to immediate care in town at the local hospital.  I tried to call him later in the day to see if he was better and/or dead and/or back from the immediate medical facility.   He didn't answer for a while and finally called me back.  (Probably called while sitting in my chair...) 

"So, what did they say?  Did they take x-rays?" I asked, like a good wife should ask as I'm sitting at work with a tiny stuffed version of him in my hand, stabbing it with a ball point pen repeatedly.   "I didn't go..." he responded.  "Then where where you all morning?" I questioned as I tied dental floss around the little figure's head and swung it at a high rate of speed.  "I, um, went to Burger King.  I was hungry." 

"Um......Burger King?" I said, in a lilting voice.  I wanted to say, "You didn't move all weekend and you can't work but you were able to drive to Burger King?!!!"  I didn't.  I just sighed and went back to work.  When I got home on Monday night, he got evicted from my chair.  I made sure I plopped my butt in that thing and didn't move all night.   Smile. 

The whole 'my domain, not yours' has been cleared up now and I have regained control of the strategically place LazyBoy, which is good.  He cancelled his appointment on Tuesday since he was feeling to much better.   My whole new bottle of Pamprin is gone however...

I have been smushing down the feeding tunnels that moles have been making around one of our many sheds.  I noticed this morning as I took out the garbage that there was a fresh pile of dirt where I had previously leveled it, and the pile was heaving up and down.  "We got us a live one, boys!" I said to myself, and ran and got the hose.  I flooded his retreat tunnel and then went after the pile of dirt that was moving.  Out oozed a huge mole.   It slid out just like the ground was giving birth to it.  It was drenched and not moving very fast.  "Now what do I do..." I muttered and looked at the hose head - thinking I could whack it with that, but realized it was WAY too big to kill with a hose.  I noticed a small board by the garbage can so I grabbed that and sized up my swing, and I whacked the mole.  It was a clean shot laid between it's head and back.  No blood, just, well - WHACK.  He's still out there.  (Now I know why the cats drag the things they kill to the stoop - they want to show it off.  I wanted to say, "Look at what I caught!"  I did do that - I showed my husband and my son.  "See, I did that!"  But now I'm feeling very guilty for killing a creature and not eating it or something...)

September 25, 2008 - The mole is gone this morning.  I was going to go out and give it a proper disposal, but it's gone.  Sigh.  Either the kitties took off with it or it was only stunned and had a day long nap and felt much better and went about it's business but only after taking tiny little Tylenol.

I was thinking this a.m. that I was so upset by my husband taking over my chair and all and being a baby and I was frustrated and angry with him all weekend when in reality I should just not be that way.  One of the biggest complaints I have with him lately is his 'taking me for granted all the time' syndrome.  That is common for the kids and family members to take the wife for granted, but he's been in over drive.  So what do I do, turn around and whine about him which makes me just as guilty as he is about stuff.  Sigh.  Humans - go figure.  I do have a right to stand up for myself, and I do have a right to point out when he's being an ass, so I do, but I should just get off my high horse and realize that I can't change people anymore than people can change me.  I will continue to point out to him when he's being overly stupid - (I have the legal right) - but I will just stop whining about him being a turd and try to NOT be a turd myself.  Help me, Obe Wan...

My oldest turns 28 this weekend.  Oy.  When did that happen?  I cannot believe it.   Seriously!  Seems like just yesterday when we were bringing him home from the hospital way back in 1980 and the Loggins and Messina song "Danny's Song" was on the radio.  Quite an awesome moment for me, being all young and having a new child and all.  Tears.... We also planted a pine twig he brought home from kindergarten in 1985 for Arbor Day.  I protected that twig the first 5 years of it's life with my life.  I would fence it up and prop it back up when it got mowed over a time or two, but now that pine tree is HUGE.  The 'twig' is now a good 12 feet high and it's beautiful.   I love that thing and look at it every time I leave the house.   (It's planted out back.)  I honestly cannot comprehend that passage of time...seems all blurred together now in my mind, yet it doesn't. 

Sunrise....Sunset.....swiftly fly the years...

October 1, 2008 - Ah, autumn in Michigan.  Crisp, cool mornings ... squirrels playing with their nuts ... all is well in my little world.  I just took my son to jazz band, and we grazed a opossum, barely missed a bunny, and dodged a deer.  Autumn brings out the 'frolic' in all species.

We had fun at my firstborn's birthday dinner on Sunday.  I was quite impressed with how my youngest wrapped his brother's present.  He told me earlier in the week he was thinking of wrapping the video game he got him in Legos, but I thought he mean throwing a bunch in a box and putting the game in with them!  Man, am I out of the loop.  He actually used Legos to wrap the gift!  The video game was encased in Legos and he even did the name tag with Legos.  I was quite impressed.   I thought to myself, "Man, does he LOVE his brother!"  For the rest of us, we're lucky to get a card from the boy!  He also had to get himself the same game as he got his brother (of course) or they couldn't play together on line.  Nothing selfish about my youngest son.  Geez, what was I thinking?   When you buy anyone a video game nowadays, you have to buy two so you can both play! 

I made my first born an ice cream cake.   I froze a half gallon on mint chocolate chip ice cream in a cake pan so it was the shape of the cake, and that was the middle layer.  I made chocolate cake and chocolate frosting to encase the ice cream.  I sprinkled it with Andes mints chips and froze the whole thing.  I did everything right except take the cake out soon enough to be properly softened by dessert time.  We all were beating on our cake like a drum line in competition.  Cutting it would have been easier with a chain saw.   It was delicious, however, and I sent the rest home with him lest it end up in my belly. 

Friday night was a hoot.  My daughter came to spend the weekend with us.  My husband and I went to dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend.  That was fun in itself, but the game was awesome.  Dad did not go, just the three of us went, and sat next to the band and student section, which is always alive with "pep"... (nice way to put it.)

Going into half time we were at 0-10 (other team kickin' our lower regions) so we decided it was US - they only lose when WE'RE there.  We decided to just had fun.  We were "crushing" the other teams heads with our fingers and shooting them with our hands (picheew, picheew - gotcha) and we laughed and laughed and I just had a hoot.  Our team did manage (in the last six minutes) to WIN by 4 - scoring two touchdowns.  It was quite exciting at the end there.  Everyone was on their feet and screaming.  Awesome game.  The band has their whole show in place now, and that was very cool.  Needless to say on the way home that we were all abuzz with spazziness.  Hyper is a good word too.  We were all very hyper.  Even though my husband was asleep in his chair when we got home, we re-enacted all the good parts of the game and band show for him.  (We didn't care if he wasn't watching, we were just excited!)  In the morning he said, "Man, I didn't even hear you guys come home - I was out of it."  Both my daughter and I laughed at that one.  How could he NOT hear us come home??  We were all quite loud.   Of course, we had to re-enact all the good parts AGAIN since he missed the first 'show'...

Saturday my youngest had a band invitational to go to, and my daughter was off with her cousin.  My husband and I decided to go to dinner since there was just us two.  I couldn't find my keys.   "Where the heck did I put my keys?" I muttered as I looked all over the house.  (I had not gone anywhere after the game on Friday night.)  Finally I peeked outside and saw they were still in the ignition.  "Oh, how safe is that?"  We went to get in the car and found that I, in my post-game stupor, had left the keys not only in the ignition but on 'accessory' mode.  The car battery was dead.  Hahahahaaa.  My husband jumped my car with his truck, the whole time shaking his head at me.  "You weren't there!  You don't know how much fun it was!  You didn't feel the excitement!  I'm lucky I came home fully clothed!" I defended myself. 

Seriously, I need to get out more. 

October 3, 2008 - I went to bed last night at 8:45 p.m.  I had to.  My son (once again) waited until the night before a project was due to do it.  I couldn't watch.  I had to 'escape' - I was bound and determined I wouldn't help so I just went to bed.  His project, he does it.  He needed poster board of a certain size as well, but he never mentioned this.  I just walked away.  Sigh.  This whole process of hoping your kids get a clue someday is a long and arduous path.  How my parents did it I'll never know.  How their parents did it, I'll never know.  There should be a psychological test a person has to pass before breeding.

My youngest also almost lost his new laptop due to the fact he had 'missing' homework on a progress report.  That was a known rule when he got the thing... "If you have missing homework on any progress reports, you lose your laptop!"  I found a progress report near his 'area' in the living room on Monday night when he went to band practice.  There were two missing assignments.  We discussed this on the way home from band practice.   "Oh, those were just in class things..." he said casually.  When we got home, he hopped on his laptop and I got out my reading glasses, and looked at the report again.  His face turned a terrible shade of red when he saw me looking at it again and when I pointed out the two missing assignments were marked as homework, he ran upstairs saying something about 'not being in the mood for this...'

"I think you made him cry, Ma!" my husband said.  "Oh well, he was warned..." I sighed.  He came downstairs about 10 minutes later and I said, "If you can show me the homework - that you did do it and you have it and can turn it in tomorrow, I won't take away your laptop this time."   He got his backpack and showed me the unfinished sheets and commenced to doing them.  I read while he did his work.  I reviewed it when done and we discussed some of the things he wrote.  (They were study sheets on the book 'Lord of the Flies' and he missed a few vital points about some symbolism in the book...)   After he was done and everything was back to normal, I told him I was serious...the laptop goes if he can't do homework.  I pointed out that the homework he just did was not that hard nor demanding, and there was no reason he couldn't have done it and turned it in on the day it was due.  He agreed.  Someone please tell me I'll get through all of this...

Standing outside with the doggies this morning I saw a spotlight rotating on the clouds.  I figure it had to be coming from the next town over.  Who would be shining a spotlight at 5 a.m.?  The only logical thing I could think of was a breakfast place of some sort, but who knows.  I am fascinated by spotlights - how the light can travel so far.  This one's light was bending around low clouds.  The first time I saw a spotlight shining high in the sky was when I was little.  I remember just knowing what it was way back when, even though I asked someone for confirmation just in case I was wrong and it was an alien invasion or the like.  "Spotlight?" I asked.  "Spotlight!" was the response.  How did I know what it was back then?  Maybe from T.V.?   Odd.  Or maybe that's how I remember it in my head - I just know people were using spotlights even back in the 60s and I knew what they were and they didn't scare me at all...Sandy Trivia. 

This week has been a VERY klutzy week for me.  "The gravitational force is strong with this one, Obe Wan."  I was responding to a help call at lunch time for the copier down on the administration end of my building.  As I went to pull the ripcord off the toner (some toners come with pull tab thingy that you yank off prior to putting them in the machine) I realized I had the toner upside down, but my correction to its direction came too late.  The toner 'poofed' all over and fell out at a high rate of speed.  It was like watching a nuclear bomb go off upside down.  The mushroom of black toner spread out and circled up - it was almost poetic in it's movement and plumage.  My knees down to my shoes were black.  The whole area I was in was black.  A fine powder of toner lay everywhere.  I didn't get upset, I just sighed.  I even smiled.  What can you do - the damage was done.  Lucky for me I was at the place near the copier with hard floors, not carpet.  I assessed the situation.  I grabbed paper towels and some rubber gloves and the Oxy Clean spray stuff they had at the sink.  I cleaned it up.  A shop vac would have worked much better to get the bulk, but that means I would have left a trail of toner all the way out to the shop floor, and I didn't want to do that - too much evidence left at the scene.  (Turns out I didn't even NEED toner for that stupid thing after all.  I should have tunneled into the printer via the network to check it in the first place, but I just assumed when they say they need toner, they need toner.  Silly me.) 

Then the next day whilst at home and working in the morning I spilled a cup of coffee on the carpet.  (My version of a cup of coffee is a tall GLASS of coffee - maybe the size of two normal human sized cups.   Often I have pondered just hooking up an IV to the coffee pot and directly into my arm in the mornings to save time...)  I threw a towel on it to soak it up and went to get more coffee, which I then proceeded to spill on top of the other mess.  Oy.   I decided I had better get out my steam cleaner and suck it up.  Sometimes I wonder when the Sandy Black Hole will open beneath me and suck me into it and the rest of the known Universe...sigh. 

October 6, 2008 - Ah, Fall.   I love it.  Even when the dogs come in from outside, you can smell (not only dog) but that 'smell' of fall on the dogs.  I adore it.  They dogs are wrestling behind me now, as sibling animals will do, and besides messing up the couch cushions, I can small the fall scent on them wafting around.  Contented sigh. 

It had frosted on Saturday and Sunday morning.  The cars were icy on their roofs.  I took great pleasure in this fact only because I could watch the cats (who normally leave my car decorated with tons of cat footprints which help me identify my car in a crowded parking lot from several hundred feet away) jump on to the hood then the roof and slide clean off to the ground.   Hahahaha.  Stewie was just stunned by this fact, as he is addicted to condensed moisture on the roof of my car and will spend hours up there licking it all up even though I do give them fresh water in the house several times a day.  Apparently roof water tastes oh so much better than fresh water.  He tried to get on the roof several times, sliding wildly out of control and falling before he gave up, staring at me like I did that on purpose.  Nothing is funnier than a cat losing his footing on ice, I always say.  The older cats only tried it once - they've been there and done that and one fall to the ground due to ice is one too many for them.

My youngest announced on Saturday morning that he was sick.  He had his friend Kenny over, and I thought it was so nice that he was willing to expose Kenny to his germs.  Sigh.  After Kenny went home, my youngest curled up on the couch and you could tell he had a fever.  "Now my ear is killing me - I thought it was strep, but now my ear hurts worse than my throat..." he announced, "...I know I have a bad ear infection!"  We Tylenol'd him up and kept him down and quiet and forced him to drink much orange juice and liquids.   Yesterday I thought to myself that this is his busiest week out of the school year for band, three competitions and a band practice and an ortho appointment and homecoming on Friday to boot - so I took him to immediate care on Sunday morning.  We were in and out in 1/2 an hour - his ear infection confirmed by the doctor on duty.  I dropped the boy off at the house and went to get his medicine.  I just wanted him to start meds on Sunday and have a full day's dose in him before this busy week.  I really wish that parents could take courses themselves to get certified to diagnose ear infections or the like.  You know when your kid has one - the only thing you lack as a parent is the right to write a prescriptions. 

I turn 48 this week!  I don't 'feel' 48.  I feel like, well - ME.  I have so enjoyed getting older.  (Not the part where every time you move your joints sound like a fresh bowl of Rice Krispies or all the other physical stuff that goes down hill after you turn 30 such as your eyesight taking a crap and small print becomes a challenge...but the learning !)   Life becomes more amazing EVERY DAY.  I am constantly amazed.  I shake my head a lot and will comment to myself over how I am just AMAZED by something.  I have acquired an appreciation for things around me - for emotions and friends and nature, etc.   I am glad I got to enjoy all of this before I kicked off this mortal coil.  I thank the Lord every day for my life.  I may complain (alas, I am human) but all in all - this whole getting older thing ROCKS!

October 8, 2008 -This is an Ode to Odie. 

Yesterday my husband took Odie to be put to sleep.  Sigh.  I couldn't do it.  I told him, "I just can't!"   I've sat with many animals over the years as they've been euthanized, but I couldn't stand the thought of putting Odie down.  I was thankful my husband understood this and did it for me.  He was very emotional about the ordeal himself.   I had always denied request for Odie to be put down because he was still had his mind about him.  Lately, however, he was getting lost under the bed or under the tables, or getting wedged behind floor lamps.   The world was his bathroom since he never quite knew if he was indoors our outdoors.  He was in constant pain.   He hated being touched...sigh.

We've had Odie forever.  Seriously, I can't remember when we got him anymore.  It was either 1991 or 1992 - I am not sure.  Nonetheless, he was with us FOREVER.  He was quite the little spaz in his youth, bouncing off of walls with Odie joy and running and playing with a zest I've never seen before or since.  As he got older, he lost his eyesight and then his hearing...like we all do eventually.  He also constantly licked things.  He licked the couch, the pillows,  himself - he was ALWAYS licking. 

Odie was so tiny when we first got him that he would sleep in the crook of my neck.  He was constantly on the look out for body heat.  He was a mix of mini-doberman and chihuahua.  He was MY dog!   Smile.  (Or was I was HIS human??)

Some of my most favorite memories of Odie were always full of laughter.  After we got him in February and after a big snow, I went to let Odie out to potty and he got off his chain.  Of course, being young and curious, Odie proceeded to take off down the driveway at a high rate of speed, scooting down a tire track left in the snow.  All I can really remember is me calling out to my husband, "Odie's run off!  Go Save Him!!"  I was so upset.  My husband did.  He took out after Odie, and I can still see this large man running and calling after a tiny little doggie in the snow just because his wife was in a panic.   (All you could see of Odie was a black tail above the white snow as he maneuvered through the lone tire tracks down our driveway, up the road, then into the neighbor's driveway...)

When my daughter was small, she'd play with Odie upstairs, and there was the one occasion she 'baked' him in her plastic Fisher Price oven.  He was so small, he fit right in there - so she put him in.  (She always said it seemed logical to her small brain at the time...)  We would laugh about that for years.  There was another time that she had him outside, and I was upstairs painting...when I came down, I saw her in a heap on the lawn crying.  I looked out to see what was wrong with her, and there was Odie in the middle of the road stopping traffic from both ways, drivers trying to herd him but he was just barking and running in circles.  A seven pound dog could shut down a street - quite impressive if you ask me.    

As my son was leaving for school yesterday morning, he stopped and came back in and got down on one knee and said goodbye to Odie.   He petted him for several minutes, then he said in the kindest, gentlest voice I've ever heard come out of that boy,  "We'll see ya later, dude..."  Of course I cried.  Sigh.  My son gave me one huge hug.

My daughter sent an E-Card last night, and that too made me cry.  I will quote her here...

~Odie lived a great 17 years, enjoying a multitude of experiences from running into the road while his master cried in the yard, to barking and screeching and crying like an angry widowed banshee inside house while everyone was trying to enjoy a pool swim, to even spending some quality time baking with a little girl and doing some oven time. :)

I am sorry about your loss Mom, of one of your longest living and loyal pets. Odie was a great dog and well miss him bouncing around the house. But maybe it was just his time to go, since he couldn't even really enjoy licking the couch because he was having trouble finding his way there first...

As my great younger brother said- "We'll see ya later, dude...”~

October 13, 2008 - I had quite a historic 48th Birthday, I must say.  My cousin and sister both left me voice mail at work, singing 'Happy Birthday.'  Deb got me a cool card that played 'Louie Louie' when you opened it up, so I had to leave many people voice mail throughout the day with 'Louie Louie' playing.  Giggle.  The Customer Service girls got me a lovely balloon bouquet and gifts galore.  (One of the gifts was a cute pink and orange gag tie, and I made my coworker Doug wear that around for a while and he had to, because I was Birthday Queen, as he so duly noted.)  The Quality girls got me a beautiful pumpkin flower bouquet (in a real pumpkin!) and a balloon.  Celia got me the coolest pumpkin 'snow' globe thingy with lights and shiny stuff and it's like a disco ball and I had to stare at it all day plus a cool Halloween spider.  I received cards and hugs and email messages all day.   It was amazing.  My husband sent a huge flower arrangement with balloons.   (One balloon for each of us.)  My friend and coworker, Judy, made me a lovely and delicious Weight Watchers pineapple cake.  (Although I doubt if one eats like half of the cake that it's considered WW friendly, not that I did that, but I did - so ....)

I got all of the wonderful show of love home and arranged on my kitchen table that night after opening my Birthday cards I got in the mail.  I hung up all my cool cards on the wall.   My youngest son came downstairs and around the corner and said, "Whoa!  Man, people must like you or something...."  I think people do like me, as my son says.  I have always been blessed.  I can't deny that I have had 48 awesome years on this earth and I do not take my blessings for granted.  People around me are very good to me.  Pretty darned cool.  Contented sigh.

My sister took me to lunch on Friday and got me a cool pumpkin candle holder and candles, and a coffee coaster and awesome slippers.  They are fuzzy but with a super rubber grip bottom, and I was threatening to climb the walls like Spider Man that night at home.  (I bet I could have if my downward gravitational pull wasn't so strong.)

My daughter and I went to the football game on Friday night.  It was our homecoming game.   The stands were packed.  We had to parked at the nearby Middle School, as the parking lots around the High School were overflowing.  The score ended up being 7 to 44 (we had the seven.)  Sigh.  We played Paw Paw, who has been doing quite well this year.  I took my rock along to the game.  Edi the Rock had red and white pom poms and that was fun.  (Edi is one of the cool rocks my friend Kathy sent me from New York.  Edi had a day at work with on Friday as well, and then the game.   I am doing a picture book for my friend about Edi's adventures.)  Edi's red and white pom poms came from pens I found at a local store.  I had searched for something to use as little pom poms but couldn't find any locally - so when I saw these Mickey Mouse light up pens on sale, with the fuzzy red and white feather things on them - TAH DAH!  I bought the pens, killed the mice on top and ripped off the fuzzy parts.   Edi now had official Bulldog Pom Poms.

We didn't celebrate my birthday at home until yesterday when all the kids could be here.  My oldest took us out for dinner so I could have sushi- as I love sushi, and my husband got a cake for me from my favorite bakery (NOT a Weight Watchers cake - this thing was pure lard and sugar and butter that went straight to my viscera, I'm pretty sure...) and my daughter got me the coolest Jim Shore angel with the words "Love Blooms Here" on her. 

Last night when I was burning papers, I counted 117 Sandhill Cranes flying by over head.  They were headed East in groups of 15 - 30.  Some were in smaller 'herds' but they were all very noisy.  Just when I thought they were done flying by, MORE flew by.  I know Sandhill cranes enough to know that if I stood out there too long counting them, I would start counting them over again, as they tend to fly in circles in a random fashion before getting to where they want to go.  The Sandhill Crane Fest was held this weekend at the Baker Sanctuary, but who needs to drive there when I have a Crane Fest right outside my door? 

October 14, 2008 - As I pulled into my driveway after dropping my son off last night for marching band practice, I heard a TERRIBLE noise in the sky.  Seems the geese police were harassing sandhill cranes that were flying over head.  DUH!   Hahahaha.  It made laugh out loud and shake my head.  The geese apparently laid claim to the corn field across the road, and just the mere fact so many cranes were flying over head to the east prompted them to protect "their" field by sending out waves of honkers to give chase to the cranes.  The sound was deafening!  Cranes are loud enough, but when you throw in a hundred geese, HOLY CRAP.   I stood there in awe of the noise and the chaos.  The cranes could care LESS about that field - as they were on the way to their night spot off to the east, but those geese were NOT going to let anything with wings near their field.  Times like that I wish I had a video camera attached to my retinas. 

October 15, 2008 - Yesterday my friend and old high school classmate, Deb, brought me in the booklet we got at our senior breakfast some 29 years ago.  I had to laugh!   Oh my.  The word 'mimeograph' was used.  I have not heard that word in decades.   If we had MSWord back then, the pages would have been beet red from spelling error notices!  This was all hand typed.  I posted it on our class website so I could share the joy with everyone.  I'm still laughing.  I was voted 'best sense of humor' and 'most carefree' and 'class clown.'  Imagine that.  

Monday I had taken a the leftover chicken wrap my daughter had on Saturday when she was over for my lunch.  The spinach wrap was contained in red and white paper.  I decided at work on Monday that I was hungry enough for lunch at 10 a.m., so I was eating that wrap in it's wrap and working intently.  Laura came down to ask me a question but she stopped and cocked her head to one side and said, "Sandy, you're EATING the PAPER!"  Sure enough, I was chomping away at my 'lunch' and consuming the outer red and white paper that enclosed it.   I amaze myself sometimes.  So far everything has 'come out' OK, so I don't think I caused my innards any major trauma by consuming large amounts of paper.

Speaking of things 'coming out' - on Saturday I went to get my roots dyed and my hair cut, and while I was sitting there in the chair with all that goop on my hair, I coughed.  I realized while the cough was in progress that I had passed gas as well, but it was more than just gas.   Sigh.  I stood up and casually made my way to the bathroom to clean myself up, trying not to draw attention to the fact I had just passed 'solid' gas as it were...

The girls were teasing me when they saw me heading to the bathroom because I had brought a cup of coffee with me to the hair shop and Michelle said, "Oops, Sandy's gotta go - we all know what coffee does to her!"  Yes, normally coffee does inspire me to poop with gusto, however 99% of the time I am in a bathroom and sitting on a toilet when it happens.  It made the trip to the bathroom seem more justified so I went with it..."Yep, that old coffee has worked it's magic, I'll be back in a minute!" I said in the most lilting voice I could muster as I sauntered to the bathroom.

I cleaned myself up, and while I was in there I was looking at myself in the mirror thinking, "Ah, Sandy - so it begins, yes?"  I blamed it on age, but I know I'm not the first to have a bodily function "kick in" on it's own accord without prior written consent from the brain.  We all have (or will) experience this eventually.  Sigh.  I didn't get too upset and I just carried on - but then again I could be covered in fire ants and honey and still get my hair done because I love having my hair done.  (It turns out I spent most of Saturday in the bathroom with an upset stomach and it's after effects - I believe it was the nachos I had at the football game the night prior - but I did get a lot of reading done, so it wasn't too bad after all...) 

October 19, 2008 - I love standing outside in the wee hours of the morning as dawn creeps over the horizon while I listen to nature.  I try to take advantage of these moments.   I come from a long genetic line of people who tend to lose their hearing as they age.  I am already quite advanced in that area, so I enjoy what I can whenever I can.   (Although if you ask my kids, they will tell you I have supersonic hearing and can hear them think things before it's even out of their mouths, but that is another story...)

The red winged blackbirds were covering three trees in my neighbor's yard and 'talking' very loudly.  The sandhill cranes were en route from their night nesting area to their day feeding area and were VERY LOUD.  The geese were heading in the opposite direction as the cranes, and they, too, were LOUD.  It was a cacophony of bird voices.  It often makes me laugh out loud as I listen and watch.  I could hear the turkeys over in the woods, as well.  In all that chaos of noise, and it still seemed very peaceful.  The doggies were sitting there next to me, enjoying it as well.  (Or due to the fact they have no opposable thumbs, they were stuck with me until I opened the door again to come in...)

Yesterday I mowed the lawn and took my camera with me - hence the shots you see here.  The whole while I was mowing was like a free show from Mother Nature.  The colors are astounding. 

My youngest was 'busted' on Friday, when I logged in to the website they have for parents at our High School.  His chemistry grade was standing at D+.  Strangely, I didn't get upset TOO much - I stared at it a while, then when he came downstairs to get ready for school I just tapped the monitor.  He came up and looked.  His eyebrows raised and he looked at me.  "I don't find this acceptable.  This will be fixed, yes?" I asked.  "Yes..." was his response.  I didn't say anything more about it, although I did email his teacher.  I did mention that all the 'work' he's been doing at night for his 'knight in duct tape' costume could perhaps be put toward studying for chemistry class.  I doubt this idea even flitted across his mind's eye.   He has spent hours at night making a knight's outfit from cardboard and duct tape.   He has gone through two rolls of duct tape.  His little circle of friends have all done the same thing.  I am sure that various makers of duct tape have pooled their advertising dollars and subliminally sent these type of ideas via television to our children's brains.  I suppose that it's much better than them shooting up on a street corner or shooting someone at a street corner, right?  Duct tape will yet save the world.

I feel so sorry for the older lady that rides her bike past my house.  I am happy she is exercising, mind you, but the poor dear ALWAYS pedals by when I am outside doing something odd.  (OK, those of you who know me personally KNOW this pretty much a constant state for me, but there are times I even amaze myself.)  Example:  I was outside trying to get the cats to come into the house in the morning.  They were perched on top of my car getting tons of cat paw prints all over.  They were not moving and ignoring my calls.  I stood there staring at them for a while, then decided to use my awesome ninja skills on them.   (I really just wanted to see how high this old woman could kick.)  So I was grunting a lot and kicking my leg up as far as I could.  It was light enough out for riding a bike, and the lady rode by while I was making odd noises while attempted to 'ninja' the cats.  I couldn't see her face, but you could almost tell she increased her speed at that point after looking my way for a bit.  Then there was the morning I was out there and out of the blue I decided I was going to try to dance like a cartoon character I had seen on a show the night before.  Hips were flying one way while upper torso was flying the other.  I was laughing as I was doing it and talking to myself.  Sure enough, the lady rode by again.  She stared longer this time.   By now I'm sure she is convinced that my house is a house for 'special' people.   I am sure she looked for the invisible fence that would keep the 'special' people from wandering out of the yard. 

October 20, 2008 - A quote from a book I'm (re)reading, 'Heretics of Dune' by Frank Herbert..."The mind of the believer stagnates.  It fails to grow outward into an unlimited, infinite universe."  I like that quote.  It's kind of true.  

The wee one is sick again with a cold.  He's snotty and has a sore throat.  All the kids are good (were good) at telling me when it's time to go see a doctor.  He's not ready to go see one.  He says it's just a cold this time.  I will rely on his senses.  The kiddlettes were trained early on to know when it was time to go see someone with a fondness for wearing stethoscopes.

Have you ever written a check and while you were writing the date, have you ever stopped and stumbled on the year... "2008?  I swear I was just writing checks with 1978 on them!!"  I have those moment periodically where I'm stopped dead in my tracks.  "Wasn't I just in High School?..."  I am sure these moments will continue to increase as I get older, however I am still amazed by them.  It is as one of the main 'guys' in your brain has been ignoring 'normal' life, just keeping your heart and lungs going on autopilot, and suddenly decides to watch you for a while as it's probably getting audited or something and has to update all it's records, and that is when the brain realizes a whole lot of time went by and it missed it.  Oh, sure - the lower lobe processes have been right on top of stuff, but you get the main brain involved, all heck breaks loose.

I can always tell when Stewie the cat gets out into the dog pen at night.  (He will sneak out there during the dog's last potty call and hide in the dark so I don't see him.)  In the morning when I let the dogs out, there will be a couple of 'poop pyramids' that Stewie made during the night.   He makes perfect four sided pyramids around his areas of potty.  There will be unending scrape marks where he's spent considerable time fashioning these pyramids to preserve his pooh for future generations.  My pets bring me great joy.

The sandhill family that I consider 'mine' was at the end of the neighbor driveway yesterday.  The driveway has an indent at the end that collects water, so the cranes will stand around drinking from their 'watering' hole before walking at leisure through the yard to eat bugs.  I was laughing at them yesterday, as the young ones were attacking the falling leaves.  As soon as a gust came up and blew leaves directly on them, the young ones would jump and flap and kick at the leaves.  Very entertaining.  I think of 'my' cranes as highly intelligent birds, but when you get right down to it, they're just not that bright...

October 23, 2008 - I believe my underwear is molting.  It seems every pair I own has suddenly started shedding it's elastic bands.  I would not have even noticed this had they done it one at a time, let's say, but they all went on a structural degradation jihad at once.  Perhaps it's a terrorist plot...perhaps it's shoddy construction of said panties...we'll never know.  Maybe it's just time Sandy got new underwear!   They don't make 'em like they used to.

Please mark this down somewhere - my youngest son ASKED ME TO HELP HIM STUDY FOR CHEMISTRY!!  He actually asked ME! ("...I'd like to accept this award not only for myself, but for all the Moms out there who have 15 year old males...")

Maybe he asked me to help because he knows I know his grade and he knows the consequences of that grade and wants to improve it so he can leave the house eventually in a free state and not in shackles with a cattle prod pointed at his head.  It doesn't matter, he asked me to study with him, so we studied together for almost an hour.  We laughed.  We always laugh a lot when learning together.  Plus, I know now that ClO is hypochlorite and ClO2 is chlorite and ClO3 is chlorate and ClO4 is perchlorate - (you say toMAto and I say tomaTO - let's call the whole thing off....)   None the less, it was FUN and I believe he actually learned and used his brain.   Sure, afterwards he played with duct tape, but he did it for chemistry  - they've been studying moles in Chem (mole as in "the amount of substance unit" not the "get out of my lawn, you dirty mole or I'll whack you!"  and apparently the teacher said they could bring in mole models - whacking type not scientific type as a humorous thing - who really knows, but he made two duct taped moles to take in.   I doubt he will be rewarded any extra credit for such creations, but they were still kind of cute.

October 29, 2008 - I just spend 2.75 hours with my son going through nine weeks worth of learning material on the subject of Chemistry.  I am pretty sure if you look down at your feet right now you are going to see my brain rolling by.  Please pack it in bubble wrap and send it back to me if you would be so kind...

Learning most of this stuff myself for the first time or relearning it after 29 years and trying to stimulate the "lesson-recall" functionality of my son's brain, well, let's just say we both ended up collapsed on the floor in odd contortions doing a fine imitation of people recently run over by large tanks.  "Good Lord, Boy!  Why would you not study each new day's worth of material THE NIGHT YOU LEARN IT?  How could you even begin to expect we could study for an exam and LEARN nine weeks worth of brain numbing information all in one night!?!" 

He was kind enough to remind me that I was the only one insisting we study for the exam since he was perfectly willing to take the exam with no prior mental rehash or concern involved.  "Seriously, half that stuff on that study sheet for the exam - I'm pretty sure we didn't even cover in class..."  Of course, once you showed him the notes and homework related 'that stuff' he would say, "Oh, yeah - I guess we did."  Either he's doomed come exam day or I need large amounts of alcohol.

We had to study for Chemistry exams tonight as tomorrow night is his indoor marching band concert.  He won't have time to study for exams tomorrow night.  I seriously hope some of the stuff we barely survived tonight sticks to something close to his memory center.  We didn't even come close to reviewing English, Art, or Math.  Sigh.  Calgon, where the heck are you now?

Other than the stress of exams (for me, not for my son) life has been pretty even keel.  The leaves are falling and it's cold enough to kick the furnace on from time to time.  The economy is scarier than any horror movie I've seen in the last 20 years.  I try not to fret about that sort of thing since both of my parents were raised during (maybe we should start calling it the 'First') Depression, so I know how to get by on next to nothing if the need arises.   However, just because I can make a meal out of a piece of paper and a tree leaf doesn't mean things in our country and abroad won't get very chaotic.  That is the part I fear.

Sigh. I should go to bed now.   Visions of atoms, neutrons, and isotopes can dance in my head and lull me to sleep...covalent bonds can cuddle me into to slumber land...anything pertaining to quantum numbers or significant numbers should be considered a threat to national security and sent to Guantanamo...don't forget to set your clocks back one hour this weekend and change the batteries in your smoke detectors...Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore... 

November 5, 2008 - Elections are over.  I went to vote before going in to work yesterday.  I got there at seven a.m. and still ended up being voter #63.  The 45 minutes wait to vote was made very entertaining by a sweet little girl named Dorian and her brothers and sister.   Dorian was kind enough to regale me with stories from their vacation and antics of her little brother during the trip, which she did in a serious poker face manner as if it was just facts being stated, but the lines delivered were so humorous that I couldn't help to let out loud belly laughs.  After the vacation story, she went on to explain the process of voting to me (as they teach that in schools) and she had 'voted' in class.   Seriously, without Dorian the wait would have been boring.  All those kids were so well behaved and pleasant. 

My daughter has been so excited about voting in her first Presidential election that she has called several times late at night to leave a message on the phone.  She is so full of life that she eeks it all over and the messages always made me laugh - "Mommy!  Mommy!  It's almost time to vote!  Mommy!"   I took the opportunity to call her the minute I was in the parking lot after voting, and left her the same type of message.   "Chelsea!  Chelsea!  I just voted!  I was 63rd to vote!   Chelsea!  Call and tell me what number you are when you vote!   Chelsea!" 

Later in the day I had a voice mail at work that started out in a serious tone with, "...I'd like to think I changed the world today..."  It was my daughter letting me know she was voter number 750 and would be at the house when I got out of work.  I got pizza for dinner last night to celebrate her first major voting experience (which seemed as good excuse as any to get out of cooking on my part.)

My friend Judy votes in a small town to our East.  She told me that there were several of the normal white official cardboard dividers they use to keep people from looking at each other's voting sheets, but apparently they had run out so there were two that had been fashioned out of old boxes that had been cut up with the logos and writing of what used to be in the box visible for all to see.  "You know you're from a small town when you see something like that!" she laughed.

My youngest son's marking period exams are over.  He barely got by with a C- on his Chemistry exam.  As I drove him to jazz band this morning I explained how this was a new day - a new start - so TAKE GOOD NOTES AND PAY ATTENTION.  He didn't argue with me, he just said, "Yeah."   Considering he's a 15 year old teenage male and it was 6:15 a.m., that "yeah" was practically a "I do so totally agree with you, Mother, and thank you for the kind reminder!"

Stewie was stalking an owl the other night.  We had a hoot owl some where in a tree right behind the house making his presence known by being very loud and, well - hooty.  Stewie got on his belly and slithered to the back yard in search of the hooting creature.  I was worried that the owl would merely laugh at Stewie then swoop down and carry him off for supper.  I tried to lure Stewie back to the house best I could, but for being such a stupid cat, he's got some moves.  I finally faked him out with a feint to the right, and then fell on him as he dodged left.  (If an old fat lady could catch him, a healthy owl would have had no troubles whatsoever, so technically I saved his life...)

November 7, 2008 - My husband asked me to leave the laundry for him for this morning, as he wants to use up the hot water so he can flush out the hot water heater.  I was just devastated.  "How can you expect me NOT to do laundry?!  I will just ceases to exist!" I proclaimed.  (Hahaha.  I have quite the pile waiting for him.  He can have it.  Viva hot water heater flushings!)

I saw the spotlight on the clouds again in the dark this morning while standing out with the doggies.  "Hmmm, wonder where that is coming from?  Maybe I'll drive over there and see who has that spotlight..." I told the dogs.  Then it hit me like a slap in the face with a wet glove - People use spotlights just so people like me will say, "Hmmmmm, maybe I'll drive over that way and see where the spotlight is coming from!!"   Evil advertising gimmick, anyway.  I'm so gullible.  Speaking of which...

I was at WalMart last night, and passed a display for Oreo Cookies.  I am a sucker for 'new' stuff and/or shiny packages.   This wasn't shiny, just 'new' and it was Oreo Candy Cane Cookies.  Same look to them, I am just assuming the filling is candy cane flavored, and of course I bought a pack because it was new, and there they were in the aisle and everything.  My son has friends over tonight so I thought that could be their treat.  I don't like Oreos so it's not an issue to have them sitting on the counter.  Alas, my weak mental state as a human constantly leaves me victim to clever advertising agencies...sigh.  I probably would have purchased TWO packages had they had any shiny packaging on the outside - Throw in holographics and I'm all over it.  (If they packaged Oreo Dog Poop Flavored cookies, I would most likely buy them if they were in a cool new holographic type shiny wrapper....)

Tomorrow is the Holiday Parade.  I love parades.  I can't wait.  From the sounds of it, my son's band was demoted from playing for Santa and has a position early on in the parade.  Our school has played for a lead in to Santa (the last person in the parade of course) for years.  I was sad to hear that they were not playing lead in for Santa.  I am sure my kid does not think of this as a demotion.  They are just there to play, it's required.   I, on the other hand, lament the position switch.  Oh well, I'm 48 years old.   I'm sure I will get over it soon.  There will still be a lot of high school bands and floats and local news personalities to stalk.

I finally broke down and bought myself two new books.  My son and husband saw me re-reading the six 'Dune' books again, and suggested highly that I get myself some new books, geez!!   Once I calculated that I have read the six books in that 'Dune' series approximately 23 times each, I decided to get new books.  I bought the next two books in the series written by Frank Herbert's son, Brian along with Kevin Anderson.  I had resisted for a long time now.  NOBODY could write like Frank, but I was desperate for new material.   The first night I got the books, I read until page 141 in 'Hunter's of Dune' - I would have read more, but my eyes went too fuzzy to see the words.  I picked up the night after and read until page 341.  My eyes were REALLY bad then, and I had to have my son help me shut down the computer, I could barely see!  Last night I gave my eyes a break, and did not continue reading.  I am happy to be reading something new, but sad it's not Frank writing it.  Sigh.  He had a way of writing.  His son and Kevin do OK, but it's not Frank.  They have introduced some plot twists that I myself would never have come up with, however, so that's cool.  I miss Frank.

My son gets his braces off the day before Thanksgiving!  WOOT!  I can't wait.  He is not as excited as I am.  I am excited because now I won't find all that CRAP that gets stuck in his braces (that he blows out with his WaterPik) adhered to my bathroom sink and mirrors!  I am excited because I won't see his face contort like a wild animal on acid with it's foot in a trap when something gets stuck in his wires while he eats!  Woot!  It's the little things...

November 10, 2008 - I stand corrected.  My children were kind enough to tell me that our band didn't always lead in Santa at the Holiday parades of the past 8 years or so.  "Mom, you were just too busy jumpin' up and down and screamin' to notice where we were..." was the general consensus.  (Obviously,  I would be a terrible witness at a court trial but no doubt I'll be a fun dementia patient in 20-30 years, or tomorrow for that matter...)  The parade was WONDERFUL.  My daughter and her boyfriend met us up there, as well as my oldest son.  My daughter was a bit sad because she forgot her camera and the people who normally sold donuts and cocoa at our preferred parade viewing site were not selling this year, so she was even sadder.   (We all have visions of how things should go in our head and when things don't go that way, well, sometimes it can be depressing, especially when it's 'that time' to begin with...)  She was huddled in by her Dad for warmth and comfort.  We tried to make her feel better by suggesting that she just take some photos from last year's parade and flip 'em over and call them this year's parade, but she did not find that as funny as her brother and I did. 

We were all standing around gabbin' when I heard the police car "start up" siren, and immediately I was by the road, jumping up and down and clapping, forgetting everyone else around me completely.  My daughter came up to join me by the road "to keep me from wandering off."   The boys stayed back by the wall.  When Bill Steffen and Matt Kirkwood from Channel 8 news went by, I bellowed, "Meteorologist ROCK!"  My daughter was infected by my spazziness, and she too was waving and enjoying the floats.  The boys were laughing at us being 'us' but soon they joined us by the road as well. 

My husband leaned over and said, "Does Vicksburg have five tubas?" and I said, "Heck Yeah!" and he said, "Well, then -  here they come!!"  Our band was huge compared to the previous bands and took up the whole street.  Awesome site.  I went nuts.   The new band director taught them a parade song this year called 'Eliza Jane' and I have seen them do it at the football games, but never in a big parade setting such as Saturday.  They play the cool cadence on the drums and sing the song, then there is a place where the band breaks up and runs through the crowd.  They were at that part just as they were by us, so my youngest son ran up to me and grabbed me in a bear hug and then high fived his siblings and ran about as the rest of the band members were doing, then they fell back in to line and finished up.  The ending of the song is awesome.   As they played the song they stopped, turned south and just blared as they bent at the knees and wailed up to the sky.  The crowd responded with gusto.

Kia the dog woke me up at 4 a.m. this morning as she had to potty and she had to potty NOW!  I let her out and decided to stay up, since once you see a dog poop at 4 a.m. the thrill of it all makes it impossible to go back to sleep.  Sigh.  I started my coffee and fed the dogs early...  It is still snowing a little - more of a frozen pelting type snow but still, it's snow.  There is a small build up on the ground and cars that will be gone as soon as the sun rises, I'm sure.  I was quite pleased with the snow.  I called my BFF Vickie in Florida last night to tell her it was snowing.  Amazingly enough, she said it wasn't snowing there! :)

I have a filling tomorrow afternoon at the dentist.  I had cancelled my previous appointment several months ago due to work, but then I never rescheduled it because I hate the dentist as we all well know.  (I don't hate the dentist himself - he's a sweetie - but I still have mild panic attacks when forced to lay in a chair for any length of time where I can't close my mouth when I want to.)  The girls at the dentist office are just wonderful, seeing that I never rescheduled, they started a "call Sandy every five minutes" campaign to get me to make a new appointment.  I finally called them back and said, "OK, I give in!   You win!"  I will take my 'happy' pills an hour before I leave for the dentist, and then take the last one as I get there, and then I've asked my youngest to walk up from school and drive Mom home.  Sigh.  Humans - go figure.

November 17, 2008 - Well, by golly - it snowed!  Muffy and Stewie were waiting patiently for someone with opposable thumbs to wake up and let them outside this morning.  What was Muffy's reaction when he walked outside at 5 a.m. and saw that the ground was white?  "Oh, it snowed and stuck a bit ... how lovely for everyone!  What a festive look!  NOW LET ME BACK IN !!!"  He's too old to deal with snow anymore.   Stewart, on the other hand, bolted out too fast to snap any pictures of him.  Taffy the cat didn't even bother getting off the chair.  He had seen it snowing before we went to bed and after sniffing the air from the front door he stayed put where he was.

I lived through my filling!  Woot!   I made little stickers for everyone at the office that said, "Sandy had a filling and I still have all of my fingers!"  I came home and promptly passed out, however.  The pills I take make me very sleepy AFTER I finally relax.   The dentist even used the gas on me, as he was taking no chances.  Smile.  

I have done some Christmas shopping and technically am almost done with it.  I am NOT going overboard and I set a limit.   I don't know what will happen a month from now with the economy, or if any of us will have jobs.  Sometimes it's kind of scary.  I like the way the kids did their Christmas Wish Lists this year.  They had to email me their list, then when I was done with each individual list,  I took off what I got them and forwarded it to the other two siblings - so they could pick and choose what to get the other.  Sure, it takes away some of the mystery, but it's better than buying something twice, and maybe Santa still has an little surprise up her sleeve!

Yesterday the kids all went to a movie together, and then went to hang out at my oldest son's house afterwards.  I had a a whole day to myself, so what did I do?  No!  Get your head out of the gutter!!  

I cleaned.  I pulled out the couch and swept.  I used the hose and extensions to do cob webs in the corners.  I got on chairs to dust high.   Why I would find this relaxing I have no clue, but I do.  My husband was sleeping, being a third shifter and all, so I was ALONE.  I miss being alone sometimes.  So when I am alone - I clean?  Go figure!  Still, it was something I felt like doing.  Nobody in the way - I could do it in 'spaz' mode - a little here then a little there go back to the first, etc.  I eventually hauled the vacuum upstairs and was going to do both bedrooms, the 'spare' bedroom and my son's bedroom.  I only got the spare room done before the sheer ICK of it overwhelmed me.  Holy Crap.  I washed the bedding on the spare bed and I sucked up enough hair from the animals on the floor to make blankets for all third world nations.   (All this time when I asked my youngest to sweep upstairs, I wonder what he was doing?)  I took an hour on the spare bedroom just getting into corners and sucking down cobwebs.  That was enough for me.  I finally just gathered up all the garbage from both rooms - the empty pop and juice cans, the glasses, and all the cardboard and duct tape debris on the floor, and hauled all of that downstairs.  The wee one will clean his own room today after school.  Sigh.

Hahahaha - I just got back from taking my son to morning jazz band, and when Stewie saw me pull in to the drive way, he came out from behind one of the sheds and 'ran' up to me.  It wasn't exactly running - he was stepping very high as if to avoid touching the snow.  Hahahaha.  I could just imagine what he was thinking - "Ewww, wet!   Ewww, wet!  Ewwwww - wet!"  He was very happy to come indoors.  The snow is very wet and when I was cleaning off the car this morning, I ended up being two inches taller.  The snow would pack on to the bottom of my tennis shoes.  There are shoe shaped chunks all around out there.  Smile.  I adore this kind of weather.  I am the only one in the entire United States, I think, that does. 

I filled my gas tank up over the weekend, and it took me a few seconds to realize that the final dollar amount was correct.  At first I said out loud - "What's wrong with this thing?  Is it broken?"   It took me a bit to remember why it didn't take my entire pay check to fill my gas tank.   I have been trying to keep the tank full while the prices have been lower.  I can see it one of these days, we wake up and gas is 14.89 a gallon.   Stupid dependency on fossil fuel, anyway. 

November 21, 2008 - It is 17 degrees here this morning.  Frost on the windows of the car and the yard is alive with the sparkles of diamonds that reflect the porch light.   Very pretty.  The roads are not bad HERE although I am not sure about over by Lake Michigan.  They had a lake effect snow warning last night.  The nicest thing about this cold weather is that the dog poop is so much easier to clean up, being frozen and all.  Frozen piles are almost like convenient take out packages in themselves.  (One must always look on the bright side!)

On Monday we had ice and snow, and after preaching to my son NOT to slip and fall on his way out to the car, I proceeded to walk out the door to go to work later and I fell.  I fell hard.  I'm a big girl.   I fall with gusto.  You no doubt felt the aftershocks where you live.  As I was on my way to the ground, I thought to myself, "Man, woman, you are WAY too old to be falling like this..."  I fell with full force impact on my left side.   I laid on the ground for a bit, assessing the damage.  Things were moved to where they were not supposed to be in my neck and left arm and tush.  I rubbed my buttocks a little, then got back up and headed to work.  I called the chiropractor as soon as I got there.  (They can't get me in until next Monday...)  When I got home Monday night I took a nice long HOT bath to ease the pain of my poor body parts.

I survived the fall, but as I said, the older you get the less you want to fall as things tend to implode internally.  My left arm is the sorest object on me, taking the full force of the fall, and it looks like I got into a fight as it's bruised up quite nicely.  (On forensic shows, I believe it would be termed 'blunt force trauma' or something like that...)

So, needless to say, one should never wear work shoes with no treads on them in the winter.  Last night I got myself a nice furry sturdy pair of old lady boots - new and everything - with treads from here to New York.  Next time I fall, I'm gonna at least have warm feet. 

I was at the store last night because my son announced, "Oh, Yeah, by the way - I need a colorful dress shirt for Jazz band on Friday morning..."  You know how those male teens plan stuff in advance.   On the way out the door last night, I asked my son if his dress pants still fit.   (He was instructed to test this vital factor after the whole "gotta look nice for jazz band performance" original announcement...)  "Um, I don't know - I forgot!"  So we waited as he tried on his dress pants.  His dress pant no longer fit.  So, we headed off to buy a shirt, pants, and undershirts for the wee one.  (And as it turned out, old lady boots for me.)

I must say, this morning the boy looked quite handsome when he came out of the bathroom.  I got teary eyed, and told him how fine he looked.  (The exact statement was, "Oh, my Baby boy!  You look so adorable!  Mom is so proud!  My baby is growing up so fast...")  He blushed and said, "Mom!  Stop it!"  I then asked him if he remembered deodorant at which he rolled his eyes and threw his head back in disgust.  "Darn it!  I forgot!"  So he proceeded to undress his cute self... which just enforces my feeling that my sole purpose in life sometimes is to serve as everyone's 'check list' - if I was not here on earth, for example - there would be one stinky pant-less 15 year old male performing for a bunch of people on the school board right about now...

November 25, 2008 - I started this at 3 a.m.  I went to bed at seven p.m. last night (will explain later) and the longest I could sleep was three a.m.  Sigh.   I'm up now, so I'll type...

I got my turkey this weekend.  I named my turkey Frank.  (When we used to get a turkey from work for holidays I would strap mine in my front seat passenger side and drive it around town for a while, as I would soon be shoving items up it's lower regions and and I felt I should at least show it a good time first...)  Frank is patiently waiting for Thursday at this point in my fridge.  I think I have pretty much all I need for a big dinner on Thursday.   Now, for the motivation... I forgot to buy some motivation... 

Yesterday was a roller coaster kind of day.  I had my yearly poke-n-prod at my new doctor's office.  I must admit I was more nervous than I thought about this event.  Switching doctor's is quite stressful, but I didn't realize how much!  I had written down all my medications and their dosage, as I knew that subject would be covered.  I went in a half hour early to fill out the history paperwork.  Prior to leaving work to go to this visit I felt anxious and panicked - which I found quite odd yet I was unable to control the worry.  (I am 48 years old for gosh sakes and have pooped out three kids and had at least 20 some pap tests or yearly checks over the years plus passed kidney stones - so I knew I shouldn't be upset about a mere yearly exam!  You get to a point in your life as a female where you are pretty sure there is a sign down there that states "this area is for loading and unloading only" because these types of exams can get quite mechanical and mundane and, well - just part of life.  No need to be upset over that!)

It wasn't until I overheard some people at work talking about one of our coworkers being in the hospital for a blood clot in her leg and then my leg instantly started aching that I realized what was going on!   Duh.  My brain was off on it's own again, thinking of things without my permission!  I had let my brain stew and worry about something without intervening.   I would have said something to myself had I known I was so worried, but NO, my brain waits until the morning before I leave to suddenly start throwing things our there or latching on to things it's been secretly worried about.  I am always amazed by the human brain but sometimes, as in this case, I was a little pissed off.  How dare it wait until right before a visit with a new doctor to go all spazzy and hypochondriacal like?  (I thought I just made that word up but it is in the dictionary, so I am obviously not the first one with an over active rebel brain...) 

I must admit that since my slip and plop on the ice last Monday that Stella the hernia was making herself 'known' again - I had pain in in that general area near my belly button.  I know for the last week I had been pondering the fact that perhaps I had caused Stella more damage when I fell and maybe she was now a free range hernia and they'd find intestines lodged in my shoes eventually...

So there you have it - leave a brain on it's own and it will worry about stuff to the point of being out of control.  Once I realized what I was doing to myself, I told myself, "Well, that will be enough of that, Missy!" and took my brain and the rest of me to the doctor.  All in all it was a good visit.  I felt welcomed and treated well.  The lady who did my exam was kind enough to look through my old records from my previous doctor when I couldn't remember something.  I told her about my fear concerning Stella so when she did the breast exam, she took some time to knead and massage around the hernia area to check it's status.  (I thought it was cute because she closed her eyes to do the checking which is how I would do it myself - closing your eyes and using the 'force' as it were - and she literally kneaded and pushed and prodded until I finally suggested she stop or I would fart on her...)  She said it was fine, as far as hernias go, and that Stella was not free range and still encased in muscles.  Instantly I felt lightheaded.  It was just what my brain wanted to hear.  I mentally said to myself, "See, all that worry for nothing when you could have been working on something like a cure for cancer or the like!  Oy!"

The actual lower exam part was a bit more drawn out, as apparently my cervix was being antisocial and shy.  It took her a while to get it to stay put and allow a smear to be taken.  I felt bad for her.  I suggested we had 'a runner' and periodically as I would spew off humorous things I'd see her peek over my belly at me.  "It's my fault..." I lamented in a faux sad voice, "I don't take it out for walks enough..."  After speculum adjustments and various angles, the nice lady got her swab and I got to go back to work.  

That was my morning, the afternoon was a trip to my chiropractor.  I told him about my fall the week prior.  He checked my arm and snapped something back in place and then did the normal adjustment.  But 4 p.m. on Monday I felt like a new woman. 

I went to the store and bought pizza for supper in celebration and came home mentally high as a kite, with Christmas music blaring from my car stereo and life just seemed divine ... then I pulled into the driveway...

Let's go back in time to a week ago Sunday night, when I checked the web portal for parents (where you can see your kid's grades in 'real time' as it were ... you know, the 'Big Brother' type monitoring all kids just adore their parent having access to) and on the page for Chemistry class for my youngest son was a big fat bold 'F' staring at me.  I instantly made him surrender his computer.  "Bad...Bad...'F' is not acceptable!  Bad!"   (Picture me as the robot from 'Lost in Space' about now - as that was the manner that all came out of my mouth at the time and I'm sure my arms were flailing wildly as well...) 

"Mom, it's just two grades!  It will get better!" 

"No! No 'Fs' allowed!  Not acceptable!  No missing work allowed!  No 'Fs' allowed!..." 

This went on for a while, back and forth between the my son and me, and he finally threw his laptop into my chair and fled upstairs.  I emailed his Chemistry teacher as I had done before when he was slacking (but he never had an 'F') and also left her voice mail.  "...You never did respond the first time, so I am thinking all my emails have been going to your spam folder..." I told her.  I got an email back the next morning.  Sure enough, all my requests had fallen into her spam folder and she apologized profusely.  She gave my son the chance to make up some points on a lab that he didn't do right, and then the rest of last week I worked with him on studying.  I let the teacher know that he had lost internet rights until his grade was out of the toilet and that the 'big test' on Friday was critical for the boy's well being and the privilege to continue amongst the living at our house...   

Seriously, how much could I help him study?  I had no CLUE what they were doing.  I had never done this type of chemical conversion / balancing in High School so I couldn't help him that way, but every night I forced him to explain what he had learned that day to me and I also forced him to review each of the homework problems to me.  He even helped me work a few out myself.   (Mass to mass, mol to mass, mass to mol, mol to grams - HOLY CRAP.)  Then last Thursday night he brought down his review sheet they were given for the test, and all the problems were done except the first one.  "That's too hard, it can't be done!" he said.  "No, we will do it!"  Together we balanced it.   It took several tries and lots of scrap paper, but we got it balanced.  I am still not sure what we were balancing nor why, but it was done without anyone's eyes exploding or either one of us falling on the floor in a seizure.

I had emailed her and asked her if she could possibly post his test grade as soon as she could - she couldn't promise it would be done on Friday.  I checked a lot on Friday.  Then I checked a lot on Saturday. Then on Sunday evening, I checked again, and the grade was no longer an 'F', it was a C-.   The little turd had pulled it out of the toilet and gotten a kick butt grade on his test.  Massive sigh of relief.  He got his computer back.

I tell you this whole story because last night after dinner, I let him know it the web portal showed he had some missing assignments.  (I was just pointing this out because I truly thought I was doing him a favor, and and I was still all high and happy from my day...the rule is if he can show me the missing work and turn it in the next day, he's fine.)  He was very pissy after that to say the least.  He went about his nightly chores in a manner befitting a female who had her Pamprin and chocolate taken away at the wrong time of the month.   He stormed upstairs afterwards.  I got on messaging service via my computer and told him I didn't appreciate him treating me like so much dog poop.  He proceeded to explain to me that he was sick of me threatening him with taking away stuff every time he looked at me wrong.  The conversation went back and forth a while, and it ended up with me just signing off and giving up.  I told him I was a good Mom and he was lucky to have me.  He truly is, but his anger towards me just brought my happy mood crashing down around my feet. 

I got up and in a stupor wandered into the kitchen.  It was then I realized my third shift husband had not touched the laundry that had been waiting to be folded all day nor had my son taken out garbage and things were left here and there as if to say, "Here, Sandy - this is for you!" and to top it all off, my husband had an upset stomach and the toilet was proof of that - no clean up on anyone's part but for me...

I folded the laundry.  I picked up stuff.  I cleaned the back lash on the toilet seat, and then I pulled out the garbage that needed to be taken out and walked outside and threw it in Herby Curby and crawled into one of our many sheds and cried.  I cried and cried.  Then, for fun, I cried some more.  After being 'high' all day with happiness after the stress of worrying too much, then the wrath of my son and the fact I was being taken for granted most of the time - well, I allowed myself to just collapse.  I was not angry.  I just cried.  I was not really sad, per say - I just needed to cry.  So I cried and felt much better and went back into the house and went to bed at seven p.m.  If no one had to worry about anything around the house, then neither did I, and frankly I wanted to go to bed.

This morning I see a duct taped snowman on my chair with a note card that says "SORRY" on it from my son. (I am assuming it's from him for it's not my husband's style to make cute things out of duct tape, although after last night's 'bathroom bonanza' a toilet paper swan would have been nice...)  I thought it was very nice of him in a way but I also still feel all used up this morning ... That feeling will also pass, I know for a fact.  You can't blame other people when you are an enabler yourself... 

I hung the snowman on the front door, as he is very cute and we all know I adore snow and it's by-products.  It was snowing at 3 a.m. actually, but now at 6:20 it's already warming up and the little snow on the ground is melting...

"Over the river and through the mud..."

November 30, 2008 - Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful, although it will always amaze me that you can spend 24+ hours preparing for something that is over in an hour.  Sigh.   We did have some excitement on Thanksgiving day, however, when my oldest son brought a guest to dinner.  Joe was his name.  Joe is a dog.  My son's best friend found Joe wandering and hungry and Joe's ribs were showing.  They asked my son if he wanted to 'foster' him until they either found the owner, found a real home, or until my son decided he wanted to keep Joe.

My son is an animal lover, so he offered his home to foster the dog.  He had to assure Joe that a meal was coming on a regular basis.  (My son says Joe 'hoards' things - eating half and hiding half of his food and treats.  We figured that was from the fact he was hungry for so long.) 

On the way here my son stopped to get gas and Joe made a break for it at the gas station and had quite a few people running all over a major roadway trying to herd him back.  At least my son had help!  Joe was finally lured in by an oatmeal cookie and a kind man with the cookie.  In the process of chasing and crawling under things and dodging cars, my son ended up breaking his driver's side rearview mirror.  He was thinking harsh thoughts about Joe. 

So, Joe came to our house for Thanksgiving day, or at least the attempt was made.  We figured our dogs would be happy to have a play mate.  I completely forgot about the cats...

Joe sniffed our dogs, and sniffed each of us.  My youngest found Joe's 'hotspot' and Joe was grooving on the attention.  I gave Joe some treats - and found out he knows how to 'shake' hands and 'sit' quite well.   Then out came Taffy, second to oldest cat.  Taffy is quite used to OUR dogs and the ritual greeting is presenting his rear for a hello sniff if the dogs feel so inclined.  So Taffy presented...

Joe sniffed.  Joe stared at Taffy.   Then next thing we know (it happened so fast we still can't remember exactly what he did) Joe had Taffy in his mouth shaking him like a rag doll.  Hair was literally flying off of Taffy in clumps.  We got Taffy out of Joe's mouth and Taffy ran behind the entertainment center.  Joe just kept walking around sniffing things as if nothing had happened, and whatever had happened was perfectly acceptable.  "I think I'm taking Joe home..." my son said as he got his coat on.  He felt to terrible about Taffy.  My daughter rode with Joe and my son.  After they left, we got Taffy out to inspect him.  I had my husband get me towels and a damp cool cloth in case he was bleeding.  Taffy was fine, no broken skin, just large bald spots here and there.  His eyes were VERY WIDE and he was tense as board.  It took a half hour of stroking him gently and cooing to him before we finally heard a very loud "S I G H..."  That was quite the excitement for Thursday.

The day before, on Wednesday, my youngest got his braces off in the morning, and then got his retainers that afternoon.  They gave him the standard lecture for retainers..."It's your responsibility to keep these safe.  Dogs love retainers.  You must clean them with cool water..." They explained the whole instruction sheet, and I explained it again on the way home.  I posted the 'rules' so he could see them whenever he wanted.  I must say the little goober looked quite handsome without his braces.  This is the picture they took right after braces came off...kind of looks like a young Kennedy getting off a sail boat.

So, the first day with the retainers went OK, and we all were enjoying his new 'smile' and sound - he seemed to talk much clearer without braces - and he demonstrated how if he sneezed too hard they could fly out.   All in all, things were going well.  Second day - Friday - also went well.   He was taking care of them in a professional manner.  I had no fear the wee one could pull this off.  Third Day - Saturday - well, the fun began...

My daughter and I went to get a color and cut in the morning with Terri.  (That was one of my daughter's request on her Christmas list.)  We got hot cocoa and had a good time.  We were both quite relaxed when we got home and I looked forward to a nice quiet afternoon.  After walking in the front door my son greeted me and handed me two wads of clear gum.  I mean, it looked like two wads of clear gum.  His face told me it wasn't gum.  I looked at the wads again - it was his retainers.  "Dogs got 'em," he said in a flat slightly angry voice.  "Oh My GOD!" I screamed in a slightly spastic 'how am I going to afford another set' kind of voice.  He explained what happened.  "Left them on the tray there, and ran upstairs to get my 'puter..." Apparently his several minutes upstairs was enough for Jake and Kia to sniff them out and grab them off the tray and start to consume them.  (Later when my husband explained how they found the dogs chewing on them all innocent like, I had to chuckle, but then reality hits me and I am just flabbergasted.)  I let the wee one know that the rest of his Christmas money would have to be spent on retainers.  He was not happy with himself.  By all rights he shouldn't be happy with himself.   "I learned my lesson" he proclaimed.  "Good, I hope so, but I still have to use the last of your Christmas money allocation to go towards the new set..." I explained.

Sigh.  So, considering he had them for 63 hours without incident, I guess he did really good, huh?  I will have to call first thing on Monday to find out when I can take him back in for a recasting and new ones.  I can't wait to find out how much that will be...

On a brighter note, after talking with my friend Jane on Tuesday about my feelings from the Nov.25th blog, she explained that it's not good to let your kids see you as 'perfect' all the time.  Well, not perfect, but kids can't just assume that one person is going to 'do it all' or they will go on with their lives assuming that about anyone they may meet and marry, etc.  This made much sense to me, finally. 

I announced to my family on Wednesday night that "...contrary to what you may believe or have read in the papers, I am not a super woman, nor was I ever a super woman.  I need help..."  So I forced my my family to help me.  They took it quite well, to be honest.  Even the rest of the weekend they were on top of stuff, without be told nor asked.  The times I did ask them to do something, they just did it without the normal delay or complaining.   That, I must admit, was a welcomed change.  Smile. 

December 7, 2008 - It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  We had a bonafide lake effect event yesterday.  I would say there is six inches of snow on the ground at least.  This morning, however, it's bright and the snow has stopped falling.   They took away the snow warnings and downgraded us to 'maybe some flurries' alert.   The dogs are very happy to have a fresh layer of snow to frolic in.  (They are like little kids when it comes to snow.) 

Yesterday during this snow event (AKA - driving snow and squalls coming at us in a blinding manner) I made my husband help me put up the Christmas lights on the house.  I never do anything fancy - the main goal is to slap some lights in a random fashion just to say I have lights on the house and just so my family can then tease me about how our lights are a "show stopper" and people come for miles to see my sloppy job on the lights.  Planning ahead has never entered into my over all expectation for the external house lighting at Christmas.  We've only had siding for three Christmas seasons now...prior to the 'days o siding' I would just put four hundred strings of lights on the dying pine in the front and call it good, but since the siding was installed, I've been able to take it up a notch.  BAM.

Normally it is just ME who throws up lights, but my husband took over this year.  He used the proper mounting tools and clips and did the ladder climbing.  I was amazed.  What caused my husband to take over?  Was he sick of the piss poor presentations I normally slap up, or was he finally getting in the 'spirit' as it were?  I had purchased a timer this year that could be programmed (not the funky cheap timer from last year that never worked but a real GE mega timer) so while my husband slapped up lights, I was setting up the timer.  I am pretty sure they couldn't have made the instructional print any smaller.  I had my reading glasses on PLUS a flashlight to read it.  After a while my husband asked, "...and what is it again you do for a living?"  (I work in an IT department, and he was amazed that a simple timer was giving me grief and he was taking too much delight in this fact that a timer had me baffled.) 

After he got my snow flake lights up (new this year for my annual Lights De Spectacular) he put up the star lights I had purchased as well.  Then he put up the icicle lights we had from last year along the dog fence.   He kept finding more strings of lights in the shed and bringing them out.  We had enough to go all the way around the dog pen.  Mind you, this whole time the wind was driving the snow straight and hard and his face we encrusted in a snow mustache and beard.  I eventually got the timer set, and we waited until five p.m. to see if I did my job well.  BAM!  The lights came on.  Smile.  All was merry and bright.  They went off at midnight, too, as I had told them to do.  BAM!

Since the "F" incident with my wee one in Chemistry, his grades have all be 'As' and 'Bs' on the Big Brother Web Portal for ALL classes.  I swear each time him and I have a 'run in' that I will surely fade away and die, unable to deal with him, but eventually it turns out like childbirth in general - you remember the pain, you just choose to forget it.  On the way to school the other morning he turned to me and he said, "You know, the kid you fight with or have the most trouble with is the kid who is most like yourself!"   (This came out of nowhere, as if he just remembered this from a class or T.V. special, but I'm pretty sure he must have heard it in school...)  I laughed and agreed.  "True statement!" I agreed.  He is like me, perhaps, personality wise and brain wise.  I still make him show me his homework every night since his 'F' and every night he tries to NOT do some of it, and I catch it and make him do it.  It's getting near Christmas, so I'm sure my greedy capitalistic wee one doesn't want to jeopardize any chances at getting gifts. 

Oh, and an update on his retainer incident - on the first of December I had to take him back for a new casting of his teeth.   They had to take three castings of his teeth as they couldn't get it right a few times (although I'm convinced they did that on purpose to teach the boy a lesson.)   On the third of December I took him in to get his new retainers.  The orthodontist said that this was a Christmas gift - but he'd only do it once.   I was relieved we didn't have to pay a million dollars for the boy's error.   Phew.  Sigh.  So far so good - we're up to 72+ hours without a retainer going missing and I've kept the dogs supplied in new raw hides to try to deter them from seeking out the chewy treats in my son's mouth.

Tuesday night I took him to get an eyes checked.  He announced a while back that his current glasses were 'doing him no good so why should I even wear them' which, being the astute Mom that I am, indicated he was probably over due for an eye exam.  The boy did need new glasses.  His one eye got stronger and the other one got weaker in something - I forget now what - but he does need a new pair.  We couldn't reuse the old frames as they were purchased when he was younger, and now he has a real 'human' head as it were so new frames were required as well.  The total for that little visit was 420 dollars.  Sigh.  Insurance will help with 300 of that, though - so I'm not too upset.  I would rather not have him try too many things in Braille too soon...

I just came in from cleaning off the cars so we could move them and my husband could snow blow where they sat.  It is sunny and bright and very brisk out.  There has to be at least six inches of snow on those cars or I'm not from Michigan, born and bred.  I restocked the suet feeders as the birdies have been eating seed and suet with gusto lately.  Now, I am going to go out in attempt to find the buried piles of doggie doo doo.  Wish me luck.

December 9, 2008 - It's 36 degrees outside and it's raining.  My snow will melt.   (My personal snow - I am pretty sure the whole weather pattern on Earth shifted over the weekend to make snow just for me.)  So now we'll have no snow soon, or even worse, the snow will stay because it gets below freezing then we'll have an ice rink on top of that.

Kia the dog (who had to potty in the worst way) got me out of bed yesterday morning at 4 a.m.  I decided in my infinite wisdom to start Christmas cards and the 'Family Letter' since I was up anyway.  Bad idea.   One should never type before one has coffee and never ever before your eyes have fully focused.  I typed my letter and chose some pictures for that letter and printed off ten sheets of paper before I realized my pictures were all askew.  I had not formatted the pictures to stay put nor did I double check the picture layout before printing.  I decided to start over... I had a nice stack of ten or so letters before I got ready for work.  I felt like I had accomplished something.

Last night I did the actual card printing.   I like to personalize my cards before I print.  I chose a cute Santa pattern for the first wave (to go with the letters already done.)  While I was waiting for one card to come out of the printer, I was scanning the 'family update letter' and almost puked.  I had many grammatical errors in the letter.  It read as if I was were drinking whilst typing.  Ug, me write goodly.  I had already put five cards/letters in envelopes.  I pondered as to what to do.  I decided to let those go as they stood and hoped that nobody would truly read the family letter update anyway, at least not with a yellow highlighter in hand to highlight my boo boos and grade me on it.  I also decided to try to fix the last batch with white-out.  Now that is festive!  White-Out almost looks like snow, right?  Sigh.

My infinite wisdom fit continued on... I fixed the last batch of those letters by covering my boo boo's with the white-out and writing over that.  As I was stuffing the last letter in the last card of that batch, I noticed the front of the card said, "Merry Christmas to the Rhonda!"   My mouth dropped open and my eyes flew out of their sockets.  "THE RHONDA?" I said in a loud questioning confused voice that made my dogs bark and go on high alert.  When switching between "...to the Family Name..." and "...to an individual..."  I totally forgot to take out the 'the' - hence no doubt in the stack of cards there were many marked as that.  "Merry Christmas to the Gloria!"  "Merry Christmas to the Katie..."   etc.

Sigh.

I looked on in disbelief at that batch of cards that were now all stamped, stuffed, and ready to go as if they had a viral disease.   I couldn't bring myself to throw them away.  I couldn't bring myself to open them all and fix them.  I stared at them instead.  Looking at them with intense scrutiny would help, right?  I stared for ten minutes.  I sighed a lot.  I finally said to myself, "I love these people, they will understand I did this without coffee at four a.m. and after work at 8:30 p.m. when I was tired - either that or they will think I had a renegade bunch of third graders help me do my cards this year..."   (I hope they think it was the 'third grader' version so I can at least say I was a mentor to little kids...)

In the last batch of cards I corrected the family letter and watched the printing on the cards.  I took it slower.  I proof read.  I believe the last batch went out with very few errors.  (However, that is when I started to drop numbers and letters when hand writing the address on the front of the things so maybe there will be some that end up in Zimbabwe because I wrote the zip code wrong...)

I think people should start collecting my Christmas letters NOW as they will become a 'time line' to my mental decline as the years go on.  This is only the beginning folks, it can only go downhill from here ... stay tuned!

December 12, 2008 - It's currently spitting snow outside, which makes me very happy.  I love dark snowy days and on such days I'm sure I act like 99.9% of the other people who love bright sunny days.  Go figure...

Yesterday at work, I was very busy and microwaved my Lean Cuisine then started to eat it at my desk.  It tasted OK until I got to the chunks of chicken.  I chewed one and immediately spit it out with the grace of a kindergartner puking up a bug.  "Ugggggg, taste like FISH!" I proclaimed and shoved it aside.  I rinsed out my mouth and was a bit gaggy and decided to get box out of the garbage to find out if this one was way past expiration or what - amazingly the box said, "Salmon" and not "Chicken."   Hahahaha.  Duh.  No wonder my chicken tasted like fish!  Actually I was quite happy as I was VERY hungry...and knowing it was supposed to taste like fish made everything all better. 

I went shopping for some groceries and a few presents last night by myself.  I brought dinner home for the boys then headed out on my own.  Christmas music was on the radio and I sang loudly.  I went to three different stores and got a little from each.  I am not a shopper.  I hate to 'shop' with a passion.  I know exactly what I want and I go GET IT without the fluff of viewing other things.  Last night, however, being alone - I could meander the aisles and enjoy watching the people and appreciate the fact I was not the woman with the three little screaming kids in her cart...

Tonight is our departmental Christmas gathering and my daughter will be my date.  Tomorrow is my husband's side of the family get together plus my son's school is having their annual semi-formal Saturday night.  Sunday I plan on staying in pajamas all day long and moving as little as possible.

I have maintenance pills I take in the morning (like my thyroid pill) and this morning I popped in my thyroid pill and got a big gulp of coffee going to wash it down when my nose decided it was time to sneeze, NOW.   As an IT person, I realize the importance of keeping your PCs coffee free, so as the sneeze began (in slow motion in my head, mind you, as I was plotting it's projectile course in my mind) I shoved my home computer's keyboard under my desk and flipped down the cover of my work laptop to protect it during what was going to be a messy blow out of semi-dissolved synthroid and caffeine.  I managed to direct the main flow of coffee onto my fish tank and wall to my right.  There was a bit of coffee shrapnel on my work PC and home monitor, but the bulk of the mouth full of liquid was running down my living room wall.  Phew.  I cleaned that up and tried again.  Bless Me.  

There were foxes in my yard the other night!  I have lived here since 1985 and never seen foxes so close to the house (nor in my yard, to be honest!)  At first I thought it was a pack of feral cats come to kill Stewie, but then I saw the agile movements and fluffy tails as they ran and realized, "Hey ,those are Foxes!"  I even said it out loud, "Hey, you guys are foxes!" which stopped the three in their tracks and made them turn back the way they came.  They ran between the trees like it was a driving course - in and out and in an out - and then headed into the wooded area.  Just when I think I've seen it all, there is something new to see.  I believe at this point I would not be shocked to see a mammoth elephant out front...

December 17, 2008 - SNOW!!  We got it!  I would say about four to five inches fell last night.  I'm thrilled.  Of course the roads were a bit icky this morning when I took wee one to Jazz Band, but still...the Christmas lights were stunning - glowing on trees under that layer of snow.  Contented sigh.  Thursday night we are supposed to get sleet and more snow.  The sleet part I could do without. 

I have an infection above a tooth/in my gum area.  Ouchies.  Last week we went for a cleanings, and when she was cleaning around my back upper molar it felt SO GOOD... However, it started a down hill journey after that.  I assumed it was from the cleaning - getting the six months worth build up out and irritating the gum line area.  However, it got bad enough where I took turns dialing the dentist office and then doctor's office to see who would pick up first.  My dentist office won.  They got me right in and took a deep x-ray and saw that I had another cavity under the gum line that probably got irritated when they cleaned it, plus my whole gum area was inflamed so you don't mess around with nerves on fire and soft tissue infections - I'm on antibiotics as I type.  I will go back in on Monday to see if he will fix it and fill the new cavity part and shore up the current filling.  If he tells me he suggests a root canal, I'm going to tell him to pull it out.  I don't think I could live through another root canal.  Sigh.

December 18, 2008 - My face is feeling a tad bit better this morning, but the gum area is still sore.   It has done wonders when it comes to weight loss, however - having an infected face.  I don't want to chew to bother the tooth, so I don't.  Maybe I'm on to something here ... if I stop brushing my teeth and they all get infected and I never eat anything but clear broth ever again, I could end up looking like Pam Anderson. 

There is a winter storm warning out for tonight and at first they were saying we'd get mostly ice, so last night I drew a supply of toilet flushin' water and filled the tea pot on the stove and my husband got gas for the generator.  Now it looks like we'll get more snow than ice, but one can never be too sure.  The area where I live tends to lose power at the sneeze of a mouse, so we'll see...  Tonight is the Christmas Band Concert, so I hope it holds off until after that!  If I don't get my 'Sleigh Ride' I get very testy.

So many people are being laid off.  I read in our local news that the unemployment web site was handling the influx quite well.   I believe they said Michigan's unemployment rate was at 9.6%.  Yikes.  I give all I can at each Salvation Army Red Bucket when I hear the bells ring and to the United Way, 'cause the next person using their services may be my own family! 

Last time I purchased panty hose, I grabbed the 'control top' ones.  DUH.  For those of you who do not wear panty hose, the mere application of a normal panty hose to your body is, in itself, a chore.  It is a consensus amongst all women that a MAN created the panty hose.   Putting on panty hose is the female's own person 'rubick's cube' of clothing as you have to contort into a million different shapes to get the things on.  Now, control top panty hose bump the whole 'twister/rubik' factor up a notch.  By the time you do get them up and over any bulges, the control top part at least, the leg parts are still baggy at the ankles.  I ended up with the control panel part pretty much pulled clean up over my boobs and it looked like I was shedding my leg skin - there was so much slack in the leg part.  Sigh.  I wouldn't even wear them but it's winter and I'm cold plus I'm also a glow in the dark albino ... nylons help both those issues in the winter.  

December 22, 2008 - It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  Lots-o-snow this weekend with more on the way later this week.  There are foot tall drifts in some places in the yard and three inches of snow right next to that.  The dogs don't like the blowing winds and prefer to run out and prance, poop, then run right back in and get warm.  Jake is particularly a whimp for very cold weather.  He prefers a good book and snooze on the couch.

I'm on vacation these two days before the holidays.  Saturday I did absolutely nothing at all except be alive.  It was glorious.  Yesterday I did make a decent supper for the herd here at home, but I can't do laundry as our pipes are frozen in the laundry room.  I assume that will be resolved today...

Two hours from this very second I'll be at the dentist getting drilled and filled.  Today is the day I go into to get my back upper molar shored up and fixed.  Wish me luck.  I will begin 'doping' soon.   (I have to take a relaxing drug so I don't freak out about being in the chair, laid back flat with all my fat slipping from my feet to my neck, and unable to close my mouth.)   I have NOT thought about it all weekend, and don't feel stressed at this point, however - it could kick in at any time.  When I went in last Monday to discuss the infection, Laurie and Dr. Dornbos took their time to soothe and calm me about the procedure.  Sigh.  Being a baby about dental work is not something you want to put on your resume.  I could plop a kid out in a rice paddy field in a tsunami and go right back to work...I could pass three kidney stones and work a full shift and juggle - but put me in the dentist chair and suddenly I'm reduced to a pile of wet philo dough, taking drugs in an effort not to panic and clench down on their poor fingers.  Oy.   People!  Go figure.

My husband waits until the last minute to go Christmas shopping every year, and he went out on Saturday this weekend only to come home to complain how busy it was at the stores.  (The only thing I really asked for this year was that he take my car in to get it detailed/cleaned.  He claims this is a stupid thing to do when it's winter out.  "One must wait until it's spring before doing that."  I say, "It's Christmas - get my car detailed!"   Oh well.)  I told him NO perfume and NO pots and pans - so I imagine that is exactly what is under the tree for me right now.  Smile. I find it fascinating, now that the kids are older and buying stuff with their own money, how creative they can get with their gifts to people.  They actually put thought into the process and think it through.  (My daughter spent a lot of time putting together a theme present for her boyfriend, for example.) 

My husband did get himself a Christmas present, though - so the shopping trip was not all lost.  He got himself a flat screened TV.  Now mind you - he's laid off for a couple of weeks, but by golly, he'll have a TV to watch!  Sigh. I didn't get upset, because what is the use?  I let it happen.  My daughter will get our old TV (32 inch) and her TV will come back to my youngest son.  TVs will be flying all over soon.  The circle of life or the circle of televisions - same thing. 

Now, off I go to begin the drugging of Sandy.  You would all enjoy watching me do this.  I am quite funny when under the influence of drugs...just ask my dentist.

December 28, 2008 - It wasn't until this morning that I noticed I had put the year of '2007' on all of this month's entries!  Hahaha - talk about a time warp issue!  Duh.   I thought I had better check the archives as well, to see how long this copy and pasting had been going on...apparently only for this month. 

I was recently talking to family and friends (and anyone who would listen) about the 'mini' panics I get when I think about time lately.  They are blurbs of thought - just a few seconds of fear - when I am about to fall asleep or at the oddest moments.   They usually start with a passing thought such as  "Wow, I'm 48 years old" and then somewhere else in the brain a thought pops up that says "Holy Crap - WE ARE 48 YEARS OLD????  When the hell did THAT happen to us?" and continues on with other pop up thoughts such as "Were we not just in High School?  I swear we were just in High School!" and "Where did the time go and why don't we remember everything about those years?" and "Where did I park?" and such.  This will continue until I finally take control of my brain again and demand that I just 'deal with the time span' and get over it.  Sigh.  Many people have these thoughts, however - I am not alone here.   Time slips through our fingers and brain like sand through an hour glass.   Plop.

My dentist visit was quite wonderful, if I may say so myself.  I was thoroughly drugged for the event.  I was perhaps too drugged - as I barely remember anything about it!  I remember being ultra-relaxed in the chair and my dentist and his assistant Lori were ever so kind and the Christmas music playing was ever so wonderful and the filling fix was over in minutes, I swear, and I laid in the chair just amazed at how something that was going to be so huge to fix only took seconds...

Later in the day on the 22nd when the effects of the anti-spaz pills wore off, I noticed I had written a check for my 'co-pay' part of the dental visit but for the life of me I cannot remember doing it.  I also noticed there were candles and a few festive new things in a bag on the table.  "When did I get these?" I asked my husband.  "You got them when I came to pick you up from the dentist - we went into Hill's Pharmacy to get my pills and you got that stuff..."  I do NOT remember doing that!  Ah, lack of memory is sometimes a wonderful thing.  I was not upset nor too fretful before hand about the visit as I have been working on that 'fear' of mine - but I still must have been subliminally worried to take too many "don't-you-go-a-spazzin-out-now" pills.   My tooth is fixed and the huge gap that had collected enough food to feed Africa for several years was filled up and when you look in there it looks like a 'normal' tooth.   (However, now I can't get floss in between the tooth and it's neighbor without shredding it to shards of spearmint flavored green fluff, so I have to blow it out with the waterpik.)  I got myself a new waterpik - the old one died after two years of blowing crap out of my son's braces.  I got the deluxe version - it looks like something you'd strap on your back and go into battle with in a video game.  It's awesome.  Set at the highest level, you could sandblast glass with that thing!

Christmas Eve was fun.  My sister came over with my two youngest nieces as has become tradition and we had light finger food and shared presents and laughter.   Many interesting pictures were taken and I had to laugh when I saw some of them.  One of my favorites was of my youngest son, who was posing with his new scarf that his Aunt had made him - for some reason this strikes me as funny.  When he wasn't hamming it up for the camera he actually looked quite cute in his scarf.  (What I was really thinking at the time was, "Ah, he would have been an adorable little girl!") To the right is a pic of my daughter and her cousin and they look full of the joy of life, if I say so myself.

It's kind of neat now that the kids are older when it comes to Christmas morning or presents in general.  They earn their money themselves now and they ponder who you are and they end up giving darned good gifts because they know you and somewhere down the road of their lives they have LISTENED to you! 

My oldest got me four new books by Terry Prachett.  That was way cool - I love his writing and I LOVE TO READ.  He also got me the DVDs of the animated series 'Duckman' - first and second season - and that was a shock!  I have been waiting for those to come out (legally) on DVD forever!   (They have been offered on line by people who have burned DVDs from recordings of the show - but there was no way I was going to buy them as bootleg.) 

My daughter got me a 'relaxation' gift just for ME of candles, bath salts, expensive lotion body wash, awesome bath girly shaving cream, and a new high quality disposable razor.  (She said that was because she 'hates' the cheap razors I buy that 'rip off her leg skin like so much beef jerky in a bag' when she comes over and uses the shower, so that part of the gift served dual purposes...)  She knows I love long hot soaks in the bath tub.  For me they are like mini-vacations. 

My youngest got me two sets of sandstone coasters that I have been wanting forever - one set of four with hummingbirds and one set of four with spring flowers.  He knows I adore the hummingbirds and look forward to spring for that purpose only.  (The mud of spring I could do without, Oy.) 

It's just kind of cool now that they are older.  They 'think' of you.  They got their Dad thoughtful and awesome gifts as well.   I'm not saying that I didn't love the years and years of handmade plaster ornaments with their pictures on it and the four thousand clothes pin reindeer they would bring home from school as presents as they were growing up ... those were priceless ...  it's just that now the gifts they give are thoughtful ones - they take the time to THINK.  I guess I'm just plain amazed at that fact.  Just when you feel taken for granted, TADA - they do stuff like that and you know they don't take you for granted at all...

My husband did well this year, too, even for waiting until the last minute.  I got a new knife set.  I always get a new knife set every year, I swear (and now that I ponder it I have no idea where the other 28 knife sets have gone over the years...but I digress...)  He got me a digital frame and cool purple fluffy slippers.  He got me an ice maker.  (I use a lot of ice and the thought was nice, however it was a floor model he got for a steal - and so not everything about this ice maker is in working order.  No user manual, and the digital screen doesn't work, but I figured it out enough to have made a ton of ice, and have consumed much ice since Christmas and have peed non-stop since Christmas as well from mass ice consumption of said ton of ice...)  He got me a new snow man from the Jim Shore collection that I adore so much.  He even took us all out for Chinese on Christmas Day so I didn't have to cook Christmas dinner until Friday. 

All in all, I made out like a bandit and we had a wonderful time and I think this year I will leave up the decorations until after the New Year's Day.  I usually have them down the day after, since our house is so small and all the Christmas stuff takes up valuable living space and all, but this year I feel quite festive yet - so it stays up. 

December 29, 2008 - I go back to work today for three days, then we get two days off again.  I had last Monday and Tuesday off as vacation days.  There were actually TWO WHOLE DAYS last week I did NOT check the computers AT ALL.  Amazing for me.  Normally I have to read/check/do something on them every day.  I just thank God everyday I'm working and DON'T complain.  So many people are without work and it can only get worse before it gets better. 

In just two days it will be a whole new year...holy crap.  Sigh.  Where did I park?  Were we not just in High School?...

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